Sexual Misadventures

Most embarrasing thing to happen whilst engaging in coitus! C'mon, fess up?!?

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Permalink Reply by kifaru on October 19, 2009 at 2:36pm

To me or her? You go first.

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Permalink Reply by Ken-K on October 19, 2009 at 2:55pm

I had just "released" on my girlfriend's(at the time) chest, and I guess I was knealing in a bad way, 'cause I got a serious cramp and nearly fell off the bed.

There's also one time we were going at it and "her time of the month " started during our encounter.

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Permalink Reply by X-D-D-M*9 on October 19, 2009 at 7:04pm

Jeez, I hope I never earn my 'red wings'. Props to y'all who can handle it, I'd probably faint like a chick in a movie.

Let me see, outside of 'arriving at the party too soon' which is common in youth (for me at least) I've had some episodes.

= Fell asleep during the act. What's worse is I was on top.

= I think I told this one: on a boring afternoon I matched up Rosy Palmer & Jack Johnson for a quick solo session. For some reason right after I call up this sister I wanted to get with and when I get her home, Jack won't stand strong. And she tried to get him to salute but no haps and this was 2 hours later. Needless to say she never called me back.

= The ol' "who in the hell left the gate open?..." Homegirl & I just finished going at it and her son walks in on us in our natural state. Freaked me out 'cause I didn't have my glasses on and was wondering what those shapes in the doorway were.

Fun to think about 'cause since I left my 30's and entered my 40's, I've had not much to talk or think about for the past 2 years...

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Permalink Reply by Wheredawhitewomenat on October 19, 2009 at 9:39pm

Didn't one of you older AP Cats get busy with some older woman, and woke up and found her teeth on the night stand?

I read that on one of the old boards and screamed, "DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaamn!"

Anywho, yeah I once found this condom (Wasn't expired but pretty old). Long story short, put it on and that Non-noxly 9 stuff got in my dick...Worst pain ever. God damn, I was pissing razor blades for like 6hrs straight.

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Permalink Reply by Ken-K on October 19, 2009 at 9:52pm

Yeah, that sounds terrible, man!

Wheredawhitewomenat said:

Didn't one of you older AP Cats get busy with some older woman, and woke up and found her teeth on the night stand?

I read that on one of the old boards and screamed, "DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaamn!"

Anywho, yeah I once found this condom (Wasn't expired but pretty old). Long story short, put it on and that Non-noxly 9 stuff got in my dick...Worst pain ever. God damn, I was pissing razor blades for like 6hrs straight.

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Permalink Reply by Obsidian on October 20, 2009 at 11:30am

Sorry, that doesn't sound like a misadventure - more like mundane mishaps in sexual relations between couples. Giving your girl an orgasm before her time of the month is scheduled to start, might make it start right there and then. Nothing embarrassing though. Happens all the time.

Ken-K said:

I had just "released" on my girlfriend's(at the time) chest, and I guess I was knealing in a bad way, 'cause I got a serious cramp and nearly fell off the bed.

There's also one time we were going at it and "her time of the month " started during our encounter.

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Permalink Reply by Renegade Muthafuckin' Green on October 21, 2009 at 3:37pm

well i was reaching my peak and sneezed
and it was a big violent sneeze...so yea not only did i push him out he was covered in snot....not the best moment but its pretty funny now.

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Permalink Reply by GodsavetheQueer on October 21, 2009 at 4:07pm

I dislocated my knee in flagrante delicto. Had to stop and put ice on it and I hobbled around for the next week.

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Permalink Reply by Ken-K on October 21, 2009 at 4:27pm

Damn, nice one!

GodsavetheQueer said:

I dislocated my knee in flagrante delicto. Had to stop and put ice on it and I hobbled around for the next week.

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Permalink Reply by Madamoiselle De Sade on October 21, 2009 at 7:07pm

Ken-K said:

I had just "released" on my girlfriend's(at the time) chest, and I guess I was knealing in a bad way, 'cause I got a serious cramp and nearly fell off the bed.

There's also one time we were going at it and "her time of the month " started during our encounter.

That has happened to me (the slang for it is "bringing it down" like Obsidian said- it's common to get a period after an orgasm). And my boyfriend got squeamish. It's just blood. C'mon![/G.o.b Bluth]

I've been squashed, I've had my cervix bumped into- ouch! I fell off a couple of times (learned about lube). ...and I've fallen asleep.
I always have to sneeze if something sexy happens, thought I was alone in that camp.

Of course I've farted during. Who doesn't? That's one of the dangers we all have to accept. And queefing.

Nothing really bad has happened (yet).
I forget to lock doors.

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Permalink Reply by ShayShayLafunk on October 22, 2009 at 12:41am

At my peeps house, chilling and drinking. They went out to the store, we snuck into guest room, for some fun and there were several old kiddie toys stored for some reason.

Started getting down with my fav Velvet Tongued Devil :-) Going at it hard & sweaty . Fell off bed and landed on a toy. Shit lit up with all these flashing lights and started screaming some loud ass music, the damn thing was playing that dumb Disney song "It's a small world after all"
We both start laughing and can't turn it off , then my peeps walk in the door with us naked laid out on some flashing toys and dumb ass song playing!!

LOL :-)