... the other Black experience
Being picked at by other black people
There's probably something like this in another thread.
I don't know about everyone else, but when I'm around other black people, certain ones, I feel MORE uncomfortable then I would if I was with a bunch of white people. I feel really unwelcome. I always feel like I'm being picked at.
I'll tell you all about this girl in my dance class at school, shes the epitome of judgmental and ignorant. Everyday she asks me "Where ya clothes at?" "You didn't feel like wearing clothes today??"
She says this because I like wearing dresses and skirts to school, I don't really like to wear jeans. The second time she asked I say "Ok, what are clothes to you?" She said "Something like what I'm wearing" I say "Well I don't like to pants"..........Like why are you so worried whether I'm cold or not, your not my mom lol Black girls do this to me alllll the time, "where ya clothes at????" Whats with that? Then later on she started talking about how she hasn't worn a dress in a while because shes so skinny shes afraid how she would look. Which, made me just feel bad for her, that she was probably criticizing me, because she wished she felt good enough to wear dresses and skirts everyday.
Heres another thing, black people criticizing MY FOOD. If your eating something they're unfamiliar with, its always, "Eww whats that??" "Why does it look like that" "Is it good?". I was eating greek yogurt around this girl a few days ago and shes all, "Ew whats wrong with your yogurt thats way too thick blah blah blah" Seriously.
Now, this is just one person, and one situation but things like this have happened to me too many times. Oh and let me say I am in COLLEGE and this girl is 20.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by kifaru on -
Don't sweat it. It's painful to deal with stuff like that but you just got to let it go. To be frank some black people are just ignorant. I don't mean ignorant as it is usually used as in uncouth. I mean ignorant as in uninformed and unexposed to different things. They don't even know it or know that being that way is a problem. We have a lot of challenges in the black community not the least of which is learning how to be civil.
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Permalink Reply by Space Ghost on -
I know your pain!
Luckily for me, people are too afraid of me to say anything anymore. :3 But they're cowards and they say stupid shit behind my back. They go for the whole "she's weird" aspect or they comment on my afro. It's stupid shit. I'm used to it (aka mentally numbed out) and I just disregard them.
I honestly think it's sad that people outside of high school are still up to their high school antics. Good luck!
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Permalink Reply by Candiik13 on -
I'm actually not too bothered by it, I more feel bad for people like her. Thinking its ok to be so critical of everything someone does, that's just going to hold her back more in life.
kifaru said:
Don't sweat it. It's painful to deal with stuff like that but you just got to let it go. To be frank some black people are just ignorant. I don't mean ignorant as it is usually used as in uncouth. I mean ignorant as in uninformed and unexposed to different things. They don't even know it or know that being that way is a problem. We have a lot of challenges in the black community not the least of which is learning how to be civil.
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Permalink Reply by Candiik13 on
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Thanks Aaron :)
Thats awful, I sorta had the impression that things would be way different and accepting in the UK for some reason? I guess its just the same as here, in America I'd say the group of black people who stand out is very very very small. As for myself, I'm actually very very girl and, but I remembered being called "prissy" lol. Can't do anything right.
"It just bafffles me how a secular community can be so animalistic and spitefull towards their own people just because of the way they simply are." Yeah, this is the part that is so true and sad :(
Aaron Denzel Akeredolu said:Im very peleased someone had the initiative to start a thread discussing this issue of the aspects of racial identity within an alternative scene and the perceptions of others outside.
I know exactly what you mean,i feel like im constantly being scrutinized by other black males and people in genral just because i may not cater to a certain stereotype of the preconception of black males in the U.K. and its fucking awful (sorry to curse),i mean im still battling it as today.Its amazing how much this sort of issue contributes towards my low and depressive states on a regular basis honestly.Just because im a black male who just so happens to enjoy listening to hardcore and pop-punk and considers themselves quite integrated within the alternative scene, that somehow gives other black people ground to sctutinize and insult significantly.I dont necessarily know how it is in America per se but in London,the amount of black individuals who are so called ''punks'' and whatever is very scarce.It just bafffles me how a secular community can be so animalistic and spitefull towards their own people just because of the way they simply are.
If anybody is interested in this sort of issue of racial identity and misplacement within their own ethnic community then i'd suggest you check out the works of Osa Atoe (mrr columnist),she is an amazing individual i reccomend purchasing her various zines and stuff.
Thanks again
Aaron
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Permalink Reply by Candiik13 on
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I find people don't really say much to me anymore either, but this was like a week ago and the first time I can remember since like 10th grade that I had someone just picking on everything I do, this girl is actually not totally bad but that ignorance needs to be worked on. Thats exactly how I felt I felt like I was in middle school again, I couldn't believe someone would be like this in college lol! Its ok to not agree with someone is doing but you don't have to vocalize it. I don't like the way she dresses, but I don't need to tell her about it. lol
Space Ghost said:
I know your pain!
Luckily for me, people are too afraid of me to say anything anymore. :3 But they're cowards and they say stupid shit behind my back. They go for the whole "she's weird" aspect or they comment on my afro. It's stupid shit. I'm used to it (aka mentally numbed out) and I just disregard them.
I honestly think it's sad that people outside of high school are still up to their high school antics. Good luck!
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Permalink Reply by Mark Clemons on
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Try growing up being an Only Child in the 70's in my neighborhood with 2 working parents and being Light Skinned,I was the closest thing to looking White around there.I was considered the "Whiteboy" of the neighborhood,then going to a All Black Private School having a teacher call me Stupid and having the WHOLE CLASS doing it too,plus PHYSICAL & VERBAL ABUSE.Yall know something Mrs.Johnson PAID 4 how she treated me.SHES DEAD!!!!!!!!! ROT IN PIECES BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!
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Permalink Reply by Rosenda on -
Candilik, don't sweat any of it too much. That happens to some of us older black folks who are "different" too.
Be true to yourself, your likes, your dislikes, how you enjoy presenting yourself visually, do the things you like to do and learn about, keep focused on the things and acitivities you enjoy. And appreciate those few people black or otherwise who appreciate to real you. Seriously, when too many other black guys and girls around you, be it school home neighborhood church supermarket social places, et cetera, vocally or otherwise don't like who you are, fuck 'em. It's nice to feel accepted, but it's horribly painful to try "fitting in" and you don't. So don't bother with that shit, just BE who you feel you ARE. Smile!!
In time especially when you get out of high school college etc etc and out in the world, you'll find the other oddball "unusual" black folks that are just like you or at least appreciate you as you are. We too are Black and proud of who we are. We are an additional definition of what it means to be Black!
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Permalink Reply by Ghettopunkrocker on -
A few things...
20 is just "18" with experience. So, immaturity is still strong with her.
Yeah, certain mindsets are going to bother people that are different from them. It is what it is.
I dunno, even though I think it's more taught. SOME not ALL black women claim it's ingrained to be catty. I think it's bullshit.
Also, I just noticed that you're from Randallstown I know a guy who lives out there. Cool.
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Permalink Reply by Darkness Unlimited* on -
Sounds to me like typical female hatefulness. I sure am glad bros don't act this way to each other.
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Permalink Reply by Devin Thorn on -
It does suck that when a Black person steps out side the crowd of the stereotypes of Music, Style, Way of Talking, Food, and Hobbies if its not Affliated with the Stereotypical black person it means we are "acting white". I have went though this my whole life. I used to be the Vocalist in a Band 2 blacks 3 whites, and people asked me why am I not being myself. I wouldnt be myself if i gave in to that negativity. I sometimes feel that Blacks are other Blacks Worst Enemies. I always hear we should unite, but when good black people try to be themselves, and actually do something meaningful then this whole Urban Trend we are the Traitors of the black race. I really stop carin because to me it's not giving respect to someone who is different. I have many friends of all races who like the same things i like we have alot in common, but I never see other Latinos telling my Latino friends they are posers. I always see blacks judging other blacks cause we dont give in to that BS Don't sweat it at the end of the day you are one Person You. Your really Pretty, and you sound like you have your head on your shoulders. :-)
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Permalink Reply by SDMF Dallas on -
This is that same old black on black Civil war shit. It happends to me as well, im actually kinda scared of ghetto black women and there the one to start hitting on me and I ingnore them for reasons mostly cause I live a different lifestyle. I feel more comtable around a area of metalheads clearly then ghetto black people. And they act stupid as hell some times, like I cant have a intelligent conversation with them at all. There the reason why get pissed around them. But in the end if your a metalhead im kool with ya. Ive had a few other black metalhead friends as well, but being on here most of yal my other big time friends and I love it here were we actually talk bout thing on our mind that matter and relate and know the history behind alot of music. We make being a black metalhead sexy and better. too bad theres not enough of us in our neighborhood.
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Permalink Reply by malachi smith on -
It's pure fear, you know what's up. This is a phenomenon that passes through every race...it's so weird, but humans will trend toward group think, or whatever the dominant force of the moment suggests. That poor girl is actually sweating the shit out of you, and can't figure out a way to break loose herself, and just talk to you about it.
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