Childfree AP

Anyone else here childfree? No plans of being in the parenting way ever? No "I had kids and don't want anymore". No adoption. No deadbeat moms/dads who bail out. No "Well maybe if I marry someone who already has kids". No fencesitting. Heck, I'll even take it to hardcore levels, no donors, no giving up kids for adoption. NO BABIES EVER.

What made you decide that a childfree lifestyle was for you? What reactions have you had from friends and family members if you've told them of your decision? Anyone been "bingoed" on a racial basis or because of the lifestyle or subculture you subscribe to? Do you want to get fixed? Anyone here been sterilized, especially if you are 30 or younger? Has being childfree impacted your romantic relationships?

Tags: 'bout, I, babies, birthin', don't, know, no, nothin'

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Permalink Reply by Chococat on January 6, 2010 at 5:06am

i can't say that i won't ever have kids, but right now i don't want to. Like others have said raising another human being is a HUGE responsibility i"m not sure i would be able to handle. also i really don"t want to bring a child into this shitty world. I just keep thinking of the shit that that child will inherit. I don"t think i'd be able to watch my child struggle because they"re black or because they are female. so for right now my uterus is on lock.

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Permalink Reply by Death is Drunk on January 15, 2010 at 1:32pm

Getting your tubes tied, under 30 and childfree definitely won't happen unless you have three or more children. I haven't encountered much confrontation relationship wise. I just hate when people try to shift my stance by saying oh you're just not ready to have children now.

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Permalink Reply by LesYpersound on January 15, 2010 at 2:07pm

why can't it happen (re: getting tubes tied)?

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Permalink Reply by kifaru on January 15, 2010 at 6:07pm

Doctors won't do it because experience shows that people change their minds. Nothing like being threatened with a lawsuit for doing what a person asked you to do.

LesYpersound said:

why can't it happen (re: getting tubes tied)?

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Permalink Reply by Rosenda on January 20, 2010 at 5:10pm

hey cc! well said. another thing is.......at my age now i want a family of my own but not children. what "family" means to me is i want a man to call my own and for me to be his life/family too. family to me right now just means a relationship and a good one that is dedicated and a lot of fun. you don't have to have children to have "family" feeling, do you kno what I mean?

another thing.....at my age, i'm more likely to meet men who already have children, which is cool with me if we all get along.
i like children too and I spent a lot of good great times in the past 20-30 years spending a lot of time with my sister's children, my niece and nephew are grown now and one has children of her own. back when i was your age cortney, i too just did not have the baby fever and i was honest about that, but what I realize now is: the true reason I felt that way is because I had not met any man that i was that tight and strong feeling with to WANT to have children with them either.

i'm glad i did not have children just to have them either because for me i had strong feelings against that for my own self.
and i also knew too many men and women who had some major struggles because they did that and that affected me strongly.

children are beautiful and wonderful, they should not be "trendy". i am also glad no one in my immediate family gave me a hard because i chose not to have kids and because i chose not to have sex until i was good and damn well ready for it.

cortney crime said:

*sorry im late to this discussion*

im very thankful i have made it to 22 unscathed.I've been teetering with the idea of myself with kids for a while.As much as I love children and being around them (i'm on my way to becoming a teacher).I dont realistically see myself as a mother (or at least anytime before 40)...Most of my female cousins are working on their 2nd and 3rd ones.Its really depressing when i go home to visit them and they have to scramble to find a baby-sitter..i dont want that for myself. I've come to realize that at this point in my young life that i'm very much selfish (as i should be in my 20's).I like having a carefree life and being able to go and do as I please...I see myself as more of the aunt or the godmother.Those types of roles suit me better.I can spoil the child,baby sit or whatever and at the end of the day-its back to the parents.
This "attitude" has actually hindered me in past relationships.

*But as a human i am subject to change my mind frequently*

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Permalink Reply by Velour on February 12, 2010 at 2:13am

Ah children!
HELLZ NO!!!
I'm the oldest of 7 children- 10 years difference between me and next oldest. They are too much work. All that cuteness and baby fat squeeze time will never make up for the up 4 times every night feeding/puking sessions, the smelly pampers, potty training (and the subsequent clean up), their inability to do simple shit like wipe their own ass or take a proper bath, the tantrums and interchild arguments over Barbie....and this is only when they're young.
Who knows what they'll be when they're older? Rebellious, rapists, murderers, wife beaters, deadbeats, alcoholic, druggie, have kids of their own for you to raise, or they could fall in love with one of these types...then what?
Or they could be a Harvard graduate and Nobel Prize winner....but is it worth the gamble?

I too am selfish- so selfish I shouldn't have children. I spent my childhood raising those ''oh so cute children'' and I'm completely making up for it now ^-^
I come and go as I please. I'm noisy. I cook when I feel like it.
I USE ALL THE HOT WATER IN THE SHOWER BECAUSE I CAN!!!!!! ARG!

My parents love all of us. They both wanted a large family but it would be cool if I was considered before they popped them out one after another. I'm still young but I just won't forget the years raising children I never wanted. When people mention all the cute reasons they want children it makes me woozy because that's only a slice of the story. There's so much frustration, tears, sweat, sleepless nights, arguments, and worrying involved in raising your own flesh and blood. It's not worth it to me. I've raised my kids and I love them. I'm D-U-N!

I do want a family- a husband and friends (which are chosen family).

I get harassed as being immature and selfish. Children apparently change that....I doubt it.

I've noticed (and this is not a law or anything) but most of us who are dead set ''no children'' are eldest children or carried a heavy responsibility in the family. Many people who want a huge family are only children or youngest. I've asked and noticed a difference in opinions based on where they fell in line among their siblings. I'm not implying they're delusional. I just think their family experiences are different. Just an interesting point I've thought about.....

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Permalink Reply by Rage_Proletaire on February 12, 2010 at 8:31am

Velour said:

... When people mention all the cute reasons they want children it makes me woozy because that's only a slice of the story. There's so much frustration, tears, sweat, sleepless nights, arguments, and worrying involved in raising your own flesh and blood.

Amen. I meet too many people with that one-dimensional illusion regarding children. Like kids are quiet, paper cut-outs that you prop up to bring out the colors in a room or somethin'...