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... the other Black experience

We've seen 'em;  eharmony, Blackpeoplemeet, okcupid...

 

I think the good ones are great.  I met my last girlfriend on okcupid and we are still cool.

 

There seems to be some stigma like you don't have "game" or your not that fly if you use a site...bullshit, ha.  There can be too much game from some folks on some sites and there are hoards of attractive people on 'em who may want to be more selective than what they meet in regular public.

 

I'm all for 'em.  What are your opinions and experiences?

 

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I gotta tell ya, I support the dating site concept. Get everything up front as far as interests are concerned and see what the person looks like. The risk is pretty much that you could end op on the raw end of an e-deal because from my experience women get real anachronistic when it come to these sites. Most of them want you to pay and. i.e. miss modern independent wants you to finance the whole shebang including you paying for the membership to holler at her. The other thing is miss thing is liable to post a picture of herself 10 years and 50 pounds ago. I'm keeping it real because I know for a fact women do care about looks. I have had plenty of rejections because I was not the body type a woman preferred.  No lie I have come away with a a few meet ups but to be honest I prefer to meet someone out and about. I have had more luck that way.

I hear that & thanks for adding on.

 

One thing I fully agree with you are the phony super-glam shots from years & pounds ago.  That stuff is funny to me I even joked about that on my profile: please be the person in the pic.  A technique I use is to send out decoy:  I put an aiight and somewhat unflattering pic of myself up first.  Check my less-than buff physique and non-Denzelish grill.  If you are interested in this homely bum on the screen, wait til I meet 'em in person.  Pow! Clean up nice don't I?  And still only give the C+ version until we're good & cool.  My girl looked reasonably cute when I saw her photo and knocked me out when we met in person without trying.  I think women should do the same, it would save a lot of disappoinment & awkward silences from either side.

I feel to shy for something like that, but I believe in an Open Source concept of dating!

Salaam

what is that?

..."open source dating' I meant, please explain what that is.  Also I see net dating sites as the perfect tool for shy people (I can be that way at times) in that there are many ways to gauge your interest and approach folks online with less embarassment.

On the real though. I have been thinking about the scamalicious opportunities that online dating provides for the sociopathic personality. How much can you trust a dating situation with a person you really don't know? I was watching an episode of "Grimm" last night and some one of the characters basically kicked it with a guy until she got herself some chicken fingers and her fill of drinks and then bounced. The guy felt owed and scammed. I'm not saying take it to the extent of trying to rape a woman over chicken and beer but most decent people will decline the offer of goods or services if the know they are not feeling the other person. I can see how a person could straight up take advantage of a situation like that.

I still support the dating site paradigm though. Just gotta keep ya guards up.

Yup true.  Though of course dangerous nuts existed and have been a problem waaay before dating sites, ha.   Jack the Ripper didn't post bulletins across Britain: *** Ladies of London!  Single man with affinity for butchery arts seeking woman to for adventures in back alleyways..."***

 

I think they can potentially help screen out possible knuckleheads (male or female) but can be a definite tool for them too.  Falls on the person looking.  With the sites, you can bring in all your folks to examine what someone has posted as a collective jury and maybe screen & search their photo as a possible menace.

 

Just don't send a 'like' note to JdRipr who refuses to post a picture (ooh, so dark & mysterious...)  Yeah, guard ya grill.

Another in the 'pro' column for dating sites is that for me, it keeps me from hollering at women who are already taken.  I come up against this about 30% of the women I try to rap to on the street whether their lying or not.  On a site you at least know they are availiable. 

 

And I get a better idea about what a woman is into and their personality.  We all first speak to someoone for that instant attraction of that they look good.  How many times have you found out someone was totally nuts under the cute exterior?  Too many times in my past.  Sites let you see, oh honey's cute but...she's a religious freak, sleeps with her dog, has a shrine to Elvis in her home, etc.  And helps me keep it moving as opposed to that date where you find out the craziness afterwards and you're out a few bucks and time.

You know what I do not get that from sites. I always have found out afterward the crazy shit. Like "oh by the way I suffer from suicidal thoughts," or "My ex used to let me hit him in the ass and I was hoping you were into that too." To be honest the other thing is form the sites I have dealt with you also gotta pay to talk and most women are not trying to pay. So I am stuck in this situation where this woman is saying all this modern womanist stuff about her expectations in her profile yet still operating within the paradigm of the man being the aggressor. I will not front. The lurking can be kinda fun but I have found more compatible women by just being out and meeting them. The sites do help sort out the extreme uglies though, like open nutjobs, the angries, the druggies, and the meanies.

For real I used Blackpeoplemeet and found someone and got off the site, they charged 10 bucks a month.  We were together for nearly year.  Did my regular meeting on the street and through friends then I got on OKCupid which was free and had better info & profiles.  I had some cool dates then I met someone on there who I still care about a lot and I keep up with her since I moved. 

 

Basically OKCupid works for me because it's free with no real limits, the Facebook model.  I can't speak for the others 'cause the other ones I checked were wack.  I of course holla the old school way but like I said, I've messed up a few times chatting up women who are spoken for.  Just this weekend this cutie in a restaurant in the booth next to me seemed availiable.  Luckily I caught cold feet 'cause her boyfriend must have serious backed up guts, 10 minutes later he sat down with her.  Almost played myself trying to talk to her. 

 

Hey it's all just tools.  One thing sites don't do is instantly give you personality, eventually you have to be yourself when you meet someone whether through a site or on the street.

I personally am on Plenty of Fish right now. It has not been a good experience what so ever. I use to be on Black People Meet but that went no where. Then again I didn't check on it too much so I ended up deleting it.  Plenty of Fish has been a major fail due to the fact that I've been running into a bunch of dudes who say shit like "Are you into white guys?", nigga can I get a "hello, how are you?". I just think it's hella rude to bring race into it out the gate. Just be polite and let's see what happens.

I get a lot of dudes who request to eat my ass. Not kidding....

I've also get hit up by a lot of hermits. It's amazing to me how many dudes just refuse to leave their homes. I don't know what has gotten into my generation but there are a lot of people out there who are just not social at all. They don't to even go out on a proper date. I don't even want to go some place fancy. I just don't understand why we can't meet some place public to sit, maybe over drinks to get to know each other. Nope, all these dudes want you to come to their house. Then when you do they didn't bother shaving, brushing their hair, or putting on matching clothing, or any effort into their appearance what so ever. And maybe I have seen too many horror movies but I just sometimes feel like any dude that pushes for you to come to their home may have a collection of skulls in their basement. IDK. As a young women in today's society you can never be too careful. I don't let dudes come to my house at all.

I may try another site. I thought about looking into some punk or alternative dating sites but I don't know of any good ones. I'm also trying to keep it free. So we shall see.

^^^ try OKCupid, it's free & worked for me.

And yes please be safe, there are many crazies out there.

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