AFROPUNK

... the other Black experience

Was the battle cry of my mother and grandmother in response to my dating white girls. How could I tell them that I was dating white girls because white girls were the onlly ones that would date me?

I think my mother sees me from a different era's eyes. A "nice-looking" guy, that just needs to clean up a bit. Unfortunately the modern era (since 1970) is an era of materialism. Cleaning myself up would require selling myself. It would require studying the latest trends and fashions. It would require me trying to figure out how the most popular mush-mouthed rapper or inarticulate athlete speaks.

I actually have been looking for decades for a pretty Afro-punk girl to come into my life, but whenever I see them they are with white boyfriends. Not that I downgrade that at all. I am just sorry that I didn't get to them first. I have actually married two crazy semi-punk white women over the course of 8 years. Both of them cheated on me. This has pretty-much broken me of dating.

I am a (according to the US govt) middle-class guy. I go to work every-day, have a pension and health-insurance, yet when I look I see the Afro-punk girls with unemployed white guys.

I want to know this: if the opportunity came to you punkettes to date an Afro-punk guy, would you do it?

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Yeah I would but there is a slight issue that I have with Afro-punks dating other Afro-punks:

 

(If I'm wrong somone set me straight and please be gentle, I'm sensitve)

 

In my experience anytime I've tried to date an Afro-punk guy I was never "enough"

example:

 

I don't have enough tattoos and/or piercings in order prove that I'm so "alt"

 

I don't listen to enough obscure bands. (I'm sorry but if they're obscure than how would I know they exist?)

 

and my all time favorite:

I'm a poser because I work for a big corporation and I do nothing at all to rebell against it.

 

I know this isn't true for every AP guy ever lived but it seems like these guys I've met has this mindset therefore making me run into the arms of some white guy whose fascinated by a gothic black chick...

This sounds like another post I did on Afropunk overcompensation. Black people in general are going to overcompensate when they want to do something. I never told anyone they sold out because I realized that a grown-ass man needs a job. I never was hipsterish with music because there were no hipsters when I gave a rat-fuck about music. I started with New Wave in 1979 and incorporated Punk when I saw Uurrgh a Music War in 1980.

Everyone has their search it seems. I was just thinking last night that a black punk male would need a black punk female that he has a culture in common  that they can reject together.

Yeah, I definitely would date an Afro-punk guy but as Felicia said, it would depend on whether the Afro-punk guy likes me.  I also do not look the typical punk-rocker or hipster with tattoos or piercings and I also work for a large organization full-time (benefits and full-time hours is an amazing to have, especially with the current economy). 

You know Outsider I believe thats my issue too.  I dont' look like that and I don't think I'm gonna draw that look.

I really want an Afro Punk Man who is cool with me the way I am.  Dress up or Dress down.  I want to be loved as interesting and surprising as I am to any man and as I am to myself.  Who knows what's out there and who will discover me.

the outsider said:

Yeah, I definitely would date an Afro-punk guy but as Felicia said, it would depend on whether the Afro-punk guy likes me.  I also do not look the typical punk-rocker or hipster with tattoos or piercings and I also work for a large organization full-time (benefits and full-time hours is an amazing to have, especially with the current economy). 
hmmm
I'd for sure date a "afro-punk" guy but now days, i dont know if this is happening in other states but in my neck of the woods the whole "afro-punk" thing is more of a look than a actual lifestyle...Ive talked to so many of these guys and first thing out of their mouths is "I just like the style"

Albert Frankenstein Said:

I am a (according to the US govt) middle-class guy. I go to work every-day, have a pension and health-insurance, yet when I look I see the Afro-punk girls with unemployed white guys.

I want to know this: if the opportunity came to you punkettes to date an Afro-punk guy, would you do it?

I would if I were not already attached. And yes, my boyfriend is white and until recently was unemployed. Make of that what you will. I do not date a guy based on what he can provide for me. I have taken good care of myself. Its more common interests and passions that I am most concerned with.

Like others said, I am not covered in tattoos or full of piercings. And unless I am with my band or going out to a show I might not even look especially goth.

I will say this, a lot of, in fact a majority of black guys just did not understand me regardless of my style so i really didn't go out of my way to seek them out. And my current boyfriend found me: He had a thing for both goth chicks and black women - simply put, i ticked the two boxes and we also both love metal and other stuff so it all worked so.....

I think the problem is that (outside Brooklyn) we are so scattered, that we don't run into each other. At least I HOPE that's what's wrong.

Hey Albert! I Think you are totally right! I also think that the issue you brought up is complex in several different ways. For those of us afropunks out there scattered amongst small town usa, we don't typically have that afropunk culture that can be found in cities like New York with a higher concentration of afropunks. Without a doubt a flagship moment in the afropunk culture was the production of the documentary for which this site is named. In fact one can make the argument that said culture in larger cities is burgeoning at best.

Another facet to your question is an internal conflict that I believe every afropunk has been faced with; the appropiate reaction when faced with an encounter with another afropunk. First off, there is no 'appropriate reaction', what I mean to say is that sometimes I think 'what should I do?'. You know, like when white people get all nervous when they have to shake a black persons hand. One one hand, you might be excited to walk up to this stranger who upon outer appearances seem to share similar style, musical taste and experiences, while they on the other hand might not want to seem stereotypical to their friends by saying hi to the only other black person in the room, which (in some small minded individuals) can be perceived as black people all knowing each other. Then there's also the facet of upbringing. While a lot of the members here share the same ethos, our sexual attraction to each other is still mostly influenced by the media, friends and family. Media, i.e. movies, tv, internet etc. portray far fewer Lejon Witherspoons, Lisa Bonne's and Erika Baddu's so the disparate afropunks peppered across the country are 'programed' to be more attracted to others that didn't necessarily look like us.

Of course people are ulimately attracted to an individual and what type of person they are, but all these factors go into effect to facilitate a situation where one would be interested enough to walk up to someone and go, '...excuse me, I just wanted to say your locks are beautiful. My name's Gerard, what's yours?'.

Wouldn't we be having a different conversation if there was more african american inclusion in alternative lifestyles portrayed in the media?

There's many more layers to peel back on this onion, and the deeper we dive into this onion, the more complex the conversation will be...

If we can continue to get beyond stereotypical "blackness" in the media then we'll have more acceptance of difference. Then more weirdos can come out of the punk closet. Until then I'm afraid I'll be chasing white girls that don't like me until I am dead.

I haven't dated an AP woman in years.

Just pretty much plain old Black women.

True story..... but how did you have black then go back? jk lol! ....and WMDEKOONING, Just pretty much plain old Black women? I get what you mean but your wording a little harsh/insensitive man. Might wanna use more discretion on your next post.

Albert Frankenstein said:

If we can continue to get beyond stereotypical "blackness" in the media then we'll have more acceptance of difference. Then more weirdos can come out of the punk closet. Until then I'm afraid I'll be chasing white girls that don't like me until I am dead.

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