... the other Black experience
Was the battle cry of my mother and grandmother in response to my dating white girls. How could I tell them that I was dating white girls because white girls were the onlly ones that would date me?
I think my mother sees me from a different era's eyes. A "nice-looking" guy, that just needs to clean up a bit. Unfortunately the modern era (since 1970) is an era of materialism. Cleaning myself up would require selling myself. It would require studying the latest trends and fashions. It would require me trying to figure out how the most popular mush-mouthed rapper or inarticulate athlete speaks.
I actually have been looking for decades for a pretty Afro-punk girl to come into my life, but whenever I see them they are with white boyfriends. Not that I downgrade that at all. I am just sorry that I didn't get to them first. I have actually married two crazy semi-punk white women over the course of 8 years. Both of them cheated on me. This has pretty-much broken me of dating.
I am a (according to the US govt) middle-class guy. I go to work every-day, have a pension and health-insurance, yet when I look I see the Afro-punk girls with unemployed white guys.
I want to know this: if the opportunity came to you punkettes to date an Afro-punk guy, would you do it?
Permalink Reply by Rosenda on Funny I should be reading this page again years later.
I see the same phenomenon here, the Afro-Punk dudes are usually with White, Latina, or Asian girls.
But I think I should just accept that. Maybe from those fine brother's perspective, they are ALREADY personalitywise and lifestylewise "outside the box" so why shouldn't they date outside the box too?
Maybe, like this one dude I was in love with madly, he said he'd liked Black girls before, but none of them seemed to like him just as he was.
Maybe that's the case with some of those AfroPunk men out here.
But again I ask, where do that leave us AfroPunk women who want an AfroPunk man who actually LIKE and LOVE those guys?
Perhaps, given my age bracket, and less than perfect Halle Berry looks, I ought to just give up on that dream, and hope for a normal Brother who likes a weird Sister like me.
I am in limbo, but really all I can do is wait and see what happens. I'm also old-fashioned and prefer a man to make the first move to speak to me and ask me out on a date, too. So that makes me a three striker Oddball!
Permalink Reply by Rosenda on LMBAO at your comment, WMDeKooning. Hell, I'd date a Plain Old Black Man too but they seem to find me a bit weird or something. Not sure. We'll see.
wmdekooning said:
I haven't dated an AP woman in years.
Just pretty much plain old Black women.
Permalink Reply by AbuelitaTalula27 on My name is Mewe I'm a supa fly girl. I'll do anything to rock you world. I fly like a butterfly sting like a bee... and that's why they call me Mimi.
Go Mimi, go mimi.... go miiiiiii-mi!
Permalink Reply by kifaru on Where you been?
AbuelitaTalula27 said:
My name is Mewe I'm a supa fly girl. I'll do anything to rock you world. I fly like a butterfly sting like a bee... and that's why they call me Mimi.
Go Mimi, go mimi.... go miiiiiii-mi!
Permalink Reply by lyfenlyn on When I see/ come across afropunk men they are obsessed with anything BUT black women. And because I am not mowhawked, dredded, pierced and tattooed from head to toe they can't really see themselves in me in an obvious way. I feel that I have to put on a costume in order to get a second look but that isn't my thing. I am an adult (over 40) so walking around like one of the girls in the featured tattoos section seems like a ship thats already sailed. When I see them I swoon, but I can never get any play.
=c(
Permalink Reply by Corey Smith on I can't speak to other brothers cases but in mine I can honestly say that I'd love nothing more than to date a black girl who would go to punk shows with me, listen to the sonic youth with me, or play in a band with me. However more often than not with the black girls in my immediate environment this simply is not the case.
At the end of the day I had to make a decision. I decided that dating someone who liked what i liked and would enjoy the activities I was into was more important than staying within my race.
I don't get mad when I see other "alt black people" dating outside of their race because I realize they must have come to the same conclusion at some point. I'm happy for them.
If the stars did align and I met an alt-black girl who liked what I liked and I got a long with I'd be immensely happy.
A girl that I wouldn't get any flak for at home with and likes daydream nation? the stuff of dreams.
Permalink Reply by Patrick Thunderbreath Chappelle on The same applies to headbangers, or any of us into various forms of Rock (Metal, Punk, Thrash, Industrial, etc.). I like women, period. Don't care about ethnicity. However, I do have a preference for Black women. The problem as you point out, is that it seems as if all the Black women who are into Rock, Punk, etc. prefer Caucasian males.
Now I just started "dating" one who listens to 90's Rock (all basic radio stuff), she doesn't care for my more extreme tastes. Were it not for other factors barring us from having a meaningful relationship, I wouldn't have a problem with her choice in music, lack of piercings or tats (I don't have any tats, and I removed all but one of my piercings a long time ago). Though I've only been in one relationship my whole life, it seems to me that getting along is the only thing that matters. My father was from the south and grew up on Jazz, my mom was from the Caribbean and was raised on Calypso. For a long time their relationship worked, but the demise of their relationship had nothing to do with the music they listened to. The heart wants what the heart wants.
By the way, Felicia makes a very, very valid point herself where she says for some of us, it's never "enough".
Permalink Reply by SlutyShop on Totally, but here in France it's hard to find a black guy like this...REALLY REALLY HARD!! I really want to come to the AP fest, to meet some...
Permalink Reply by SlutyShop on EXACTLY!!
Corey Smith said:
I can't speak to other brothers cases but in mine I can honestly say that I'd love nothing more than to date a black girl who would go to punk shows with me, listen to the sonic youth with me, or play in a band with me. However more often than not with the black girls in my immediate environment this simply is not the case.
At the end of the day I had to make a decision. I decided that dating someone who liked what i liked and would enjoy the activities I was into was more important than staying within my race.
I don't get mad when I see other "alt black people" dating outside of their race because I realize they must have come to the same conclusion at some point. I'm happy for them.
If the stars did align and I met an alt-black girl who liked what I liked and I got a long with I'd be immensely happy.
A girl that I wouldn't get any flak for at home with and likes daydream nation? the stuff of dreams.
Permalink Reply by Jamaal E. on EVERY black Punk or alt girl I have ever met has straight up told me she doesn't date black guys. I have heard a lot of them say they don't like black guys in general like as individuals period. :/
Permalink Reply by Jamaal E. on My exact situation my friend :/ except I have never been one for staying in my race. I was always raised to honor my culture and ethnic make up but not to let what makes me me divide me form others that would love me. So I've always date both in my race and outside my race. It's all about the person and who matches with you and treats you correctly and that's not always going to be your race. I've never been able to date a alt black girl because never found one who dated black guys. But I'm open to dating whoever. I think it's a shame though. I never get upset when I see mixed alt couples either or none alt for that matter.
Corey Smith said:
I can't speak to other brothers cases but in mine I can honestly say that I'd love nothing more than to date a black girl who would go to punk shows with me, listen to the sonic youth with me, or play in a band with me. However more often than not with the black girls in my immediate environment this simply is not the case.
At the end of the day I had to make a decision. I decided that dating someone who liked what i liked and would enjoy the activities I was into was more important than staying within my race.
I don't get mad when I see other "alt black people" dating outside of their race because I realize they must have come to the same conclusion at some point. I'm happy for them.
If the stars did align and I met an alt-black girl who liked what I liked and I got a long with I'd be immensely happy.
A girl that I wouldn't get any flak for at home with and likes daydream nation? the stuff of dreams.
Permalink Reply by Jamaal E. on Completely agree. It's the same across the board. All of the black alt girls I have met only date asian or white. And for the guy like me who doesn't typically dress like the media portrays punks or metal heads etc. I'm not looked at in that light originally. It isn't until they see who I hang around or or me in a Kittie/black flag/Rancid shirt or something that they're like "Wait you Know who Kittie is" and I'm like Yeah Fallons actually a friend of mine. I like spikes, studded belts, tattoo's, etc. But I don't have tattoos, I have one piercing, I own studded belts and I'm making a "Punk Bomber jacket" with band names etc on it. But That's not something I'd wear every day, I wouldn't wear anything everyday. For me to Walk out the house looking like Tim Armstrong everyday would be playing a roll and wearing a uniform. That's pretending, that is everything I am against. Punk or none punk get to know me as a person not how I look. Punk isn't defined by a look. Tsunami bomb doesn't look like Rancid, rancid doesn't look like the clash, he clash doesn't look like Generation x, Gen x doesn't look like the distillers, Distillers don't look like Drop Kick Murphys. If they don't recognize I'm kool initially they will eventually, if not their loss. Things happen for a reason.
Patrick Thunderbreath Chappelle said:
The same applies to headbangers, or any of us into various forms of Rock (Metal, Punk, Thrash, Industrial, etc.). I like women, period. Don't care about ethnicity. However, I do have a preference for Black women. The problem as you point out, is that it seems as if all the Black women who are into Rock, Punk, etc. prefer Caucasian males.
Now I just started "dating" one who listens to 90's Rock (all basic radio stuff), she doesn't care for my more extreme tastes. Were it not for other factors barring us from having a meaningful relationship, I wouldn't have a problem with her choice in music, lack of piercings or tats (I don't have any tats, and I removed all but one of my piercings a long time ago). Though I've only been in one relationship my whole life, it seems to me that getting along is the only thing that matters. My father was from the south and grew up on Jazz, my mom was from the Caribbean and was raised on Calypso. For a long time their relationship worked, but the demise of their relationship had nothing to do with the music they listened to. The heart wants what the heart wants.
By the way, Felicia makes a very, very valid point herself where she says for some of us, it's never "enough".
© 2013 Created by Matthew.
|
