Being different together: an opportunity to escape the male/female gender wars

Hello,

I've clocked on a pic on the site that said 'punk love' and it led me here, the words punk and love made me think....

I've been reading the sections on here a lot and while it's a darn sight better than practically all of the other black oriented boards that I now avoid, that are hell-bent on blame politics and stereotyping ("all black men are this, all black women are that" etc etc euurrgghhhh) I still get a sense that many guys and girls on this site have been 'making war more often than love' recently, which seems a shame... after all, aren't varying degrees of isolation from mainstream black and non-black communities enough?

I know where there are people there will inevitably be disagreements, worldviews that one 'should not bother' with all black men or women, sexism, homophobia etc etc, I'm still a bit bemused... in the midst of all that is happening in our world - internally and externally - why not consciously make the decision to make life more pleasant? AP guys and girls have more in common than what seperates us in my humble opinion.... how can we be more open to each other?

I should add as a caveat to the discussion I have opened that I am a lesbian, so I'm not coming at this from the agenda of 'why won't guys date me... waaaaahh' lameness. More as a curious observer.

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Permalink Reply by MER on November 23, 2008 at 4:16pm

How can we be more open to each other? Talk (and I mean the truth people!)

I dunno...I'm sort of confused on what this topic is mainly about ROFL.

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Permalink Reply by JUstLovebeatZ on February 5, 2010 at 11:16pm

Well said! Now knowing who's telling the truth that's the hard part... I've seen some mature folks on here so far so, Arthouse, I think we'll be alright :o)

MER said:

How can we be more open to each other? Talk (and I mean the truth people!)

I dunno...I'm sort of confused on what this topic is mainly about ROFL.

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Permalink Reply by SaintGermaine on February 5, 2010 at 11:30pm

I have a friend who I've always thought of as lesbian, but now she says is "transitioning" and to be honest, I'm not quite sure what it means. I don't think she's going to have any medical procedure or anything like that, but she's not very open with the details. She has changed her name, (not legally yet, but among her friends,) and no longer wants to be referred to with female personal pronouns.

At first I thought this was all ridiculous and wanted no part of it, but then I thought, who am I to tell someone what to call themselves? So I follow her rules, but I still feel a little awkward when I hang out with her. Linguistically, I feel she is very easy to a offend and I'm a real bull in a china shop when it comes to my language, so I always feel like I'm going to say the wrong thing and set her off.

I know this story may not help matters much, but I guess it's an example of modern gender dynamics.