Loosing Direction?

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Permalink Reply by LesYpersound on January 7, 2010 at 7:52pm

why are you posting these topics in this sub-board--this sub-board is about the new msgboard/website?

but it's great that you have a friend like Kendrick and you've got your dreams. :]

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Permalink Reply by Stephanie Huskey on January 8, 2010 at 9:22am

Im new here, dont know where else i would post it? so tell me where i should post discussions like this one at?

LesYpersound said:

why are you posting these topics in this sub-board--this sub-board is about the new msgboard/website?

but it's great that you have a friend like Kendrick and you've got your dreams. :]

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Permalink Reply by LesYpersound on January 8, 2010 at 1:04pm

Health and lifestyle : http://afropunk.ning.com/forum/categories/health-and-lifestyle/list... ?

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Permalink Reply by Stephanie Huskey on January 8, 2010 at 1:08pm

Thanks..:)

LesYpersound said:

Health and lifestyle : http://afropunk.ning.com/forum/categories/health-and-lifestyle/list... ?

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Permalink Reply by Madamoiselle De Sade on February 1, 2010 at 7:14am

I've lost direction. Partly because of debt and partly because of depression. Those things are a little bit related but not in the way you'd think. I'm questioning going to school for English because that is not a good investment. If I'm going to waste time in a 4 year traditional schooling system against my wishes (alongside working a job I hate to get through something else I hate makes for one unhappy camper) I'd rather do it for something that will turn into $$ down the road to make up for my suffering.

So, I might go into Health in Fitness because I don't want to waste time at a 4 year doing shit I was burnt out on years ago. But I have more debt than $3,000 so I was thinking about forgoing schooling until I pay that off and doing an apprenticeship in massage therapy, which is the only vocational training I have, but that also costs a lot of money, just for apprenticeship. But it's the only thing that doesn't drive me crazy with disgust so I figure that health field is a good place to start because fuck english literature it's a waste of time.

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Permalink Reply by Rosenda on February 1, 2010 at 7:02pm

I feel I lost direction mainly because I gone through major life changes, more than one, simultaneously and it will take me a while to resolve and learn from them. I have to change every of these elements and at the same time how I see everything and everyone has changed. All at the same time. Most of this shit I have to let happen and learn from if it is not in my control to change it right now or change it at all. In my case.....I read a great article on http://www.menstruation.com.au and it's possible that my INTENSIFIED reaction and feelings to everything right now is also to peri-menopause, which is supposed to be the emotional aspect of menopause that women are supposed to feel before any physical symptoms occur. So i got a lot of issue all at the same time. And it's also hard to focus because there is heavy unemployment out here and I hear about community services cuts and all that every week out here for the past year. All this emotionally tough shit is very very draining on anyone, and if its hard on me it's worse for a lot of other people who ain't got no job or prospects. A lot of mine is personal and internal.................you're right about friends who motivate you. I only have a few people like that I hear from now and then but it means everything to me right now. The other issue for me is the way I need friendship seems to have changed completely in the past 8 years, it's just that NOW is when I truly REALIZE it. I let those friendship go and fade off, some due to others' life changes and some to just boredom, we just didn't get along as we did when we were younger years ago. We all just grew in different directions. VERY VERY few have withstood all that and I only am in contact with them every once in a blue moom. I am convinced once I am lived through out this "funk" as it were, I'll be better off for it and stronger because it. I honestly find that I'm crying and smiling through alot of shit right now. The balance has to return and I know it will eventually. But it's hard road to go alone and I'm doing my best as my life lives.

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Permalink Reply by Cindy on February 11, 2010 at 1:35pm

I just have this restless energy all the time. I'm in school and I work and that seems to be it. I just feel like life is happening and I'm waiting for something to happen. As I'm waiting i'm not that enthusiastic about the things i do now. My job is for money so more or no less and even when i want to do fun thing i feel like its constantly cock blocking me. Responsibility and all that crap. Im not particularly fond of fueling the consumer machine that is retail. School is eh (im a commuter so I just pretty much go for classes then I leave) def not what i was expecting. I feel let down and I'm studying to be a social worker. But I just feel like a blip in the greater scheme of things the conditions and capacity for human suffering and just life's crap just seem to get me down / depress me most of the time. What's the point.. for the most part I just try to put one foot in front of the other I guess. On top of that I feel like i bitch too much, things could be worse at least I have a roof over my head, a job, and im able to attend school. Ugh well as a sidenote: Hold on to those dreams my dear Mr. Hughes spoke the gospel when he preached about a dream deferred. They give us purpose and light. My only dream is to truly find my niche in the world, be able to support myself, and that career in the future gives me wiggle room to work to live not to live to work. That Biggie and Tupac song is constantly circling in my mind "am i dying to live or am i just living to die.."

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Permalink Reply by Madamoiselle De Sade on February 12, 2010 at 5:53pm

I feel like this. Restless energy is the most depressing thing I've ever felt. To be motivated/inspired for the first time as a "young adult" and not have anywhere to put it really kills me and makes me wonder about things and not in a good way.

i should have followed my first instinct and gone to clown school.

Cindy said:

I just have this restless energy all the time. I'm in school and I work and that seems to be it. I just feel like life is happening and I'm waiting for something to happen. As I'm waiting i'm not that enthusiastic about the things i do now. My job is for money so more or no less and even when i want to do fun thing i feel like its constantly cock blocking me. Responsibility and all that crap. Im not particularly fond of fueling the consumer machine that is retail. School is eh (im a commuter so I just pretty much go for classes then I leave) def not what i was expecting. I feel let down and I'm studying to be a social worker. But I just feel like a blip in the greater scheme of things the conditions and capacity for human suffering and just life's crap just seem to get me down / depress me most of the time. What's the point.. for the most part I just try to put one foot in front of the other I guess. On top of that I feel like i bitch too much, things could be worse at least I have a roof over my head, a job, and im able to attend school. Ugh well as a sidenote: Hold on to those dreams my dear Mr. Hughes spoke the gospel when he preached about a dream deferred. They give us purpose and light. My only dream is to truly find my niche in the world, be able to support myself, and that career in the future gives me wiggle room to work to live not to live to work. That Biggie and Tupac song is constantly circling in my mind "am i dying to live or am i just living to die.."

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Permalink Reply by Rosenda on February 12, 2010 at 6:31pm

Direction isn't the problem now I think: it's motivation to action. And there are so many things all at the same time I want to do it's overwhelming emotionally and then I get nothing done. Maneuvering through this right now, I am trying to simplify my basic life first of mundane and practical at home things. I feel I have to start there to clear my mind. Part of that practical stuff I think is exercise, it might help a lot of emotional trouble I cannot solve right now that is out of my immediate control. But one MUST make a FIRST step, right? I've made one or two and I must make the next two or three. Maybe that's what's needed to GO in a direction and actually for me to finish something.

There is one of me and I have four things to accomplish, so I have to go one way first, right. What trips me up is my eyes and mind see all four things at once and it excites and scares and exhaust and distracts me all at the same time.
Talking about it and writing about it is good temporarily but I am upset that all I'm doing is complaining about what hurts.
That ain't practical but the moving is not there yet. Kicking start is what I need to do for myself. Grrr. Gotta ride the lazy sad wave until it's over with. Cause I know it has to be and will be over. Grrrr. Let me listen to some music and be indulgent in the meantime.

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Permalink Reply by Tara (Rebel to the Madness) on March 31, 2011 at 3:13pm

What I have realized with my restless as well as unmotivated thoughts especially looking to my past history is I felt I HAD to know right away what I wanted to do in anything in my life. I had to know why I was interested in someone and control that situation, as well as school and want career I could get into. Others in my life made it seem like it is easy to arrive at these things in life but it is not.

It takes patience and silence, writing down dreams and/or goals (short to large; because you can), being confused or stuck, listening to yourself and your intuition, knowing what works for you at the moment (not what someone else has told you) or not knowing, in control and not in control, and many more.

I had always noticed others especially celebrities I admire who knew exactly what they wanted to do as a career and they ENJOY what they do, I can see that. So I always would get frustrated at myself for not knowing exactly and being successful with what I wanted to do. However after frustrations, experiences, changes internally as well as externally, dealing with others, writing in my journal daily, etc I have learned life cannot be controlled. Life takes patience as well as actions, and deal with changes even if they are difficult or wonderful. Life is about experiences. I am still learning of life everyday but my explanation above is what I am acknowledging within my life. 

 

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Permalink Reply by AfroCuban on August 20, 2011 at 3:41pm

If you see the loss of direction, I suppose you can make a course correction.  I has to be done regularly in this life.  Too easy to forget and find yourself where you don't want to be with no idea how to get back on track towards what you want to do and be, and where you want to do it, and with who.

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