I admire your courage for posting this, FF. Be prepared to be castigated for promoting such views in the open forum and in private messages.
I agree what the woman in the video is saying. As humans we tend to look at things based on face value and seldom do we actually dig deeper to get the real facts. Yes as a woman you can balance the roles of mother and career woman, but eventually one of these facets will suffer. There is no getting around it. Not to mention if you are a caring parent ( Some mothers don't give a shit and just had children because it was trendy at the time. Just because a woman had a child, it does not automatically make her a good parent) you will feel guilty about missing out on your child's life.
P.S. I'm not offended by the word cunt. Sometimes I can be. I regret nothing.
adding some nuance...
pay gap: a bit of unbacked bullshit when it comes to the idea that men are willing to do XYZ while women aren't; she left out imo the most important point as to why there is a persistent pay gap -- women tend to avoid the hard bargain or demand more money -- this is part socialization and part guilt if they are mothers. women are also less likely to talk up their accomplishments out of fear of being boastful. if we were to be gender binary for a minute--this is one aspect of the "feminine" which i find frustratingly backward if unbalanced because there can be a balance in speaking truth, owning accomplishments, and being humble... and we need to be taught how to portray that balance.
womens' careers: she IS right about why women are underrepresented in CEO/top of the pyramid leadership positions because it requires absolute dedication and that's just the fact of it and men AND women have to make a lot of sacrifices to get there. she is NOT correct re: innate gender preferences for certain careers or what women/men are willing or not willing to do. people may think this is true but given the chance women in the hard sciences, math, and engineering despite socialization and sexism (it exists) can succeed.
stay at home daddies OR men who get paid less than their partners having no respect: as needs and employment fundamentals change in this society so do the things we consider normal or acceptable--this would include long term un- or under-employed men who have breadwinner partners who respect them. also worth and self-worth associated with money is something built-in to the patriarchy/hierarchy. and this is a GREAT example of how men are adversely affected by patriarchy/hierarchy too!
- rape // rape culture exists and it has very little to do with men being mostly straight because those same men will rape men to teach them a lesson too. rape is less about sex or brute strength and almost always about symbolized power. there is a reason why the prevalence of rape is associated with war and hierarchy. i do believe also that women are capable of rape (of men, other women, and children), without a doubt.
- domestic violence // yes that men are victims of violence and the goal of the majority of DV programs is not to end just violence against women but all forms of family violence! Given that though, one should not feign the illusion of equality a la fox news to ignore real and present problems and gaps in the legal system that exposes women, children, and the disabled to exploitation and abuse. One also shouldn't, in an attempt to establish the equality of the sexes, undermine or ignore that violence against women and children have devastating impacts that reverberate throughout the lifecycle of those individuals.
patriarchy in the west doesn't exist: bullshit. there is bias and there will be bias for a long time--getting token ppl in power doesn't change that worldviews still need to be altered or sharpened or made more inclusive (of all genders and embrace boys). also the ignoring of the value of "womens' work" is proof positive of a specific kind of hierarchy: patriarchy (and feminists who pathologize boys and all "masculine" traits tend to invert patriarchy... so nothing actually changes except very specific roles/titles/bullshit).
feminist encouraging victimized identity: depends on the person/ppl you talk to...i agree though that there are a lot of ppl who want to cling to labels--and that's a pity, BUT most of the time this argument will be tossed at anyone who points out injustice.
career v. family: TOTALLY AGREED! Men have the same three options and hard choices to make! And have you all noticed that more commercials recently feature fathers with their children when it comes to selling a variety of products? I think that's a GREAT change because it is appealing to and portraying a side of men which exclusionary feminists ignore and adds to an image of men that goes beyond sex, being alpha, and/or partying. As a feminist--this is the kind of stuff I want to see more of! :D
love to hear what open-minded folks think. :] with respect to what is written in THIS post, would I be considered an extreme feminist? i wonder.
I totally agree with what she says about abortion, the pay gap, and the career vs. family it. the other stuff, such as the rape bit, not so much. she makes very valid points, but there are some cultural subtleties(ie. even though one can go to court, the court system doesn't really help, the fact that many people think it's the victim's fault) that she doesn't really address. So I don't think she's spot on about everything, but this is a much more refreshing look at gender/society stuff than many are use to seeing.