an this plzzzhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LBM89valaBI
... the other Black experience
Is rejection the new romance?
A couple of months ago I saw the movie, 500 Days of Summer. From the previews it seems like a romantic comedy, but when you see it it's far from that. Mostly about the man character being rejected by Summer and not being able to process his emotions.
Last night I watched the movie Good Dick. When this film came out and interviews were done, the cast basically said it was about what the title said. But it's also far from that. The main character stalks a shut in woman and forces his way into her life. She doesn't want him, but he is obsessed with changing her.
Even with films like Medicine for Melancholy where the two leads are inimate but can't seem to get on the same page. We watch their dysfunction expecting the outcome to be happy. Not exactly.
So I see this trend in pulling away, and rejecting people. I assumed the writers were just writing about their experiences (as is made clear with 500 Days) but is the new 'He's just not that into you' the new norm?
Is romance passe' ? Or is it much more affirming to watch people struggling with rejection so we don't feel like such losers?
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Madamoiselle De Sade on -
Um. Seems to me like more male fantasy. More "Urkel" syndrome. Bend the object of your affections to your will. It's kinda selfish.
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Permalink Reply by Q.A.Bradford on -
Maybe its challenging the viewers and resultantly makes us ask the question, "Is romance as simple as it was portrayed in the past?" or "Do we have to self-assess ourselves equally as much as we asses our love interests?"
I think it rises good questions that are quite relevant in the USA in an age of challenging the religious marriage monolith. We're in an age where the social motivation for love is quite mechanical and obvious, but the internal motivation -- the individual one -- is being assessed as people choose sides in this battle for the future of American society.
Reciprocation is the golden rule... but even that takes time in any relationship.
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Permalink Reply by LesYpersound on -
yeah so much wrong w/ the written premise of good dick--like when you see it it seems really odd too, but when you try and tell other ppl what good dick is about it seems like a slasher movie or something. lmao.
i think this topic in films has been around though... esp a kind of complicated romance.
wuthering heights to east of eden to whatever else...
:shrugs:
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Permalink Reply by Golem_3 on -
well, suffice to say the multi-plex wont be showing any Barbara Streisand or Fred Austere movies, but that writer (behind "The Notebook" and "Dear John") seems to be getting a lot of acclaim. This is a question I don't have a clear answer to.
I'm not sure who said it, but I heard this quote, something like- "the only real romance... is a love un-fulfilled."
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Permalink Reply by LesYpersound on
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plus i doubt anything will ever really live up to that hollywood ideal of "romance!!"
which reminds me: Wim Wender's Paris, Texas ... is all about that type of FAILED romance except it's years later and with existing kids involved. really highlights that for some folks that IDEA of love and the other person is really an f'd up way to be in a relationship and it is, ultimately, unsustainable despite the objectified person in the relationship being in love w/ the person w/ the unrealistic ideals in their head. It's a really interesting form of love and rejection.
OH... and nevermind Shakespear, right? lol. rejection, tragedy, inversion of romance... etc. even the greeks did it, right?
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Permalink Reply by lyfenlyn on -
Both of those movies the premise existed because the main characters barely knew eachother and were in love with an ideal they had in their heads, which is what I think (society) at large encourages people to do non verbally--and therefore we have marriages that don't work cuz we are always looking for this ideal we built in our heads that doesn't exist rather than learning to love what is actually in front of us. I guess in that context if it goes unfullfilled then yeah...I guess theres your fucking romance.
Golem_3 said:well, suffice to say the multi-plex wont be showing any Barbara Streisand or Fred Austere movies, but that writer (behind "The Notebook" and "Dear John") seems to be getting a lot of acclaim. This is a question I don't have a clear answer to.
I'm not sure who said it, but I heard this quote, something like- "the only real romance... is a love un-fulfilled."
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Permalink Reply by lyfenlyn on
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with all the sick fantasies rolling around as the norm how is anyone ever to get a handle on what's real and tangible?
LesYpersound said:plus i doubt anything will ever really live up to that hollywood ideal of "romance!!"
which reminds me: Wim Wender's Paris, Texas ... is all about that type of FAILED romance except it's years later and with existing kids involved. really highlights that for some folks that IDEA of love and the other person is really an f'd up way to be in a relationship and it is, ultimately, unsustainable despite the objectified person in the relationship being in love w/ the person w/ the unrealistic ideals in their head. It's a really interesting form of love and rejection.
OH... and nevermind Shakespear, right? lol. rejection, tragedy, inversion of romance... etc. even the greeks did it, right?
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Permalink Reply by Q.A.Bradford on
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Arranged marriages are for practicality... but they're hard to come by in the USA... cause most of our parents did it for romance.
lyfenlyn said:with all the sick fantasies rolling around as the norm how is anyone ever to get a handle on what's real and tangible?
LesYpersound said:plus i doubt anything will ever really live up to that hollywood ideal of "romance!!"
which reminds me: Wim Wender's Paris, Texas ... is all about that type of FAILED romance except it's years later and with existing kids involved. really highlights that for some folks that IDEA of love and the other person is really an f'd up way to be in a relationship and it is, ultimately, unsustainable despite the objectified person in the relationship being in love w/ the person w/ the unrealistic ideals in their head. It's a really interesting form of love and rejection.
OH... and nevermind Shakespear, right? lol. rejection, tragedy, inversion of romance... etc. even the greeks did it, right?
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Permalink Reply by Madamoiselle De Sade on
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Or you know. ...just someone they liked being around.
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Permalink Reply by LesYpersound on
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Eh to get you some insight into my weird little part of the world... I know I think two ppl, one who is a very, very close friend who is basically going to be in an arranged marriage and it's all practical and with the belief that love will soon follow. I don't doubt this, but it's fairly common w/ folks who are very religious (yes including christians)...
I think most folk have the idea of FALLING in love... like love at first sight and the working relationship coming naturally or something. Animal magnetism. Lust, desire, longing forever and ever, etc.
Maybe this trend you are picking out is just a round of bursting ppl's bubbles. Rejecting idealism...etc.
Except when it comes to love, I kind of like Milan Kundera's The Unbearable Lightness of Being... it has that completely irrational kind of love that "just happened" and neither one of them can explain when keeps them together--especially Tomas. It's a thinking person's insight into the love thing. Very cool book. It has a whole lot of rejection and confusion in it too. :] And his conception of love, at least for Tomas' wife is really about being ready to love and making it work--but w/ Tomas it's hard to judge... haha, it was just the right time, maybe? But Kundera and his characters never really accept the idea that it's fate or some b.s..
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Permalink Reply by Q.A.Bradford on
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its interesting... AND noted. Yeah... if my dad had stayed in the NOI he would have had an arranged marriage, but he fled. Thanks to that, here I am. But I don't know, in this political world we live in being on the winning team matters a lot. i have to find one or make my own.
If I went for the typical random "love at first sight" principle, I'd probably be another gay dude looking to get married for some high-fidelity "true-love" kind of thing. But since I do think its a political and social agreement, I could handle an arranged marriage quite easily too because I understand its ramifications (though my high libido may get annoying to her). I'd rather believe in the mechanical ladder and move that idealistic passion to the region of family, work or friendships.
LesYpersound said:Eh to get you some insight into my weird little part of the world... I know I think two ppl, one who is a very, very close friend who is basically going to be in an arranged marriage and it's all practical and with the belief that love will soon follow. I don't doubt this, but it's fairly common w/ folks who are very religious (yes including christians)...
I think most folk have the idea of FALLING in love... like love at first sight and the working relationship coming naturally or something. Animal magnetism. Lust, desire, longing forever and ever, etc.
Maybe this trend you are picking out is just a round of bursting ppl's bubbles. Rejecting idealism...etc.
Except when it comes to love, I kind of like Milan Kundera's The Unbearable Lightness of Being... it has that completely irrational kind of love that "just happened" and neither one of them can explain when keeps them together--especially Tomas. It's a thinking person's insight into the love thing. Very cool book. It has a whole lot of rejection and confusion in it too. :] And his conception of love, at least for Tomas' wife is really about being ready to love and making it work--but w/ Tomas it's hard to judge... haha, it was just the right time, maybe? But Kundera and his characters never really accept the idea that it's fate or some b.s..
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