... the other Black experience
Yay or Nay - Asking Out A Co-Worker
So for the last few weeks, I've been thinking a lot about the new person at my job. I've since gotten over the fact that she was hired for a job I could have easily been promoted to (proposal development, I've aided the proposal department so many times, it's not even funny), as the real blame should go to the HR manager, who I've affectionately nicknamed "Some Ol' Bullshit". She knows the new girl personally, and pulled strings to convince the head honch to hire her. But I digress.
Anyway, we have the usual co-worker moments, passing each other in the halls, asking how the other's weekend was, etc. The question is, do I pursue? I've already invited her to lunch once, but she already had plans, the same for when I invited her to happy hour this past Friday. i kinda just want to flat out ask her on a date and cut the bullshit. Mind you, this isn't like like all my other post-break-up experiences. If I get shot down, I still have to see this woman every day we're both working her! Even if it works out briefly then nothing comes of it, I have to see her everyday!
Furthermore, if I'm being totally honest with myself, the part of me that usually wins out when it comes to women, the nice guy, is at odds with the growing part of me that kinda just wants get her in bed one time and be done with her. I know, it's awful, and I honestly don't like thinking that way, at least not in a situation where the girl in question certainly doenst seem like the type to operate on the same wavelength. Perhaps I'm giving her too much credit 'cause she seems so quaint (I swear, some of her wardrobe looks like it's from the 50s). She may be the "freak of the week" type for all I know, but I should be so lucky.
I know it seems like I'm answering my own question here, but I figured I'd see what others thought.
Anyway, we have the usual co-worker moments, passing each other in the halls, asking how the other's weekend was, etc. The question is, do I pursue? I've already invited her to lunch once, but she already had plans, the same for when I invited her to happy hour this past Friday. i kinda just want to flat out ask her on a date and cut the bullshit. Mind you, this isn't like like all my other post-break-up experiences. If I get shot down, I still have to see this woman every day we're both working her! Even if it works out briefly then nothing comes of it, I have to see her everyday!
Furthermore, if I'm being totally honest with myself, the part of me that usually wins out when it comes to women, the nice guy, is at odds with the growing part of me that kinda just wants get her in bed one time and be done with her. I know, it's awful, and I honestly don't like thinking that way, at least not in a situation where the girl in question certainly doenst seem like the type to operate on the same wavelength. Perhaps I'm giving her too much credit 'cause she seems so quaint (I swear, some of her wardrobe looks like it's from the 50s). She may be the "freak of the week" type for all I know, but I should be so lucky.
I know it seems like I'm answering my own question here, but I figured I'd see what others thought.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by X-D-D-M*9 on
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I spoke to the co-worker after a few days of missing each other on the gig. We had a decent convo on the phone and plan to hook up this weekend when spring break starts. We'll see.
As the homebiscuit keeps turning...
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Permalink Reply by Tapedek on -
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DON'T DO ITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
nah, its not that dramatic, but I've seen some REALLY bad scenarios take place and NEVER wanna jeopardize my job (I refuse to believe ANYONE is that good in bed).
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It happened...
I went out with the co-worker I previously spoke of. The word had got back through another party that she was interested, so after some delays we finally went out.
Went pretty well. We went to the art museum and then had a meal at an outdoor cafe downtown. The weather was great and our conversation really picked up there. I dropped her back home later that evening with plans of getting back together soon.
At work today, the teacher in my class asked about what I did over the weekend and I said I just went to the museum. The reason I played coy was because I know she knows what's up and is cool with the teacher I went out with. Everything that happened on the date, she already knows and that's all good. I knew stepping in and I'm going to roll with it. I'm on the Dating Game and the audience is watching.
They just better be prepared if things move along and she decides to share some more 'intimate' details. I ain't saying nothing but if she wants to reveal what goes on, I can't control that...
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Permalink Reply by Mäkkonen on -
"No"
you'll have to see her everyday then she'll probably rat you out for a raise or something--or vise versa
And then you or she might be crazy but you suppress it at work.--You;re better of not finding out which is the crazy one.
and then she wears 50's clothes..just dont touch it.
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Permalink Reply by Nadia C on -
Already did that. Done that. And now I sorta wish I hadn't, cause me and my coworker have a very awkward relationship that just goes on and off, and doesn't rest cause we're always *near each other, almost every day. I thought the whole scenario through with myself *before I pursued him intently and I *knew that this could happen, and that it *probably wasn't a good idea for me to get involved with someone i'm going to see five days of the week, possibly six for overtime, for however long I keep this job(Will at least be a few years). But I thought I had worked everything out, and could handle it a little bit better than i've been able to. Thankfully, though, i'm an Amazon. I'm not going anywhere. Haven't budged yet. Won't say it doesn't hurt sometimes when i'm in the workplace, but I don't let it stop me from laughing and enjoying myself. And collecting my paycheck.
He's so hot...
And a philosopher
So he's like
An Adonis
AND
A Sophocles
How much more perfect can you get?
Pursue what you want, if you will. Just make sure you can handle the consequences.
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Went on second date with the co-worker, cool. She still seems interested but just as cautious as any other female her age (late 30's to 40's, my age range). Seems more concerned about her nosy neighbors than the staff. Funny because another co-worker is floating around like she wants to do something too. I don't know, one thong's for sure is that nothing will jump off until school's out in less than a month.
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Permalink Reply by Ken-K on -
Daoud said:Went on second date with the co-worker, cool. She still seems interested but just as cautious as any other female her age (late 30's to 40's, my age range). Seems more concerned about her nosy neighbors than the staff. Funny because another co-worker is floating around like she wants to do something too. I don't know, one thong's for sure is that nothing will jump off until school's out in less than a month.
That a Freudian Slip, Daoud, or just an innocent misspelling.
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^^^ HA, hahahaaa oh sh----
yes Dr. Ken, maybe something else was on my mind.
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Date went well; very well...
This might work out a little something realisticly because it's the end of the year. Went to see a movie then had dinner here and got more 'personal' afterwards. Cool.
We stay out of the school rumour mill for two weeks and it'll be alright. Now I just have to keep the other co-worker at bay.
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Permalink Reply by Ken-K on
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Keep your wits about your, good sir! You just might pull this off!
Daoud said:Date went well; very well...
This might work out a little something realisticly because it's the end of the year. Went to see a movie then had dinner here and got more 'personal' afterwards. Cool.
We stay out of the school rumour mill for two weeks and it'll be alright. Now I just have to keep the other co-worker at bay.
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