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... the other Black experience

A lot of men seem to be terribly intimidated by a truly independent woman. If she does not need constant help or attention, dudes seem to like her a lot less. I'm having this problem right now. My boyfriend just broke up with me because I simply do not need him. (Also because I'm insensitive but that's nothing new). Now that I am single tons of dudes comment on my looks, but do not seem to want to get near me. The only difference I see between me and most other girls is that I do not play dumb or nice, and am aware of myself. Eh. Whatever. If a man cannot respect or admire my independence, I cannot respect his company.

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So whatever happened to choosing to date one another just because you enjoy each others company and conversation and sex and affection and having fun with one's mutual interests?  I agree with Sekou, if it's about competing over who's doing what for whom then it is a battle, and if you've been on your own for awhile you know already got your basic needs taken care of by yourself.  I see your point Brandon, cause frankly women like to be at least desired of our company and personality.  But being needed and being taken advantage of is a fine dangerous line and no one wants to be on either end of that.  One doubts if who you really are is why a person is with you, if they are constantly asking you to help them; after a time you get to feeling used and that is a bad feeling.  I think what most of us want is to be with someone who WANTS you to be a part of their life.

what you talkin bout? independent ladies rule. take it from a dude.

NOT ME!!!!! I LOVE INDEPENDENT WOMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jay, the people you really need to respond to your post are probably too intimidated to do so.

Unfortunately I can't explain why, as its not my mindset.

However, keep on being phenomenal and independent.

Regards

Hardwired

I kinda get this... up until my last relationship I was the clingy gf all my exes said that was a problem so I took two years to work on myself and started dating again. The new guy I started dating at first everything was fine, we spent a lot of time together then I started to give it some space so I wouldn't get on his nerves. He would often complain to me about his work schedule and how it was hard to see me and get his rest at the same time. So I started to spend less time with him in return he would start to come over whenever I told him I didn't need to see him and he started to accuse me of cheating because I gave him space. I don't get it either.....

Men naturally want to provide and pay the bills, if you can do that on your own, then why should we brother with you?

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