Cheaters---To tell or not to tell?

I was just reading an columnist's article in the Toronto Star where she published readers reponse to the above questions, which were quite diverse.

http://www.thestar.com/living/article/834054--ellie-to-tell-or-not-...

Now, the answer to this question may seem like a no-brainer (yes, you would tell the person if you knew that their boy/girlfriend was cheating on them) but this can be a complicated dilemma depending on the factors and situations involved. The messenger may have noble intentions but may get a kick in the teeth (figuratively or literally, depending on how pissed off the person is to the messenger) for their efforts. What you think should happen and what actually happens are two entirely different things.

Have you guys ever been in a situation where you knew someone (friend, relative, etc) was cheating on their partner? If so, what did you do?

If you were being cheated on by your partner, would you want someone to tell you? (Be honest.)

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Permalink Reply by X-D-D-M*9 on July 23, 2010 at 2:00pm

Yes I would want to be told.
I would probably give someone an anomynous clue about their partner cheating on them.

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Permalink Reply by LesYpersound on July 23, 2010 at 4:08pm

depends on the situation.

if i know the other person isn't putting out for whatever reason maybe the cheating is purely physical instead of psychological. and i would confront the cheating partner about safety and their reasons for cheating before i talk to the non-cheating partner. but if the person who is cheating denies and is an asshole about it--i'll drop the hints/suggestions/implicit proof on the non-cheating partner.

if i was dying of cancer and my partner had to get some on the side to stay with me then i probably wouldn't want to know. seeing as how not dying alone and w/o support > SO needing to get laid every month.

if I was completely blind to the two-timing asshole then i'd like for my friends to drop those hints and provide proof.

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Permalink Reply by Travarus Littlejohn on July 24, 2010 at 8:59pm

Yes this has happened to me.
My brother was cheating on his gf and she even asked me but all i could say was idk. Dindnt want to get in that and I felt bad about not telling her...but betraying my brother I couldnt do.

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Permalink Reply by kifaru on July 24, 2010 at 10:04pm

Hell yes, although there is some merit to not knowing. If it's not an affair and I am in love I might want to be spared the ensuing heartbreak. Fuck it! I need to know.