I'll probably just be repeating what's already been said, but I kinda feel like black people more than the rest of the gay community have a problem with stepping outside the gender binary. I identify as queer genderqueer versatile but i lean more toward dominant. I've recently started seeing someone whose appearance and demeanor would lend people to thinking she's a stud, but she's actually quite submissive. I wrote a blog once about how she said I made her feel like a woman, because sometimes, although subconsious, in stud/femme relationships we fall into roles, e.g. masculine - changing the light bulb feminine - vacuuming. (Gross generalizations, but you get the point. In fact, go read it, lol: http://ichasethedevil.blogspot.com/2009/11/you-make-me-feel-like-wo...) But sometimes it's almost like the feminine person 'forgets' their partner is female and would like their partner to hug them from behind, or the masculine partner 'forgets' they're a woman, or thinks it's a sellout for all the stud community if Ms. Cockinpantz lets her lady put a finger in there. and then there's the whole thing of 'what do you perceive as feminine/masculine; strong/weak; dominant/submissive?' It's an antiquated way of thinking to think 'studs shouldn't cook' or 'it's okay for a femme to not have a job but not a stud' (i'll be damned.) and i'm not quite sure when we adopted this 1955 way of thinking.
stephany - i think i saw you on a queer tumblr. Unless 'genderaloof' is a popular term and I just haven't heard of it yet. But i'm pretty sure it was you.
Half of the rest of you - yall filtered over from Downelink, lol. Welcome!
Good questions raised. I often think about this topic. I mean where are the nerdier studs or the effeminate aggressive males?
im proud to be s4s
the term stud has really changed it's definition over the years. I remember when I was sorta growin up in the 90's stud meant hunk; now it's become this sort of default for butch Latina's and Blacks, most of which aren't very attractive, aren't tough at all but pretend to be, aren't self-sufficent in anyway and terrible in bed from what I hear from femme friends. I get so turned off when someone mistakenly refers to me as a stud. I am not nor have a ever been some middle-class wanna be gangsta livin w/ their grandma that's never had to struggle a day in their life. get a life. grow the f**k up and woman-up! butch/femme/whatever, just stop fakin the funk, you're makin the rest of us look bad.