... the other Black experience
Unwarranted aggression from a fellow Afro Punk/Rocker
I went to a gig with a couple of friends and headed straight for the bar. I remember feeling like I was being squashed up against the rail. I turned around to see that this mixed race guy had his upper arm presses against my back. I figured it was just because it was packed out that night. I shuffled over and so did he. Figured I was just being paranoid and I didn’t want to act like ‘the crazy black bitch’ (yes, I’m a little conscious of being perceived that way).
Throughout the night, if I was talking to someone he knew he would interrupt the conversation and then body block me out of the conversation.
Would you believe that just a few days later this guy was at the studios where I work and I’ve seen him around a few times since. I’ve attempted to make eye contact to see if I could figure him out. But each time he’s either turned his back to me or pretended to be on the phone.
I haven’t mentioned this to any of my colleagues because I think I’d just make myself look like the psycho. His aggressive devices are so subtle.
You might wonder why I care if he doesn’t like me. Well, I don’t care if he doesn’t like me however I don’t like that he is prepared to take the extra step to stop me building friendships with other people.
Any insight into this situation would be well received.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Christina on -
I fear you might be partially right. I'm the only alt girl on the production team at the moment. There are a couple alt black guys (who are cool), but he can't bitch at them.
Fashionfreak said:wow this sounds like a case of 'i want to be the only black person in the room and anyone else will steal my spotlight' it's pretty petty and i've dealt with it before but not to the extent that he has. more than likely if he only does that around ppl but avoids you in person he is a pussy. honestly i would confront him not in a rude way tho.....
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Permalink Reply by Darkness Unlimited* on -
Shiiieeet, if this nigga's married, why's he fuckin' with you then?
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Permalink Reply by Chaeya on -
As much as we feel good when we let loose our "inner black woman", because I'm in business, I've learned to be more diplomatic in certain circumstances. Such as, I would approach him and pull him aside and say "The other day I felt like you were following me and intentionally getting in my way to the point where I was offended. Please don't do that again, I find it rude." Then if he gets snotty with you, cuss his ass out, or you can be a prankster and carry those colored sharpies and proceed to mark up the back of his shirt. If he says something, you can say "if you saw that, you were too damned close to me."
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Permalink Reply by Chaeya on
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Married doesn't mean a thing to some people.
Darkness Unlimited* said:Shiiieeet, if this nigga's married, why's he fuckin' with you then?
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Permalink Reply by Ducks in Helicopters on -
oh wow this sucks. Regardless there's some serious issues with the guy if he's willing to jump in front of you will you're trying to socialize. You may have to stop him right as he's doing it in front of the people he interrupts you, of course in a mild manner. Or pull him aside. It's sad that some people never grow out of this juvenile behaviors. Hopefully you'll update us if anything else happens or if you're able to figure what's going on.
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Permalink Reply by Darkness Unlimited* on
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Maybe you should get him to start an account on AP so he can explain himself.
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Permalink Reply by rockie on -
i'm a firm believer that if you don't nip shyt in the bud from jump then it will continue to happen because the person in question will not see nor respect your boundaries. the fact that you are constantly running into this person leads me to believe that you will continue to have interactions with him in the future and he will continue to step into your personal space and disrespect you because he already knows you will not say or do anything about it. it's 1 thing when a person has a crush and doesn't know how to express it so they resort to certain measures in order to get your attention however this only applies when you're under the age of 12. this is a grown ass man with a bitch ass attitude. he's a bully and i doubt your life will be further enhanced by having him as a friend especially when he does it to someone else you may know and you find yourself having to explain his behavior in order to get said person to understand that "he's really a good guy but just misunderstood". waiting for another male member of the group to pull his card may not necessarily work because you have to consider what will happen if you are alone with this person and there's no one there to stand up for you or if no one else can see him "accidently" bump into you. i'm sure your group has noticed how he cuts you off when you are speaking but when it happens again just make it clear that YOU are speaking. if he wants to act like a child then put him in his place like a child.
btw, hello to all the ap members. nice place you got here.
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Permalink Reply by rockie on
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now THAT is some funny shyt right there. sharpie to the rescue (and the cleaners).
Chaeya said:
As much as we feel good when we let loose our "inner black woman", because I'm in business, I've learned to be more diplomatic in certain circumstances. Such as, I would approach him and pull him aside and say "The other day I felt like you were following me and intentionally getting in my way to the point where I was offended. Please don't do that again, I find it rude." Then if he gets snotty with you, cuss his ass out, or you can be a prankster and carry those colored sharpies and proceed to mark up the back of his shirt. If he says something, you can say "if you saw that, you were too damned close to me."
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Permalink Reply by Tara (Rebel to the Madness) on
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Agree.
Hello and nice meet you as well, Rocky.
rocky said:i'm a firm believer that if you don't nip shyt in the bud from jump then it will continue to happen because the person in question will not see nor respect your boundaries. the fact that you are constantly running into this person leads me to believe that you will continue to have interactions with him in the future and he will continue to step into your personal space and disrespect you because he already knows you will not say or do anything about it. it's 1 thing when a person has a crush and doesn't know how to express it so they resort to certain measures in order to get your attention however this only applies when you're under the age of 12. this is a grown ass man with a bitch ass attitude. he's a bully and i doubt your life will be further enhanced by having him as a friend especially when he does it to someone else you may know and you find yourself having to explain his behavior in order to get said person to understand that "he's really a good guy but just misunderstood". waiting for another male member of the group to pull his card may not necessarily work because you have to consider what will happen if you are alone with this person and there's no one there to stand up for you or if no one else can see him "accidently" bump into you. i'm sure your group has noticed how he cuts you off when you are speaking but when it happens again just make it clear that YOU are speaking. if he wants to act like a child then put him in his place like a child.
btw, hello to all the ap members. nice place you got here.
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Permalink Reply by Spookycreep on
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Like I just got through telling you Ms.C., Satanist keep it real. The bitch has issues, I'd confront his ass and tell him to drop dead_ and if you do that, bring a male friend with you. The bitch probably won't even open his mouth then. That's the nature of bitch_asses.
Darkness Unlimited* said:Bitch-ass nigga just sounds hateful for no good reason. Fuck 'um.
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