When did you "stop fucking around" and get your shit together?

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by John Ask on February 5, 2009 at 12:51pm

You'll "get your act together" when you really need too!!! Have fun and follow your passion! If you need "ducats" which we all do; then GET A JOB!! If you have a job then make sure you enjoy it; or else get a new job and have fun @ night or the weekends! Hey; I'm just being real, I'm telling you you'll know when to get your "act" together, when "you" want too!!!!

Permalink Reply by lyfenlyn on February 5, 2009 at 1:52pm

get act together in what way? are you saying somehow wave your hand and you have the wife, kids, house in the suburbs and the $50,000+ a year salary? How do you know you have your shit together? cause other people tell you are? cause you can buy stuff you don't need? because you don't go home and cry everytime someone doesn't want to go out with you?

I've been on a mission as long as I can remember and have pretty much stayed on the path to it. Closer and closer inch by muddafukkin inch. The key is staying in motion, not getting stagnated, and doing something everyday that has to do with your vision. it's a process that only YOU can say when your shit is together. YOU decide when it's happy time. Everyones path isn't the same, so everyones 'together' aint going to be the same. Everyones place on this earth isn't the same. We aren't all being groomed for the same position on the planet. I can't tell you how to walk, just suggest some really good shoe stores that fit your budget for comfortable kicks to get you there. I can't draw you a map.

Permalink Reply by Boombats on February 5, 2009 at 8:38pm

Man I feel all of this 100%. Especially the feeling more rebellious now than before, because I'm more well informed and less deluded/addled.

El Machetero said:

It's rough man......i turn 34 in a few months, and in many aspects, i feel more like a snot-nosed rebellious teenage punk rock motherfucker than i ever did when i was a kid, cuz now, i'm no longer curious about the wrong shit cuz i KNOW it's all a trap, now i REALLY know that everything my intuition was telling me all along to be a bunch of sick and oppressive bullshit really is just that, and my patience for being spoken to like i'm a tool is nil.

The biggest difference between me now and me then is that i know better than to run with scissors in my hands, and i'm not about to invest any energy or time in anything unless i'm gonna do it up proper. i have far greater standards for how i choose to live and who i choose to associate myself with, i appreciate good people now and don't shit on them, or push them away, or take them for granted, or allow my love for them to become about me instead of about loving them back proper, and i also know better (sometimes at least) than to think i can function with no food or sleep.

But it's bad at the same time. i have less patience for authority figures (especially stupid and incompetent ones) than ever before, and since i now feel quite liberated from most of the self-hatred, anger, selfishness and self-destructiveness which consumed me as a younger man, i have more of an urge to travel the world, go out and celebrate and be a wacky crazy bohemian than ever before. This is where the rules and expectations of the so-called "adult" world and myself tend to clash violently.....

Permalink Reply by Rhinos Have More Fun on February 5, 2009 at 9:53pm

That's dope.

Permalink Reply by Rhinos Have More Fun on February 5, 2009 at 10:16pm

Fuck--I don't think I've ever gotten my shit together.

I think that "getting your shit together" area is extremely grey. I have met certain significant accomplishments--namely a BA and even to a lesser extent, my barely-used CDL, but I haven't even come close to matching the stability that my brothers have. We both had the best role model in our home and the best opportunities, but for whatever reason, I just wasn't feeling that mainstream path. I would say that I'm kind of a lazy person who'd much rather do what he likes than do what some folks would consider the "best move". I think it's because I come from this Black middle class family with the overachiever mentality; of course there's nothing wrong with seeing things that way--if it's for you. In fact, I hope my daughter can live up to that better than I would have liked to. (So far, she's doing a great job!)

I'll refrain from spilling all of the gory details here online, but even as I prepare for grad school again, I have strong reservations about what my future professors and that field of work that I intend to pursue--not the field itself, but of its expectations of me to be anyone other than whom I choose to be to do the best job. I really think its important to meet the world on my own terms.

And here's the ironic part--I think "my own terms" is probably as grey an area as "getting my shit together". (Just imagine what that map of that place looks like!!!)

Permalink Reply by Compound Egret on February 6, 2009 at 4:35pm

It hasn't been a lightswitch for me and I don't think it is for anyone. There are areas where I have gotten it together and other areas where I have a long way to go.

Permalink Reply by Dumeha Vernice on February 7, 2009 at 5:31pm

Yo I so fuckin concur with what is said here.

It does and can often feel like one's shit is not together when comparing them to others or what the hell something or somebody else has declared as the status of 'having it together'. Truth is no matter where you are or who you are we are all on a quest - a journey in this life. But the key is to always stay true to yourself, your path and your purpose on this planet - and that is an honest challenge in and of itself. It seems that it is about being open to you - who r u now? - who do u choose and desire to become? and once that is clear just get on with moving in that direction with no hesitation and no regrets.

lyfenlyn said:

get act together in what way? are you saying somehow wave your hand and you have the wife, kids, house in the suburbs and the $50,000+ a year salary? How do you know you have your shit together? cause other people tell you are? cause you can buy stuff you don't need? because you don't go home and cry everytime someone doesn't want to go out with you?

I've been on a mission as long as I can remember and have pretty much stayed on the path to it. Closer and closer inch by muddafukkin inch. The key is staying in motion, not getting stagnated, and doing something everyday that has to do with your vision. it's a process that only YOU can say when your shit is together. YOU decide when it's happy time. Everyones path isn't the same, so everyones 'together' aint going to be the same. Everyones place on this earth isn't the same. We aren't all being groomed for the same position on the planet. I can't tell you how to walk, just suggest some really good shoe stores that fit your budget for comfortable kicks to get you there. I can't draw you a map.

Permalink Reply by Afrotechnica on March 17, 2009 at 11:10am

My career path was Music or Videographer so I always walked the fence of paying job and job love. I got a degree on both so I had good direction. I took me to my present career, video conferencing specialist. Its a great job but no more time to club until 2am. I'm 45 and really don't want to anyway but I do still miss being passed around overhead from a good stage dive. LOL!

Permalink Reply by Boombats on March 17, 2009 at 3:52pm

Shit gets me down when I run into people who are doing what they love and getting paid. I mean it rules to see people I like doing good work and enjoying it, but it inevitably makes me reflect on all the time I've wasted. Yeah I know, stop wasting time now and start building your future, whatever. I am holding out until the end of 2012 before I start having any hope for my old age. I need to get over this apocalyptic pessimism but I won't let myself, ere I get too comfortable and let the Lizard Men sneak up on me. Basically I have little hope for the fate of this country, humans, the planet. I'm trying to just do what I want now. I can't see spending the next 4 years in school, even if I thought I could afford it which I can't. I want that paper NOW goddamnit! Thinking about starting a meth lab or an organ farm.

You "old folks" are gonna say "hey I felt that way too, then I got my PHD and am a millionaire" etc LOL. That's cool but that was all back in the golden 80's and 90's when anything could happen, ha ha. You don't know what it's like being a 21st century nigga, I'm fuckin' Broke Rogers over here.

And why is it so hard for an aging youngster to get his foot in the door somewhere for fuck's sake? Seems like people don't want to hire anyone over 21 to start from the bottom up in a company. I can't get the experience for a better position until I make it through the entry-level work, but I can't get the entry-level work in the first place! Catch-22. I'm willing and able to learn anything but I swear folks are just looking for post-teens who don't need the work as bad as I do. It's as if nobody wants a broken down loser with a criminal record and a chip on his shoulder. Oh wait...

Permalink Reply by lyfenlyn on March 18, 2009 at 12:30pm

LOL Broke Rodgers. Good one.

I feel you. I am going back to school for what I should have done in the first place which is fashion. I dropped out after a semester in 92 because of money but I am going for it once again and I am over 40. Imagine trying to get a job over 40? It's not really my goal to be an overworked seamstress for some paleface designer, I really want to work in film and music behind the scenes and have my own line and some stuff at Target or something practical like that. It's a long shot but I won't stop till I have beaten every avenue.

Boombats said:

Shit gets me down when I run into people who are doing what they love and getting paid. I mean it rules to see people I like doing good work and enjoying it, but it inevitably makes me reflect on all the time I've wasted. Yeah I know, stop wasting time now and start building your future, whatever. I am holding out until the end of 2012 before I start having any hope for my old age. I need to get over this apocalyptic pessimism but I won't let myself, ere I get too comfortable and let the Lizard Men sneak up on me. Basically I have little hope for the fate of this country, humans, the planet. I'm trying to just do what I want now. I can't see spending the next 4 years in school, even if I thought I could afford it which I can't. I want that paper NOW goddamnit! Thinking about starting a meth lab or an organ farm.

You "old folks" are gonna say "hey I felt that way too, then I got my PHD and am a millionaire" etc LOL. That's cool but that was all back in the golden 80's and 90's when anything could happen, ha ha. You don't know what it's like being a 21st century nigga, I'm fuckin' Broke Rogers over here.

And why is it so hard for an aging youngster to get his foot in the door somewhere for fuck's sake? Seems like people don't want to hire anyone over 21 to start from the bottom up in a company. I can't get the experience for a better position until I make it through the entry-level work, but I can't get the entry-level work in the first place! Catch-22. I'm willing and able to learn anything but I swear folks are just looking for post-teens who don't need the work as bad as I do. It's as if nobody wants a broken down loser with a criminal record and a chip on his shoulder. Oh wait...

Permalink Reply by Rosenda on March 29, 2009 at 3:48pm

BAHAHAHAHAHAH! Boombats what a question. I'll be honest, I didnt have any priorities beyond HAVING FUN in every area of my life until I was at least 35. All I did before then was enjoy music and go to shows and go dancing with friends and have fun with family and rollerskating and iceskating and movies and whatever else. Seriously. Guess I didn't really think anything serious until I had to. After I was divorced and had my first apartment alone and taking care of myself.

And Boom, each of us will have a different reason what "getting your shit together" means. For some that means having responsiblities like a serious relationship and kids and for some it just means getting clean and stop doing booze and drugs excessively and hanging out with different social crowd. You gotta decide for yourself what it means and what your goals are and if you are ready to go for them and do what it takes to achieve them.



Especially the feeling more rebellious now than before, because I'm more well informed and less deluded/addled.

Boom and El, I REALLY feel in agreement with you on that general point. I also feel in limbo sometimes, because I still have that need for FUN but it happens differently because I got basic stability needs to do and I fit my FUN into all that daily thing. Like I lived a LOT of my basic life not thinking about needs or what's good for me before my mid 30s. Because I didn't have to, I was not on my own til I was married at 29 and even then.....I did not live alone til I was 33 after my marriage ended. I had a lot of growing up to do, and part of that I had to do ALONE and part of that was being HONEST about what I WANT and what I NEED.

Some of it is practical and some of it isnt'. Finding your needs and wants now that your life is not clogged up with the shit that made you crazy at 25 is a whole different and VERY freeing ballgame, guys. Seriously, I DO have more freedom and courage and "fuck you I'm gonna do it my way" attitude than I did 20 years ago. Funny how it's turned out that way.

Permalink Reply by Rosenda on March 29, 2009 at 3:54pm

And for the record............I am not rich. Never have been. Working class-middleclass-surviving is what I'm about and especially here in Los Angeles. It ain't cheap to live here non-extravagantly. And believe me I don't. I'm lucky for what I have and a place to live reasonably. Very lucky. But everything else I had to do myself that's for sure and I still do and it's not easy.

As far as goofing off.................um that's just who I am, in some way. I guess you'd have to ask some of my friends who know. ;)

I think "fucking around" does not go as far or cause you as many problems as it does when you are younger, because most folks are still at their familie's house and they are your backdrop and safety net up to a certain point (and that point is usually jail or prison, honestly). But when you live alone that's it......you learn to think before you act and do some ignorant unnecesary shit to yourself.

But the basic level of "stop fucking around" is usually first when you are on you own and responsible for yourself and you want to keep it that way. OR some life situation FORCES you face changing your life. Dude from 38 to 42 I had to go back to living at my parents house cause my roommate moved and got another job out of town and I could not find another roommate fast enough and I got myself big debts I had to pay off. That was my own doing and it hurt to go there..........for me, THAT PERIOD forced me in SOME ways to stop fucking around in some aspects of my life. It was awful but I'm glad I did it and learned from it.

• ‹ Previous
• 1
• 2
• Next ›
• Page