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Permalink Reply by Marcus Allen Kinsey on October 3, 2010 at 3:38pm
Permalink Reply by Marcus Allen Kinsey on October 3, 2010 at 3:40pm
Permalink Reply by kifaru on October 3, 2010 at 7:51pm
Permalink Reply by Adam Homer on October 3, 2010 at 8:14pm It seems like you were free styling it instead of having an "act". Your material was not timed all that well. You got some funny references but you didn't hold on to the funny stuff. Some of your lead ins were on point then you let them go sour.
Premise one: the memorial
When you did your lead in I was like ok but It would have been funnier if the guy was talking shit about the father he memorialized or be if you had said" My mom was a fat bitch and immediately cut to the reference about the father being in heaven
Premise two: the room mate and the hang over. Your impression doesn't sound like pigeons. Then you said they sound like their singing but your impression doesn't sound like singing. If you're going to do racial humour you gotta go for it. Don't preface it by say something PC unless you're really going to tear into them. It always funny if your "translate" what the "foreigner" said.
Premise three: The girlfriend
She wakes up and she looks a like a bitch. That means what. That's not funny. How about something more descriptive like a monster, a goat, a bear? It was funny when you threw in the part about being together a week
Premise four: Her sexual past change the eggs in the basket riff from your pussy to dicks in one basket. Actually I thought this was the funniest part of your act.
Best of luck.
Permalink Reply by kifaru on October 3, 2010 at 8:19pm
you make me wanna post more videos on this site just for your opinion. We had a three minute time limit and the original set was at least 7 minutes. I know I can do way better. But promise me the night time I post my video up, you'll give me the same in depth feedback?
kifaru said:It seems like you were free styling it instead of having an "act". Your material was not timed all that well. You got some funny references but you didn't hold on to the funny stuff. Some of your lead ins were on point then you let them go sour.
Premise one: the memorial
When you did your lead in I was like ok but It would have been funnier if the guy was talking shit about the father he memorialized or be if you had said" My mom was a fat bitch and immediately cut to the reference about the father being in heaven
Premise two: the room mate and the hang over. Your impression doesn't sound like pigeons. Then you said they sound like their singing but your impression doesn't sound like singing. If you're going to do racial humour you gotta go for it. Don't preface it by say something PC unless you're really going to tear into them. It always funny if your "translate" what the "foreigner" said.
Premise three: The girlfriend
She wakes up and she looks a like a bitch. That means what. That's not funny. How about something more descriptive like a monster, a goat, a bear? It was funny when you threw in the part about being together a week
Premise four: Her sexual past change the eggs in the basket riff from your pussy to dicks in one basket. Actually I thought this was the funniest part of your act.
Best of luck.
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