... the other Black experience
Does weight REALLY matter??
So, last night I was just searching around the web like I usually do when I can't sleep and stumbled upon some threads (on other websites) where females asked men "Is 5'5 180lbs too big?" "Do men consider 5'7 190lbs too fat?" "I'm 160lbs, am I thick...do guys like thick girls?".
I'm not going to lie, I'm not skinny by ANY means. I'm thick, but I don't consider myself fat. A lot of guys on these threads were so...so...shallow! I was so angry I had to shut off my laptop.
A. People distribute their weight differently. You can be 5'5 and 160lb and not even look it and then there are some you can definitely tell and it looks unhealthy.
B. The average American women is 5'8 I believe and like 150-160, about a size 12-14. How is that big?!?
C. Short and thick does NOT equal fat.. >.<
Why do we idealize thinness? Is being average size/weight really a turn off? I have a theory..the guys who are the shallowest probably have nothing to offer them selves. I understand that sexual attraction is what draws two people to each other in the first place but there is a fine line between sexual attraction and just wanting a "trophy" girlfriend on your arm. In that case I want a Reggie Bush on my arm (-__-) I have had insecure moments where I dated guys my weight or a little smaller but it was not that big of a deal and those who found me "fat" were just shallow, douche bags who dated girls that wore make 24/7 and got made up for classes like they were going to the club lol I was just too down to Earth I suppose =P.. I could go on and on all day lol.
I would like to hear others opinions... Is weight/size really THAT BIG of a deal when it comes to dating someone? Is it all about arm candy? And would you ever date someone heavier than you (guy or girl)? How much is too much?
Replies to This Discussion
-
Permalink Reply by Mark Clemons on
-
I love me some THICK Women.FUCK SOCIETY!!!!!!!!
-
Permalink Reply by X-D-D-M*9 on
-
I think real men in general don't care that much about actual 'sizes' and weight. But that we look more for 'weight distribution' to paraphrase what you stated, Kia Jay. My thought is that men who get locked into women's clothing sizes might not be that 'manly' at all. These fools are waaay too into women's clothing, nahimean?...
How good a woman looks from bust - waist - hips/posterior(ass) ratio is more important visually for me and most real men I know. We don't give a damn as long as the proportions look good. Short, tall, thick, thin it matters only how a woman's body looks and the posture & confidence in how she displays herself. Everyone has preferences but one thing for sure is a man loves a woman who loves her own body and shows what she has tastefully.
This ain't some simple 'love yourself' hype; it's hard for men too when the world is shoving images of perfection down your throat. We all ain't built like Reggie Bush, ha (and I have maaad respect for that brother; dude is ripped. No player-hate, I congratulate & watch my weight ;> ). But we all can eat healthier & exercise and see what clothing makes us look & feel appealing.
Personally I feel that 80% of women's physiques are attractive to me. There are only 10% who may be too thin and 10% who may be too obese for me. 8 out 10 women out there look good if they appreciate their body and show it.
-
Permalink Reply by LesYpersound on -
Different people have different preferences...
younger guys appear to be more shallow b/c they still give a huge shit what their peers think of them. This goes for guys who are afraid of what their friends think about their preference for rubenesque beauties, bbw, "butterfaces", or the slimmer variety of women. SO, like what you said--the people who found you fat are probably just shallow douche bags who have no sense of their own preferences, their own selves, or just lack the ability to think for themselves.
when it comes to my personal preference, i've always been attracted to slimmer people--even when it comes to buff-ness on guys, I prefer them to be on the slim but cut side. and it's not even a weight thing, it has to do with shapes/svelte body types.
and i'm of a somewhat extreme body type, where I'm pretty damn slim, too skinny for a lot of black guys i've encountered... the ones who are outspoken about how non-conforming i am to traditional black dime-ness are younger, but i've gotten some funny and flattering comments from older gentlemen who obviously don't give a fuck anymore about what everyone else thinks is hot. SO--yeah, srsly there are so many ppl w/ so many different preferences, and in reality ppls' aesthetic tolerance for variety when key factors of personality, timeliness, and compatibility are all spot on.
-
Permalink Reply by Kia Jay on -
see I've talked to guys who were like 145-160 (lowest) and the this past fall I dated a U of M football player for a little while (defense/special teams lmao) so he was like 6'5 332lbs lol but it wasn't gross at all. I found it actually sexier than my previous guys.. I guess it was nice for a change having a guy who will pick me up. Michigan doesn't play around with their work out regiments so he was in great shape for his size, it was ALL muscle. But I meet a guy not to soon after who was about the same weight only like 3 inches shorter and it made a BIG difference.. he didn't look in shape and I knew from how he moved around (slowly/clumsy) sex..lets be honest sex is a factor in this discussion too, we're all grown...sex would have been some what difficult because he had a gut and the other guy didn't. I felt terrible cause he was a great guy but I guess we all have our shallow moments and that was mines =(
-
Permalink Reply by Kia Jay on
-
I agree there is too skinny and too fat but society draws, erases and draws again where these lines are at.. average is the new fat, thick is the new obese and apparently seeing rib cages and clavicles is the new sexy lol but yeah I agree, everyone has their own preferences but i think some ppls preferences need reality checks..
-
-
^^^ See it's as what you see and percieve. Where is the line? Is fat the gut hanging out or a number on the scale? My line is I know when I see it but there's room for most.
Getting to the raw nitty gritty, I don't want a woman whose gut is waaay further out from their body than her breasts and I want the booty to protrude out some. I also don't want a woman whose ribcage I can see from back to front and breasts that disappear when she strecthes her arms. I guess I echo Taradactyl's answer so maybe I'm a "shallow bitch" too, ha. Weird or superfical, I'm being honest.
It's greatly personal as shown by the varied answers. This an interesting and provacative discussion.
-
Permalink Reply by kifaru on -
I am a person who has been rejected for my body and I have had women want me for my body. I've been overweight and I've been super fit. I personally don't think that is shallow for not preferring or liking a particular body type. I'm not mad at someone who doesn't find me attractive regardless of their reason be it because I'm balding, I have nappy hair, that I'm dark skinned or my physique. That's their preference. I don't like women with a lot of rolls. I'm not into thick women at least not what goes for thick around here. I'm not shallow and I'm not a douchebag. I just have a preference. Lots of people think that some of the women I date are ugly because I date date skinned women. I could care less. I find people that I think are beautiful and that feel the same way about me.
-
Permalink Reply by Kia Jay on
-
I believe everyone has their own preferences and the right to them. Some people's preferences are just a little shallow at times lol including my own, I'm not going to lie. I just want others opinions. I wish there was a way to change it because I'm sure that I have passed up some good guys.
-
Permalink Reply by Compound Egret on -
Sure it does. Different people have different thresholds for it depending on culture, who they grew up around, personal preferences, etc. I see great looking "plus size" gals daily. The skinny jeans have enhanced this. I say as long as you're healthy in terms of blood pressure, cholesterol, etc. then go for it, but realize not everyone will feel the same. Something I have seen on these boards and elsewhere. Person who doesn't fit "the archetype" fusses about this, but then posts mad pics of people that fit "the archetype" that they want to get with. The captain of the football team gets the head cheerleader even after high school.
© 2013 Created by Matthew.
