"Also---what did you guage from Rand that enlightened you about the plight of the best of us? I would really be interested to know why you think the best of us suffer so profoundly? I mean we are all taught, for lack of a better word, that being…"
"...contd..JUST watched the Exorcism of Emily Rose with my mother...(Ms. Macabre herself). We like feeling freaked out. Its genetic. Or a mutation, which could still be genetic. Im sorry you had a bad conversational experience with a member, but know…"
"Yes!!! 5 points to the Horror Fiction writer!!! would you EVER believe that was my first and primary category of literary exposure?? I was and have always been utterly drawn to that stuff, but i was always bright, and my parents were…"
" Hey. Me again with part 2.
No I don't create music. I often wonder how one goes about writing though_ not the lyrics mind you but the music. I even suspect that the reason I have this recurring curiosity is…"
No I don't create music. I often wonder how one goes about writing though_ not the lyrics mind you but the music. I even suspect that the reason I have this recurring curiosity is because some where inside me I believe it's something I could do.
I don't play any musical instruments but I probably could play the drums. I bang on shit all the time.
I'm curious. Your friend Ken, was he white? My friend was_ not that it matters. Didn't like her for that reason.
I just had a fucked up conversation with another AP member. It's a sad world we live in.
Please don't disappear. You are my favorite person here. I like knowing that you're out there.
I write horror fiction and black comedies. I also draw. I paint houses for a living right now but I enjoy this kind of work only for the art of it. I really feel my place is in an artistic line of work. By the grace of Goddess I hope to find it some day.
I don't need to tell you but I'll say it anyway: stay you.
I'm thinking maybe it's a sin to surrender the world to one's enemies.
We have some crazy parallel experiences.
I too lost someone I loved who was a one-in-a-million type. I can honestly say that I am a better person for having known her.
She overdosed on prescription drugs but at one time in her life she had been a nurse and even head nurse at one place_plus, she attempted to kill herself once in her late 20s (drove her car into the side of a speeding train.) so I wonder to this day...
However she was nothing less than a constant inspiration to me. Makes me wonder in light of what you say of your friend, why do the best people have to put up with so much bullshit?
Of course, I have a pretty good idea of the answer to this, Rand taught me well. (I studied her because my life depended on it)
Parallel 2: Maybe I needed to hear about Ken. Before I hopped on the computer I was thinking about suicide. I recognize in myself a part that wants to hurry up and get this shit over with and some times I just let it vent. I believe in thinking what I feel and feeling what I think, that is, I'm not afraid to look at whatever is going on inside and I try to understand it.
I try to understand it because I also have a life-wish. Which brings me back to the idea of it being a sin to surrender the world to one's enemies.
I am suicidal I think because I continue to smoke cigarettes when I know they are hurting me. If I don't stop, they will kill me.
I don't want to die because I'm beginning to think revenge might be more fun. What do I mean by that? Making music like you and Ken made, creating art that fights back, living a life that fights back simply by virtue of going your own way, doing what makes you happy.
Ive reached my word limit. Have to do another post. My post is Atlas Shrugged.
Timeless Mind and Rain Dances are nice jams. Are you doing the vocals? I need music like this. It's like another country, a place I am comfortable in and call home. It's really good to come home after a day out in the land of the same old thing.
Music is powerful medicine. I guess the experimental stuff is the most potent and is for the rare birds that really can't stand the world. It's for those who don't want to make or listen to music that sounds like anything in it.
This country that I call home, it's a long way from Earth.
And by the way, is that your real name? Either way I love it. Sounds like the name of some magical English nanny or some odd-ball friend of Pippi Longstocking. I have a fondness for the off-beat.