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... the other Black experience

A lot of men seem to be terribly intimidated by a truly independent woman. If she does not need constant help or attention, dudes seem to like her a lot less. I'm having this problem right now. My boyfriend just broke up with me because I simply do not need him. (Also because I'm insensitive but that's nothing new). Now that I am single tons of dudes comment on my looks, but do not seem to want to get near me. The only difference I see between me and most other girls is that I do not play dumb or nice, and am aware of myself. Eh. Whatever. If a man cannot respect or admire my independence, I cannot respect his company.

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What exactly is independence?
Sean said:
What exactly is independence?

Lack of dependence.
Jay said:
Sean said:
What exactly is independence?

Lack of dependence.
Well their you go.

You claiming "independence" where the strength a relationship is on depending on one another.

Seriously, who wants to deal with a independent person in a relationship.
Damn, I guess that's it! Well then I'm fine with being single forever, problem solved :)


Every time I've depended on a dude they blew it and didn't hold up their end of the deal.
Jay said:
Damn, I guess that's it! Well then I'm fine with being single forever, problem solved :)
Every time I've depended on a dude they blew it and didn't hold up their end of the deal.
And what exactly is a mans end of the deal may I ask.
Maybe it's because you are not being nice. I don't think the independant thing is so much of a bar. I will say this though a lot of men's feeling of manhood is predicated on feeling like they are providing for a woman. I don't see this as a negative trait. It is something that just is. Like some women's obsession with shoes. There is someone out there for you though and if you want your boyfriend back and you really are as insensitive as you say, you are going to need to work on that.
I'm guessing to depend on the woman as well...In my opinion, I actually believe in independence. I think everyone should put themselves first before anything. but, on the other hand when in a relationship things vary just cause it's a relationship...it really depends on how the person is

From my experience when someone is too dependent it tends to be annoying...

lmao at the fact your BF broke up with you because you don't need him and because you're insensitive...he'll just have to find someone who needs him but with that attitude who would want a BF like that???

Sean said:
Jay said:
Damn, I guess that's it! Well then I'm fine with being single forever, problem solved :)
Every time I've depended on a dude they blew it and didn't hold up their end of the deal.
And what exactly is a mans end of the deal may I ask.
I don't have all the data. Insensitive like how? It is possible you can be rude to the point of not making the person feel good about you. If I was dating a guy who was insensitive to my needs I would prolly break up with him too.

Independent in what way? Do you disappear for days at a time with no word and then come back and when he asks what gives you get all pissy with him?

I can't really make any real assesment without all the data.
I think you should focus on your insensitivity. Every man is not intimidated by a"truly independent" woman.
I dunno, we're kind of simple. If you don't want us around, we won't stick around. If you want us around...okay, cool. But, there's a difference being insensitive and independent.

This might explain it better.

Bad Brains Sailin' on
">
I can only re-emphasize what was said:

= don't know enough info
= agreed, many men desire an independant woman; you should do you then others
= 'insensitvity' is not sexy
= there's nothing weak about consideration, affection & care

I wish you the best and doubt you will be alone forever if you look at yourself and your dating patterns/choices.
i have a theory then:
"independent woman" and "affection & care" go together when you feel the partner is your intellectual, spiritual and sexual match.

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