being single....

do u enjoy being single or do u prefer 2 be in a relationship an reap the benefit???
do u hate relationships and the sad deja vu outcome of most of them???
do u just settle or sticc it out till u find the rite 1???
whats your outlook on being single???

i kno i prefer 2 be single until i find the rite 1 cuz most ppl dnt seem rite 4 me.......relationships succ wen is not wat u really want but once or twice i jus stucc wit it cuz i felt it was the rite thing 2 do

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Permalink Reply by MER on January 18, 2010 at 6:21pm

I'm ok and not ok with it.

(rant on/curses on)
I've been taken advantage of so much that I have to actually think before I date someone. It's hard for me b/c I get nothing. I'm serious, I get nothing, and any guy who picks me up turns out to be a jerk who's whole goal is to take advantage of me.

Everybody around me says, "Oh you'll find the right guy" but I seriously think they're lying. People always says that b/c they're just being nice.

I've also started to question if guys even remember I'm a female woman. It really bites. I'm in a self loathe (that I'm trying to keep at bay) b/c a lot of my girl friends have guys actually acknowledge that they're females while they treat me differently. It bloody annoys the hell out of me.

It feels like I'm solo for life and have to prepare myself for it. I don't like the thought of being alone for the rest of my life (it's a lot easier to take being solo for a while before finding the one), but I don't have a choice, and it's better than being with someone who makes my life utter hell. But it'd be nice if a flipping guy flirted with me for once or hell, treated me like a goddamn female that I am.

(rant off/curses off)

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Permalink Reply by kifaru on January 18, 2010 at 6:37pm

Don't sweat it Mer. The fact is you may or may not "find" somebody. More likely than not you'll find several somebodies and you'll just have to choose. I found who I seriously believe was Ms Right last year but I was in the wrong state of mind pining away for a former Ms Right and took an "L". Shit happens. Don"t worry. You got time. You got just as good of a chance as anybody..

MER said:

I'm ok and not ok with it.

(rant on/curses on)
I've been taken advantage of so much that I have to actually think before I date someone. It's hard for me b/c I get nothing. I'm serious, I get nothing, and any guy who picks me up turns out to be a jerk who's whole goal is to take advantage of me.

Everybody around me says, "Oh you'll find the right guy" but I seriously think they're lying. People always says that b/c they're just being nice.

I've also started to question if guys even remember I'm a female woman. It really bites. I'm in a self loathe (that I'm trying to keep at bay) b/c a lot of my girl friends have guys actually acknowledge that they're females while they treat me differently. It bloody annoys the hell out of me.

It feels like I'm solo for life and have to prepare myself for it. I don't like the thought of being alone for the rest of my life (it's a lot easier to take being solo for a while before finding the one), but I don't have a choice, and it's better than being with someone who makes my life utter hell. But it'd be nice if a flipping guy flirted with me for once or hell, treated me like a goddamn female that I am.

(rant off/curses off)

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Permalink Reply by Obsidian on January 19, 2010 at 6:23am

So, friends of yours whose boyfriends treat them like females, how are they like in manner and appearance? What do you mean when you say female? What is a representation of female in your head. It could be they are treating you as how they think is female, but you interpret it as not being equal to how your friends are treated. I don't buy into the concept of soul mares or what not, I do buy into the concept of compatibility. Compatibility has nothing to do with how female or how male one id and how they are treated like thus; no, i is how you relate to another human being. Could it be that you have reached a better state of viewing yourself? You realize that the relationships you've had in the past have been shallow and now you want better. Trust me, a jerk is a jerk is a jerk and will treat a woman or man however way they want and in the process will make them feel like less than dirt, which in your case is being made to feel like "not a female". It could be your worry is really just growing pains made cloudy by the fact that just maybe you are surrounded by jerks in your "personal circle". Take it as a positive. Once you stop obsessing over finding that perfect other who will treat you like you've always wanted to be treated, then you can focus on constructive relationships between like minded peers instead of jerks you date or engage in friendships because they are there and because they are willing.

MER said:

I'm ok and not ok with it.
(rant on/curses on) I've been taken advantage of so much that I have to actually think before I date someone. It's hard for me b/c I get nothing. I'm serious, I get nothing, and any guy who picks me up turns out to be a jerk who's whole goal is to take advantage of me.

Everybody around me says, "Oh you'll find the right guy" but I seriously think they're lying. People always says that b/c they're just being nice.

I've also started to question if guys even remember I'm a female woman. It really bites. I'm in a self loathe (that I'm trying to keep at bay) b/c a lot of my girl friends have guys actually acknowledge that they're females while they treat me differently. It bloody annoys the hell out of me.

It feels like I'm solo for life and have to prepare myself for it. I don't like the thought of being alone for the rest of my life (it's a lot easier to take being solo for a while before finding the one), but I don't have a choice, and it's better than being with someone who makes my life utter hell. But it'd be nice if a flipping guy flirted with me for once or hell, treated me like a goddamn female that I am.

(rant off/curses off)

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Permalink Reply by Rosenda on January 20, 2010 at 4:45pm

That's the good man I want too. I underestimated before how important it is to have the things you are passionate about in common with a man and I want to meet that one who wants the same thing as I want and is ready for that and can make it happen with me and journey along with me. Ya know? I way underestimated that before, and I think it's because I did not value myself enough that way to know I'm worth the best and worth what I exactly want. I know I have a lot to offer and give that person whether they are here already or not even in my sphere yet. I hear you and Kendrick on that feeling and wanting someone you share most of your passions/interests in life with. It means everything to me.

lyfenlyn said:

The thing with me is I feel like I haven't had a relationship with a real live grown assed man. Something committed and headding to something perminant. It's been more than a decade since I have been in a relationship. I spent the majority of my adult life in the gay community which didn't really help. I had boyfriends in my 20's but they were ill fitting and the main thing the relationship revolved around was the bedroom. Outside of that there was nothing in common. I got it in my head to start following my purpose as an artist, performer, designer and I will meet the men that I have things in common with in that realm. Art is incredibly important to me. I need a man who is about it to either involved in it or a real lover of it. When I can't share that part of my life with the man I am with it's a real problem. Just like I love to dance and spent most of my life in a dance studio. To be with a man who cant and wont dance is a hinderance. Because then you have that I'm going out dancing, and he stays home and wants to be all pissy when you get home conflict, which I am not going through. My boyfriends didn't know much about life, or anything for that matter, and the worst part was they werent even curious. Nothing inspired then, they had passion for nothing. I wont go back. Ill stay single before I will go back to mediocre and mundane.

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Permalink Reply by Cindy on January 25, 2010 at 11:49pm

being single equals no drama and you only have to look out for yourself which is heaven.

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Permalink Reply by ItsJanelle on January 31, 2010 at 1:53am

I think I enjoyed being single more than being in a relationship. Only because being single means that I can do whatever I want, whenever I want. Plus being single is CHEAPER!!!!!!! but I enjoy my gf's company so I'm learning to love being in a relationship as well!

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Permalink Reply by Trancypunkitty on January 31, 2010 at 3:04am

I am newly single after a 2 year relationship.....i don't want to go back, soooooo
i guess its back to this for a while......i guess im ready to mingle, but still pissed as fuck

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Permalink Reply by lyfenlyn on February 1, 2010 at 1:41am

It's totally normal to be pissed off after a breakup. If youre ready to mingle be sure it's not just to take your anger out on some poor unsuspecting man. If you do feel like torturing somone just stay home. Only go out when you feel you are really ready to move past the ex and all that.