... the other Black experience
Celibacy/Abstinence...
Are you celibate/abstinent? If not, would you ever consider being celibate/abstinent, why/why not?? Under what circumstances??
Tags: celibacy
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by LesYpersound on -
google search'd because i was unsure of what celibacy means outside of the church:
"'celibacy' means renouncing the concept and tradition of marriage. And abstinence is a renouncing of sexual relations."
i am sexually abstinent.
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Permalink Reply by LesYpersound on
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sexual abstinence is taught in sex ed because it's the most effective birth control, it has nothing to do with being a virgin or marriage.
waiting for marriage = chastity.
my point was that celibacy and sexual abstinence are not interchangeable... and i google'd it because i was confused myself--i wasn't trying to be a dick about it. :P
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Permalink Reply by Rand0mgirl on -
I'm abstinent. I want to be with the right person. Many people see sex as a purely physical act when there should be an emotional and spiritual bond there. Many girls continue to date assholes and have sex with them and its just like "why?". Why is sex that serious that you can't even wait to be with a decent person. I feel it to be a special act. I'm waiting until marriage for sex with a male or female. Theres enough stds going around...
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Permalink Reply by Mesi Laveau-Jupiter on -
thank you both for your definitions, i would say that i'm actually both; abstinent and celibate. i doubt if i'll be both for life, however at this point in my life it's the BEST choice.
LesYpersound said:google search'd because i was unsure of what celibacy means outside of the church:
"'celibacy' means renouncing the concept and tradition of marriage. And abstinence is a renouncing of sexual relations."
i am sexually abstinent.
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Permalink Reply by Mesi Laveau-Jupiter on
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celibacy does that for me, allows me to have a CRYSTAL clear vision of the things i need to come into fruition and helps me to focus ALL of my energy on those things. i believe it also helps out with insight when it comes to gauging why some people are in my life.
Kendrick Irvin said:At this current stage in my life, yes I consider myself celibate. Its a hard thing. I like it though. I've been wanting to go celibate for a long while, but never had the will power. I'm celibate now, because I've come to realization that my decisions in the past have be horrible and that sex had been big distraction ,for me, when making good decisions. See, I already have to 2 daughters. I love them too death and wouldn't want to change the fact that I have them, but I dont want/need any more. I let sex ruin the relationship I had with their mother. Then I enter another relationship and realized that it was based off sex. After I got out of that relationship, I said "No More". I need to concentrate on real shit. Sex is just not that important to me and neither is having a relationship. I'm in school now and I'm focused on going through as much school as possible, PhD. That's my goal. Sex would definately not be my idea of anything that would help me to reach that goal, it could possibly hinder me. STD's, babies and relationships can definately be motivation killers or, at the least, unnecessary blocks. One's that could surely be avoided.
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Permalink Reply by Mesi Laveau-Jupiter on
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while i agree that sex should serve as an emotional/spiritual bond, i also believe that at the right time & with the right person, it should equally be recreationally fun. i don't think it should be taken so seriously at ALL times. i choose to be celibate/abstinent at this point because there are goals of mine that need to be met, and i would hate to have a "spoiler" take that away ... also being sexually involved with another person is a very complicated thing ... it can be super duper time consuming and emotionally straining.
with relationships i think by not having physical intimacy it will in some way or another force the couple to become intimate in other ways that may last longer/be stronger than a 10 minute act. no matter how good the sex may be, after a while it gets kind of old. why build something off of the physical alone ...
Sarah said:I'm abstinent. I want to be with the right person. Many people see sex as a purely physical act when there should be an emotional and spiritual bond there. Many girls continue to date assholes and have sex with them and its just like "why?". Why is sex that serious that you can't even wait to be with a decent person. I feel it to be a special act. I'm waiting until marriage for sex with a male or female. Theres enough stds going around...
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Permalink Reply by X-D-D-M*9 on
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I have not had sexual intercourse for nearly 2 and half years. I do masturbate so I don't know what category that would put me in, whatever you want to call it.
My decision to stop was nothing really righteous in origin but lead to me to re-examine my urges and drives and observe myself and others. I realize how much sex drives my actions and has brought on a level of discipline I didn't think I had. But it hasn't stopped me from sending 'Jack Johnson and Rosy Palmer' on dates together, nahimean? But I've even slowed that down because that connected to my regular lustful thoughts & actions.
Make no mistake I am no monk nor trying to be. I plan to have sex with right woman relationship or not, just no drama and madness and their must be a proper level of compatibility. I sure as hell am not in any contest to see how long I can hold out, if I meet the right lady tonight it's on (sorta, ha). I'm hoping to exit the desert of no sex early in 2010 but there's no guarantee everything will fall together. But if anybody knows any drama/disease-free women interested in a man with the same qualities, tell them to holla 'cause it's been a while (only half joking)...
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Permalink Reply by Jazzou on -
I am abstinent! I feel that it is very important because people arent dont practice safe sex. And i made my mistakes but i know its good to wait your my husband so for 6 years now i have been practicing this! Even though it is SO HARD!!!!! LOL
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Permalink Reply by Madamoiselle De Sade on -
I'm not smart or strong enough to practice abstinence. I can't even spell it.
Celibacy- I looked it up in the OED- and it is the state of being unmarred, so going with that I am celibate but I could see myself randomly getting married on a whim/fling/rash decision/slightly shady decision and later having it annulled or getting a divorce.
All because I am a heathen.
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Permalink Reply by Mesi Laveau-Jupiter on
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lol *funny funny*
i think it is a wide misconception that practicing abstinence/celibacy is a very difficult thing to do. Of course at certain times abstaining is a little more difficult than others, however, once you've practiced and mastered those temporary feelings, it's all good ... i've just noticed that my thought process is a lot more clear when i am not physically and emotionally attached to a person. i think that my clear mindset is way more valuable than a five minute rendevous with someone. now don't get me wrong, once i've decided to be a part of a comitted relationship, i think sex will definitely follow, but not now. it's a little too complicated for me right now. But then again, every man is different. And so if you like it, I love it...
Mlle d. Sade said:I'm not smart or strong enough to practice abstinence. I can't even spell it.
Celibacy- I looked it up in the OED- and it is the state of being unmarred, so going with that I am celibate but I could see myself randomly getting married on a whim/fling/rash decision/slightly shady decision and later having it annulled or getting a divorce.
All because I am a heathen.
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Permalink Reply by Death is Drunk on -
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