I was wondering something. A few days ago I was on the train in the evening. It was rush hour and the train was crowded. A young girl sat across the aisle from me facing me. She looked mixed with something. She had sort of long wavy hair that she had dyed blond. A black boy around her age walked back and forth on the train peeking at her. He walks up to her and asks if her hair is real. She says yes, she takes out his phone and demands her phone number. She declines.
Is it that simple?
I havent relaxed my hair in a decade, and I stopped weaving my hair about 5 years ago because of the damage it was doing. I am trying to regrow hair and repair it. So I wear it braided under wigs. I like the versatility of wigs. But sometimes I feel under attack by men because I dont a.) wear natural hair and b,) because the hair I wear isnt mine. I also have extremely sensitive skin and the oils I would use in my hair would cause my face to break out. Since switching to false hair the skin has cleared up considerably.
I dream of an AP guy, but it seems like because of my hair choices Ill be met with nothing but judgement. Or mistaken for one of those hood girls that they so avoid like the plague. (even though Im probably wearing a Ramones, or CBGB shirt) I could get a natural looking wig, and look like Kelis did back in the day but wouldnt that be a stunt? The goal is to grow my own hair back so I can rock a big old fuzzy natchal. But its not there yet. I flirted with getting silky dreads. But the price and upkeep is sort of back breaking, way more than what I deal with now. I also feared that if I had the dreads Id get a bunch of attention from APs and when I took them out, the attention would stop.
I also feel like if I dont dress like earth mama AP guys wont notice me either. I think its stupid to dress that way just to get the attention of a particular kind og f man. I am who I am, I might rock the adidas and beastie boys tee one day, and the pencil skirt and blouse with cute sandals the next. My style changes all the time. Im not just one note. But sometimes I think hmmmmmmm. Does this really matter?