"Find yourself a black girl, we come in all colors."

Was the battle cry of my mother and grandmother in response to my dating white girls. How could I tell them that I was dating white girls because white girls were the onlly ones that would date me?

I think my mother sees me from a different era's eyes. A "nice-looking" guy, that just needs to clean up a bit. Unfortunately the modern era (since 1970) is an era of materialism. Cleaning myself up would require selling myself. It would require studying the latest trends and fashions. It would require me trying to figure out how the most popular mush-mouthed rapper or inarticulate athlete speaks.

I actually have been looking for decades for a pretty Afro-punk girl to come into my life, but whenever I see them they are with white boyfriends. Not that I downgrade that at all. I am just sorry that I didn't get to them first. I have actually married two crazy semi-punk white women over the course of 8 years. Both of them cheated on me. This has pretty-much broken me of dating.

I am a (according to the US govt) middle-class guy. I go to work every-day, have a pension and health-insurance, yet when I look I see the Afro-punk girls with unemployed white guys.

I want to know this: if the opportunity came to you punkettes to date an Afro-punk guy, would you do it?

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Permalink Reply by Jamaal E. on October 20, 2012 at 4:41pm

There is no Punk Scene in Memphis either. I've been here years and never been able to meet any Hardly anyone ever comes here on tour either except for a mixed gene festival we have each year in may. I did a search n here and the list was like 4 people long. So I know how you feel. I can't wait to leave this place.

SlutyShop said:

Totally, but here in France it's hard to find a black guy like this...REALLY REALLY HARD!! I really want to come to the AP fest, to meet some...

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Permalink Reply by Jamaal E. on October 20, 2012 at 4:44pm

Very true.

Jordana LeSesne said:

Lol, I am in Seattle. I have a few friends you might be into. And lol at the ignorant woman who used the term "Oreo" I used to get called that back in like high school, actually "Oreo Fortune Cookie" due to my love of a lot of Asian music and culture in addition to punk, metal, goth, etc.

That proves a lot of people like her just never grow up!

Major Le'Antwon Grace said:

i live in the Wash state. Man iw love black women, but i tend to date more white women cause my personality and the personality of the girls im into. It be cool if i could find a black woman whos into nerdiness and punk like i am i instead of jay z and lil wayne (not that theyre bad)

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Permalink Reply by Jamaal E. on October 20, 2012 at 4:49pm

Even worse here in memphis I'been here since the end of 99 and I've only met one and we didn't particularly get along and and even if we did she dated white exclusively. There is hardly anyone on this site from memphis either.

Powter Whyte said:

I was honestly shocked to see ANY Seattle heads on this site. I've was born here and have spent at least half of my life here and I almost never see Black folk who are into alternative stuff unless it's at some kind of event. Then it's like they vanish into the forest again right after. LOL!! The last time I saw any obviously alternative Black folk here was at the Erotic Arts Halloween ball. Then it was just like what's been posted here, sistas with White dudes or bro's with White women. I think my homegirl and I were the only black couple in the building and there had to be 3,500+ there.

PW

Jordana LeSesne said:

Lol, I am in Seattle. I have a few friends you might be into. And lol at the ignorant woman who used the term "Oreo" I used to get called that back in like high school, actually "Oreo Fortune Cookie" due to my love of a lot of Asian music and culture in addition to punk, metal, goth, etc.

That proves a lot of people like her just never grow up!

Major Le'Antwon Grace said:

i live in the Wash state. Man iw love black women, but i tend to date more white women cause my personality and the personality of the girls im into. It be cool if i could find a black woman whos into nerdiness and punk like i am i instead of jay z and lil wayne (not that theyre bad)

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Permalink Reply by Jamaal E. on October 20, 2012 at 4:54pm

Same experience with me and black alt girls. I've heard some of the most derogatory racist stuff from them. "go rob a corner store" type stuff. I was really shock especially since I like in a state where the kkk still have rally's at cityhall from time to time.

Mark Clemons said:

I only date sistas I dont give a FUCK if they dont like the shit Im into,I found out there were other thing I had in common with them besides music and I let them know that HELL YEAH I gonna listen to what I want whether they like it or not.There are other genres of music we both listen to as well.I never dated a white girl but I've hung out with plenty of them back in high school.Everybody has always expected me to be with white girls most of my life! Once upon a time sistas that I would meet that liked the shit I was into would treat me like I was that Nigger they saw on the news in handcuffs or wouldn't even say 1 WORD to me.

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Permalink Reply by Jamaal E. on October 20, 2012 at 5:04pm

I feel you on this I also met a lot of "militant afro punks " who i just call racist assholes who think they are better than other races and use racial slurs and think EVERYTHING is racist or has a racial under tone. I'm sorry, but I've experienced real racism ok. I watched a story on the local news a couple of weeks ago where 5 white kids tried hanging a black kid from a noose in the locker room. They got no jail time and a short suspension. The principle said it was just horse play. That's what I deal wth in my life spare me the "the cracka-ass cracka only gave me two sweet and sour sauce for my chicken mc nuggets. He gave they honky in front of me 3. That's fucking racist I'm gonna report you to the BBB we gonna protest." Please. -_- Or wanna come down on me because I hang out with people out side my race. I'm not racist I like all people. This is why I don't get along with most "afrocentric people"

Felicia said:

Yeah I would but there is a slight issue that I have with Afro-punks dating other Afro-punks:

(If I'm wrong somone set me straight and please be gentle, I'm sensitve)

In my experience anytime I've tried to date an Afro-punk guy I was never "enough"

example:

I don't have enough tattoos and/or piercings in order prove that I'm so "alt"

I don't listen to enough obscure bands. (I'm sorry but if they're obscure than how would I know they exist?)

and my all time favorite:

I'm a poser because I work for a big corporation and I do nothing at all to rebell against it.

I know this isn't true for every AP guy ever lived but it seems like these guys I've met has this mindset therefore making me run into the arms of some white guy whose fascinated by a gothic black chick...

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Permalink Reply by Jamaal E. on October 20, 2012 at 5:05pm

I like how you worded that.

Albert Frankenstein said:

This sounds like another post I did on Afropunk overcompensation. Black people in general are going to overcompensate when they want to do something. I never told anyone they sold out because I realized that a grown-ass man needs a job. I never was hipsterish with music because there were no hipsters when I gave a rat-fuck about music. I started with New Wave in 1979 and incorporated Punk when I saw Uurrgh a Music War in 1980.

Everyone has their search it seems. I was just thinking last night that a black punk male would need a black punk female that he has a culture in common that they can reject together.

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Permalink Reply by Jamaal E. on October 20, 2012 at 5:10pm

Perfect comment.

The Brutal Gerard said:

Hey Albert! I Think you are totally right! I also think that the issue you brought up is complex in several different ways. For those of us afropunks out there scattered amongst small town usa, we don't typically have that afropunk culture that can be found in cities like New York with a higher concentration of afropunks. Without a doubt a flagship moment in the afropunk culture was the production of the documentary for which this site is named. In fact one can make the argument that said culture in larger cities is burgeoning at best.

Another facet to your question is an internal conflict that I believe every afropunk has been faced with; the appropiate reaction when faced with an encounter with another afropunk. First off, there is no 'appropriate reaction', what I mean to say is that sometimes I think 'what should I do?'. You know, like when white people get all nervous when they have to shake a black persons hand. One one hand, you might be excited to walk up to this stranger who upon outer appearances seem to share similar style, musical taste and experiences, while they on the other hand might not want to seem stereotypical to their friends by saying hi to the only other black person in the room, which (in some small minded individuals) can be perceived as black people all knowing each other. Then there's also the facet of upbringing. While a lot of the members here share the same ethos, our sexual attraction to each other is still mostly influenced by the media, friends and family. Media, i.e. movies, tv, internet etc. portray far fewer Lejon Witherspoons, Lisa Bonne's and Erika Baddu's so the disparate afropunks peppered across the country are 'programed' to be more attracted to others that didn't necessarily look like us.

Of course people are ulimately attracted to an individual and what type of person they are, but all these factors go into effect to facilitate a situation where one would be interested enough to walk up to someone and go, '...excuse me, I just wanted to say your locks are beautiful. My name's Gerard, what's yours?'.

Wouldn't we be having a different conversation if there was more african american inclusion in alternative lifestyles portrayed in the media?

There's many more layers to peel back on this onion, and the deeper we dive into this onion, the more complex the conversation will be...

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Permalink Reply by Gullah*Gotham*Glitter on October 28, 2012 at 2:42pm

HELLS YEAH!!! I have been looking for the chocolate tattooed cutie of my dreams. I am not going to give up until I find him. Sure I've met some but things just didn't happen. In fact I met this one guy but we live too far away from each other and we both have crazy work schedules. I feel you though, when I was a teen the place that I use to live it was very slim pickings. I wasn't attracted to the white washed Black Guys who seemed to be obsessed with white women but all the other Black Males either only wanted to be friends or didn't give me the time of day what so ever. To the outside, it looked as though I only dated White Guys but the truth of the matter was those where the only dudes that talked to me because I was so "different". As I got older and moved to different locations, I've met more open minded Black Men to date. I still have never really dated a Black dude who was the more Afro-Punk type. I have banged a few but it always comes to a racial issue. The AP type Black males I have slept with turned to only be a "in and out" because we just weren't on the same page in regards to racial issues. A lot of them that I have met are way too into White Chicks and will defend them to the death. This one dude and I got into an argument when I said that I feel like everyone is racist to some degree. Besides that I thought he was crazy for joining the Marine Corps because this white chick wanted him to. She ended up fucking his best friend (a white guy) while he was in basic training. I honestly don't like being with Black Men who date a lot of White Women. I just really don't like dealing with people who have all sorts of racial identity issues. It gets exhausting. I've been trying to get over that, I gave this one guy a chance and it actually worked out. The only reason why we aren't together is because we are stationed in different parts of the country. He said he use to believe that "white is right" (for the lack of a better term) and that a lot of African American females where ghetto (he's Nigeran) but as he grew older he learned that he can't just turn his back on his race. Long story short, If I could find a APer guy without racial identity issues it would be on and poppin' =)

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Permalink Reply by LeStrange on December 3, 2012 at 2:49am

Honest opinion here! I am attracted to black men and I LOVE nerdy looking black men. The ones with their pants are sort of high watered, skinny, glasses, dorky looking etc. They are unique and HOT. But I just can't imagine myself in a relationship or married to a black guy. I used to date them when I was in Jr.High and High school. I don't know why. I guess it's like another poster said he dates what his personality and interests would suit with better. I look at it like this if I am meant to date or marry a black man then it will happen. I don't know who I am meant to be with. Probably nobody. I don't know.