I'm gonna update my own shit here. Life has taken a big huge open up direction and turning on the universe.
It's scary as hell but it's great as hell too. Now I know how I got here.....letting everything my life "just happen" and not until now am I learning I can't leave shit to chance when it comes to specific needs and accomplishments. It's fucking harder than anything I have ever done or had to live throught to now actually take deliberate action in my life and to plan shit out to the minute/day in many parts of my life. I didn't know I was being lazy and laissez faire until recently. I am now thankful I learned but I continue to learn struggle day by day. The pain comes with joy every single day. Wish me Good Luck!
I have three kids and seizures. Until I kept up with my meds I didn't see anything wrong with leaving a double digit an hour job if I grew tired of it. Lived on the street for a little bit but I still had a job as a highrise window washer. All I can do is pull myself up by my shirt and enter the fray again. It's all anyone can do. I'm not going to lie though, not seeing my babies really knocked me down for a while. Oddly enough I was never on any drugs or an alcoholic. Those messed up neurons can really screw you up man.