... the other Black experience
She's No Longer Happy with being Nappy
So today a friend of mine who had decided to relieve herself of superficial beauty and perms and relaxers and the other hair rituals that many black women have become enslaved to, went back to a relaxer or a perm. When I asked why she responded with two reasons:
Reason #1: "Natural hair is too hard to tame"
Well I disagree. The only reason your hair is hard to "tame" or maintain is because you are trying to maintain it by using white hair pratices, and conform it to those europeanized standards of beauty, which it will never reach. This is very important to understand.
Your natural hair is made for very easy-to-maintain hairstyle which also last a very lengthy amount of time. Natural hair is strong, so it holds very well. You must wear styles that are natural to your hair, like braids twists, dreads, or even an afro. But if you keep trying to conform your hair to look like styles that are un-natural, of course it will be a HARD task.
Reason #2: "Its more attractive"
I myself like women with both straight relaxed hair and also extensions or weave. but I'm also attracted to women with natural hair because it takes an extraodinary beauty to defy the sterotypical views of beauty and exude without the aid of straight or long hair. But generally, the statement my friend made is true, The majority of society and definitely the media has protrayed straight and long hair as more attractive. This has been statistically proven by males and masculine lesbians as well as some feminine lesbians. Men and women define straight and long hair as beautiful and attractive. Compared to the opposite of curly or kinky hair or short hair. Which most women hair has been reduced to being short because of the amount of damage we cause to it by trying to make it conform to un-natural(caucasianized) hairstyles , with the use of flat-irons, heat, and chemicals.
Some other reason women say GOODBYE to Natural, and HELLO Perm!
is because...
NATURAL OR SHORT HAIR IS A MAN THING!
Short hair and natural styles are also consider masculine! Mainly masculine lesbians and males where natural hairstyles like braids, afros, twist, and dreads, or short hair. So being a feminine lesbian or women, you appear more masculine when you wear your hair natural or short. Many men have stated they view women with natural or short hair as "not feminie"
THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH WEAVES, OR EXTENSIONS, OR RELAXERS!
Your hair does not define who you are and should be your choice. Wearing a perm or straightening your hair, is a personal choice, and not always related to anything deeper than that a style perference, like the clothes you choose to wear.
However it does become a problem when it no longer becomes a choice. Society and mainly media is making it harder and harder for women to be natural. They are constantly shoving cosmetic products down our throats, and weave stores on the corner of every black neighborhood, and celebrities and models with these false "un-natural" images of beauty, with weave, extensions, make up, air brush, and many other things.
THE PROBLEM IS NOT STRAIGHT HAIR! THE PROBLEM IS THE MEDIA'S INFLUENCE ON SOCIETY'S NEGATIVE VIEW OF NATURAL HAIR!
... I am not that much different from the rest of society who have been brainwashed by the images of beauty protrayed by the media. I find women who do these things to conform to this mainstream view of beauty as very attractive, but it is because thats what has been installed in since a very young age. I learned what beauty was through tv and magazinges. And when those are the images you see for 19 years, its hard to change.
By showing this one image of beauty as being long or straight hair, commercials, tv shows, magazines, that we look at from the time we're born, installs in us, this false sense of what beauty is. It affects men and masculine lesbians by subconsciously installing in them this image of what "being attractive" looks like. And affects women because we have to conform to this "un-natural" image to be seen as attractive by these men and masculine lesbians, or sometimes feminine lesbials as well.
Reason #1: "Natural hair is too hard to tame"
Well I disagree. The only reason your hair is hard to "tame" or maintain is because you are trying to maintain it by using white hair pratices, and conform it to those europeanized standards of beauty, which it will never reach. This is very important to understand.
Your natural hair is made for very easy-to-maintain hairstyle which also last a very lengthy amount of time. Natural hair is strong, so it holds very well. You must wear styles that are natural to your hair, like braids twists, dreads, or even an afro. But if you keep trying to conform your hair to look like styles that are un-natural, of course it will be a HARD task.
Reason #2: "Its more attractive"
I myself like women with both straight relaxed hair and also extensions or weave. but I'm also attracted to women with natural hair because it takes an extraodinary beauty to defy the sterotypical views of beauty and exude without the aid of straight or long hair. But generally, the statement my friend made is true, The majority of society and definitely the media has protrayed straight and long hair as more attractive. This has been statistically proven by males and masculine lesbians as well as some feminine lesbians. Men and women define straight and long hair as beautiful and attractive. Compared to the opposite of curly or kinky hair or short hair. Which most women hair has been reduced to being short because of the amount of damage we cause to it by trying to make it conform to un-natural(caucasianized) hairstyles , with the use of flat-irons, heat, and chemicals.
Some other reason women say GOODBYE to Natural, and HELLO Perm!
is because...
NATURAL OR SHORT HAIR IS A MAN THING!
Short hair and natural styles are also consider masculine! Mainly masculine lesbians and males where natural hairstyles like braids, afros, twist, and dreads, or short hair. So being a feminine lesbian or women, you appear more masculine when you wear your hair natural or short. Many men have stated they view women with natural or short hair as "not feminie"
THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH WEAVES, OR EXTENSIONS, OR RELAXERS!
Your hair does not define who you are and should be your choice. Wearing a perm or straightening your hair, is a personal choice, and not always related to anything deeper than that a style perference, like the clothes you choose to wear.
However it does become a problem when it no longer becomes a choice. Society and mainly media is making it harder and harder for women to be natural. They are constantly shoving cosmetic products down our throats, and weave stores on the corner of every black neighborhood, and celebrities and models with these false "un-natural" images of beauty, with weave, extensions, make up, air brush, and many other things.
THE PROBLEM IS NOT STRAIGHT HAIR! THE PROBLEM IS THE MEDIA'S INFLUENCE ON SOCIETY'S NEGATIVE VIEW OF NATURAL HAIR!
... I am not that much different from the rest of society who have been brainwashed by the images of beauty protrayed by the media. I find women who do these things to conform to this mainstream view of beauty as very attractive, but it is because thats what has been installed in since a very young age. I learned what beauty was through tv and magazinges. And when those are the images you see for 19 years, its hard to change.
By showing this one image of beauty as being long or straight hair, commercials, tv shows, magazines, that we look at from the time we're born, installs in us, this false sense of what beauty is. It affects men and masculine lesbians by subconsciously installing in them this image of what "being attractive" looks like. And affects women because we have to conform to this "un-natural" image to be seen as attractive by these men and masculine lesbians, or sometimes feminine lesbials as well.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Fadiah Sarrah on -
I tell people today that its ok to be natural, it's your hair that you were born with. Be an individual don't give into society's hype about being thin, straight long hair, or the rhianna styles. You don't have to look like a video girl. Because you spend 180$ + on all the weaves and such and you wonder why you don't have edges?! The money you use you can save on other things, I am not saying dont get braids on weaves ever again but let your hair breathe and rock YOU for a bit. Learn about your culture[who I got from DC]...take it back to your roots because I know alot of people don't know who Odunde is?! It's time to stop being ashame...Natural hair is bold, beautiful, and in!
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Permalink Reply by Chinelo on
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"Natural hair is strong"
Natural hair, especially if it is kinky, is very fragile. Breakage is common if one does not understand this.
I agree with everything else though. -
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Permalink Reply by Madamoiselle De Sade on -
Yeah, the twists and turns are like little weak points. The strands may also be smaller. But most likely larger than relaxed hair strands.
Chinelo said:"Natural hair is strong"
Natural hair, especially if it is kinky, is very fragile. Breakage is common if one does not understand this.
I agree with everything else though. -
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Permalink Reply by BlackSoulRose on -
WOW! Great post! But let me start by saying that wearing your natural hair is a Big step! I went back and forth at first about my natural hair but then i said "Fuk It!" I didn't care what other people thought. Our natural hair is STRONG and it takes STRONG individuals to rock their God-Given hair in a society that makes anything Afro-centric or black negative. "Only the Strong go crazy" that's Assata Shakur. This statement is so true because the crazy people are the ones that "conform" to a society and culture that is not theirs and will never appreciate and love them for who you are. I rather be hated for what I truly am then loved for what I am not. I have friends who absoluetly will not go natural either but they have to come to the realization of why your natural hair is so important. I had to learn the hard way, perms always broke my hair off so now, I do me, I am comfortable in my skin as a 100% Organic Black woman.
As far as the media goes, if you pay attention, you can start to see more and more commercials and ads using mixed looking women with curly afros. Mostly products that are marketed to black audiences or mixed cultural groups but nevertheless, the images are becoming more prominent. I have a few people a day ask me about my hair and many want to go natural they are just afraid of what their friends, boyfriends, mamas or everyone else is going to say. So I say to all "Rock ur Natural Hair dammit!" It's our God-Given right and it is what sets us apart as individuals. The Creator didn't make any other people with a head of nappy hair like this and I am indeed, Happy 2 be Nappy! One Luv, BlackSoulRose!
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Permalink Reply by taryn m on
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i think certain people are not strong enough to handle the drastic change. the negative attention or feedback from fam, friends, strangers, prospective mates, etc,
it takes a STRONG BLACK WOMAN to wear their god(dess) given hair.
IMO by the way lol. -
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Permalink Reply by Fashionfreak on -
totally. i used to be warped in this kind of thinking once upon a time. i thought my buzzed off hair (when i got the big chop in september) looked so manly and unfeminine but as it grew i began to accept it. now i am happy with my hair and it has grown a WHOLE LOT since then! i love it.
Ekari said:AGREED. To be able to hold ur head high and refute the euro-centric ideals of beauty as the only type of beauty is mainly for the strong.
taryn m said:i think certain people are not strong enough to handle the drastic change. the negative attention or feedback from fam, friends, strangers, prospective mates, etc,
it takes a STRONG BLACK WOMAN to wear their god(dess) given hair.
IMO by the way lol. -
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