... the other Black experience
Crazy Life Decisions
I recently quit my job to pursue film making full time (well, until my savings run out ;)). When that happens, I will do a few gigs and keep it moving.
Anyone else done anything recently that seemed crazy to others but was exactly the right move for you? I am happy with my decision but am still a bit freaked out. Staring into the abyss of the unknown can be a little wacky.
I'd love to hear any funny/inspirational/thought-provoking stories. Thanks
EDIT:
I appreciate all the responses so far so I wanted to give a little more background to my story, in hopes that it might help someone else out:
It's frightening how we can lead ourselves away from our own goals. Example - my own journey as a filmmaker. In 2004, I took a big risk (for me) and sold everything I owned, gave up my job and apartment and left behind the person I was in love with to move from CA to NY on my own. I didn't have a job waiting for me, didn't know anyone and was clueless about the film/media industry. All I knew was that I wanted to learn about filmmaking and intern at Killer Films, the reason I didn't go to LA.
I did intern at Killer Films. I did learn a lot about filmmaking, through internships and jobs on film sets. But I allowed myself to lead myself astray. I became consumed with finding a job in the industry, because to me, that meant I had made it. All the sacrifices and pain of the journey would have been justified. My parents and friends could be proud of me back home for finding an "industry job." So, I put filmmaking aside to work as a PA on shows and films. I eventually became an Assistant Editor for tv shows. It paid more, but it wasn't what I wanted to do. I wasn't happy. I wasn't making films. Back in Cali, when I had an administrative job and was nowhere near any kind of scene, I still took my camera and made films with my friends. In NY, I had nothing to show in terms of my own creativity.
Through a series of events, I landed a gig at MTV News that was supposed to be temporary. When the opportunity arose to be considered for a staff job, I decided to go for it and earned it. I wanted to know what it felt like to have some stability after years of no furniture, not being able to afford to visit my family, of feeling like a nomad with no roots. I wanted roots, or what I thought roots should be. I chose to once again put my filmmaking to the side, because what I thought was important was proving I had "made it" to myself and my family.
Three years later, here I am. In five years in New York, I made one short film. I didn't submit it to any festivals. Because my focus was compromised, I honestly cared very little about that film.
In my five years in New York, I have met both rich and not rich folks who are miserable because they aren't pursuing their dreams. They are in limbo, in a place they feel no movement, whether they are in a penthouse or in a railroad apt share. The people who I have met who are actively pursuing their dreams have a look in their eye that I want for myself. They know who they are. They know what they want. They are going for it.
Looking back, I wouldn't change the decisions I made. They are in the past - I made them. A lot of good things came from them. But now, I will no longer put my dreams to the side. I think I would probably go crazy.
There are a million reasons to not pursue your dreams - no money, lack of contacts, bad health, lack of support, etc. But ultimately, you are in control of your own destiny. I am in control of my own destiny. Plenty of people start from nothing and still reach their goals. As a POC (even though I get mistaken for Italian or Jewish), I also know that there are situations that can seem pretty hopeless. It can feel like everywhere you turn is someone or something blocking you from what should be yours.
But your life is your own. My life is my own. Make of it what you can and be happy :)
We make our own lives and choosing to not take action (they way I chose not to make films for so long) is also a choice.
One final thought I'd like to include is that the best things to come into my life came as a direct result of helping others. Cheesy but true. Magic happens and doors open when you contribute to someone else's dreams.
specific example: Through volunteering at film festivals, I made contacts that ultimately led me to be recommended for industry jobs. When I moved to New York, I simply googled "film festivals" and contacted a bunch of them. A few hours a week = job connects. Also, becoming a Big Sister with Big Brothers Big Sisters led to more networking opportunities.
Anyone else done anything recently that seemed crazy to others but was exactly the right move for you? I am happy with my decision but am still a bit freaked out. Staring into the abyss of the unknown can be a little wacky.
I'd love to hear any funny/inspirational/thought-provoking stories. Thanks
EDIT:
I appreciate all the responses so far so I wanted to give a little more background to my story, in hopes that it might help someone else out:
It's frightening how we can lead ourselves away from our own goals. Example - my own journey as a filmmaker. In 2004, I took a big risk (for me) and sold everything I owned, gave up my job and apartment and left behind the person I was in love with to move from CA to NY on my own. I didn't have a job waiting for me, didn't know anyone and was clueless about the film/media industry. All I knew was that I wanted to learn about filmmaking and intern at Killer Films, the reason I didn't go to LA.
I did intern at Killer Films. I did learn a lot about filmmaking, through internships and jobs on film sets. But I allowed myself to lead myself astray. I became consumed with finding a job in the industry, because to me, that meant I had made it. All the sacrifices and pain of the journey would have been justified. My parents and friends could be proud of me back home for finding an "industry job." So, I put filmmaking aside to work as a PA on shows and films. I eventually became an Assistant Editor for tv shows. It paid more, but it wasn't what I wanted to do. I wasn't happy. I wasn't making films. Back in Cali, when I had an administrative job and was nowhere near any kind of scene, I still took my camera and made films with my friends. In NY, I had nothing to show in terms of my own creativity.
Through a series of events, I landed a gig at MTV News that was supposed to be temporary. When the opportunity arose to be considered for a staff job, I decided to go for it and earned it. I wanted to know what it felt like to have some stability after years of no furniture, not being able to afford to visit my family, of feeling like a nomad with no roots. I wanted roots, or what I thought roots should be. I chose to once again put my filmmaking to the side, because what I thought was important was proving I had "made it" to myself and my family.
Three years later, here I am. In five years in New York, I made one short film. I didn't submit it to any festivals. Because my focus was compromised, I honestly cared very little about that film.
In my five years in New York, I have met both rich and not rich folks who are miserable because they aren't pursuing their dreams. They are in limbo, in a place they feel no movement, whether they are in a penthouse or in a railroad apt share. The people who I have met who are actively pursuing their dreams have a look in their eye that I want for myself. They know who they are. They know what they want. They are going for it.
Looking back, I wouldn't change the decisions I made. They are in the past - I made them. A lot of good things came from them. But now, I will no longer put my dreams to the side. I think I would probably go crazy.
There are a million reasons to not pursue your dreams - no money, lack of contacts, bad health, lack of support, etc. But ultimately, you are in control of your own destiny. I am in control of my own destiny. Plenty of people start from nothing and still reach their goals. As a POC (even though I get mistaken for Italian or Jewish), I also know that there are situations that can seem pretty hopeless. It can feel like everywhere you turn is someone or something blocking you from what should be yours.
But your life is your own. My life is my own. Make of it what you can and be happy :)
We make our own lives and choosing to not take action (they way I chose not to make films for so long) is also a choice.
One final thought I'd like to include is that the best things to come into my life came as a direct result of helping others. Cheesy but true. Magic happens and doors open when you contribute to someone else's dreams.
specific example: Through volunteering at film festivals, I made contacts that ultimately led me to be recommended for industry jobs. When I moved to New York, I simply googled "film festivals" and contacted a bunch of them. A few hours a week = job connects. Also, becoming a Big Sister with Big Brothers Big Sisters led to more networking opportunities.
Tags: career, change, creative, dreams, following, goals, life, risk
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by sceneless on -
Not too crazy, but a few months ago I quit a good job and gave up my apt. to go to school and get a degree. Jobs are very hard to find here, let alone one as good as the one I had, but it was dead end, consumed all my time because I had to travel every week, and it was physical labor so I know I wouldn't be able to do it in the future. I'm now back at moms and looking to either find some part time retail work or find some kinda side hustle. Nothing too special, but I think it fits the topic :-)
What you're doing is very inspiring because I also wanted to do something film related one day, so definitely the best to you.
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Permalink Reply by Madamoiselle De Sade on -
Wow, you have guts.
I love how people hate "crazy" decisions. They only hate them because they're too scared to be happier.
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Permalink Reply by KiDGnuZ on
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Dont let know one Hinder you and your dreams,sure you can play the slave with a smile on yo face but, BABY this one LIFE YOU wil be liked kinda sorta at a job BUT you will be ADORED for you GUTS AND TENACITY BY MULTITUDES WHO TRULY CARE AND ARE INSPIRED BY YOUR ART ...... IN SIMPLE WORD *$CK JOBS LIVE DREAMS WE WILL SURVIVE YO BOY, KIDGNUZ
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Permalink Reply by BlaqJeff on -
ROBERT LATIMER JR said:Dont let know one Hinder you and your dreams,sure you can play the slave with a smile on yo face but, BABY this one LIFE YOU wil be liked kinda sorta at a job BUT you will be ADORED for you GUTS AND TENACITY BY MULTITUDES WHO TRULY CARE AND ARE INSPIRED BY YOUR ART ...... IN SIMPLE WORD *$CK JOBS LIVE DREAMS WE WILL SURVIVE YO BOY, KIDGNUZ
WTF???
Hey, I don't have any stories of inspiration, but I always admire people who take risks to pursue their dreams.
Good luck to you.
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Permalink Reply by DanielaInfinity on
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that is very inspiring, thank you! you're doing what is right for you.
sceneless said:Not too crazy, but a few months ago I quit a good job and gave up my apt. to go to school and get a degree. Jobs are very hard to find here, let alone one as good as the one I had, but it was dead end, consumed all my time because I had to travel every week, and it was physical labor so I know I wouldn't be able to do it in the future. I'm now back at moms and looking to either find some part time retail work or find some kinda side hustle. Nothing too special, but I think it fits the topic :-)
What you're doing is very inspiring because I also wanted to do something film related one day, so definitely the best to you.
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thanks :) i appreciate the good vibes
kifaru said:Best of luck to you.
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thanks, lady. my instinct is that i will be glad i did this, when i am a little old lady chuckling about the past.
Mlle d. Sade said:Wow, you have guts.
I love how people hate "crazy" decisions. They only hate them because they're too scared to be happier.
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:) wow, thanks!
ROBERT LATIMER JR said:Dont let know one Hinder you and your dreams,sure you can play the slave with a smile on yo face but, BABY this one LIFE YOU wil be liked kinda sorta at a job BUT you will be ADORED for you GUTS AND TENACITY BY MULTITUDES WHO TRULY CARE AND ARE INSPIRED BY YOUR ART ...... IN SIMPLE WORD *$CK JOBS LIVE DREAMS WE WILL SURVIVE YO BOY, KIDGNUZ
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thanks man
WTF???
Hey, I don't have any stories of inspiration, but I always admire people who take risks to pursue their dreams.
Good luck to you.
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Permalink Reply by Madamoiselle De Sade on
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No regrets. You'll live a long time.
DanielaInfinity said:thanks, lady. my instinct is that i will be glad i did this, when i am a little old lady chuckling about the past.
Mlle d. Sade said:Wow, you have guts.
I love how people hate "crazy" decisions. They only hate them because they're too scared to be happier.
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