Can Kinky Equal Sexy?

The afro. Wow, I don’t know where to begin but I will say this, it’s fucking awesome. Though Blacks are victims to centuries worth of conditioning, I think it’s safe to say that hundreds of years later the fro is rapidly making a comeback... but for how long is it going to stick around this time?

Can Kinky Equal Sexy?

Words Amber Alexander

(Battle of the tresses)

Technically this is just history repeating itself for in the 1960s and 70s, African Americans sported their natural tresses as a way of rejecting western standards of beauty. However, this powerful movement died as quickly as it was born. Thus a risen interest in chemical relaxers, jherri curls, and every weave you can think of became extremely popular. So much for Black pride huh?

In recent years there’s been a sudden change of heart. Not only are an increasing number of average joes on the street proudly wearing their curls and kinks like the olden days, but mainstream celebrities are jumping on the bandwagon as well. R&B singer Chrisette Michele, who went completely bald stated:

“I was tired of black sistas feeling subject to having their hair pressed and straightened, and damaged with relaxers, and heat. So I wanted to make short and nappy hair fashionable, and let the industry know that there is nothing wrong with the texture that we have been born with. So I plan to grow it out to the big beautiful nappy hair that I have."-Chrisette Michele

Sounds dandy and shit, but my real concern is this: Is it just a fad? After all, we still live in a warped society that considers blondes with long hair and blue eyes the ultimate ideal. Only time will tell how long Black women decide to ride this out.

I myself went to hell and back struggling with my hair. I’ve alternated back and forth from natural to straight for my whole life trying to find a style that reflects my true identity. At the early age of eight I was brain washed like many little black girls into thinking my tresses were a ‘curse’.

(No fluffy for Puffy)

A few years down the line, I successfully transitioned back to natural without losing a strand. Mom purchased books on kinky styles to remind me that I looked beautiful the way I was. Junior high was a breeze, experimenting with styles and color; Red, Orange, Blonde, Copper, you name it! I was pretty comfortable in my own skin. But the worst was yet to come.

Fast forward to high school, smack dab in the heart of Brooklyn’s inner city. Apparently my ‘nappy head’ was offensive to others. On multiple occasions, I was called ‘Mufasa’ because of my big Gold mane. Even my best friends at the time ridiculed my hair. I tried my best to ignore it but the insults began to eat away at my emotions. My parents continued to enforce natural beauty in my home but this time around I stopped listening. Images forced down my throat by way of music television in conjunction with ten-inch yaki ponytails overpopulating my school clouded my brain. I had fallen victim to the belief that kinky equaled ugly.

(Uhhhhhh.....)

After much begging my dad gave me money to get a perm. Once I stepped out that salon you couldn’t tell me shit! I thought I was all that and a bag of chips.

Men would gawk, compliment me, or try to get my number. I loved all this newfound attention. Eventually my hair suddenly fell out due to over processing and by senior year I had a short pixie and I HATED it with a passion. For the following two years my hair consistently fell out after transitioning then going right back to relaxers three times in a row.

Finally I said fuck this!

Last year I went in my bathroom mirror took a good look at myself and chopped all my hair off down to its natural state. I felt free at that particular moment but the next day I thought I was the ugliest person on Earth. It seemed like my world turned upside down. The brothas stopped talking to me, strangers stared, pointed, and laughed. But you know what I kept it moving although my self-esteem plummeted. Eight months later here I am with a full head of healthy hair and dammit I’ve never been this happy in my entire life. I no longer have to run from rain or worry about touch ups. I’m proud to say this is ME and I feel ten times more attractive with my kinks.

So I leave you with this question: will kinky hair ever be considered sexy, even if it is well taken care of, fits your personal style, and you’re exuding confidence?

To me, natural hair isn’t just a style, it’s a different texture like any other and for some people a state of mind. Sure, it’s considered a statement in environments where one central idea of beauty is praised but in the real world hair it’s only hair. If Black women continue this pattern of fearlessly donning their kinks and curls at work, in the streets, and more importantly in the media maybe one day it will be apart of the norm.

I have hope.

Tags: afro, afro-punk, alexander, amber, kinky, sexy

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Comment by Ethan Alvin Hill on July 27, 2011 at 9:05pm: Women overdose on concern for their hair. And African-American women wind themselves into very tight balls on the subject of hair.

I'm a guy who shaves his head, but I did so only when my hair went slightly gray, sooooo the social and fashion statements made by hairstyle don't escape me.

After decades observing the practice and debate on African-American women and their hair, I suggest you, yeah you female cousin, decide what looks good on you, and then stick with that look.

Comment by BAASSIK on May 30, 2010 at 1:35am: I am so glad to wear my hair 'natural". I have pressed, Jheri curled (yeah, girl, it was '81 and the thing to do), wrapped...ugh No disrespect to sisters wearing extensions etc, but for me, natural is fine for me. People of Color can rock so many styles...why not the 'Fro?

Comment by Fashionfreak on April 26, 2010 at 12:08pm: another natural hair blog for @rosenda and anyone else who is interested :)

http://fuckyeahnaturalafrohair.tumblr.com/

Comment by Fashionfreak on April 25, 2010 at 5:12pm: @ magi true.

i remember my friend telling me a non-black girl came up to her and said "why isn't your hair straight? that's weird." lol...i found that hilarious but hey i mean if everyone on tv and in the street rocks weaves and perms i'd assume that too lol.

Comment by Magi on April 25, 2010 at 12:26am: I agree. Natural hair is sexy, that is, being true to one's "organic self" communicates confidence, which, I, as a man, find attractive. For centuries, all non-white colonized people have been conditioned to perceive their unique physical traits as inferior to features organic to the dominant, and in many cases oppressive, western civilization. Tha is why we, as black people, in particular, have ostracized other blacks "publicly showcasing" our hair in its natural state to the world, primarily because we, both consciously and subconsciously, believe our "nappy hair" is both ugly and inferior to those of other races. I recall a white guy asking me, "how do you get your hair to stand up?" "Magic", I replied in a perplexed fashion. Short hair cuts for men and weaves/relaxers for women have lead a vast majority of non-blacks, and even some blacks, to not know what black peoples' natural hair texture looks like. Anyways, natural hair is beautiful.

Comment by London Bridgez on April 24, 2010 at 3:41pm: can kinky equal sexy ?? uh DUH yes.

As a woman on my second round of locs. I know that America and perhaps the world loves to tell us how we should be or perhaps how we should look more european or perhaps how we should look like an image that doesnt even exist for europeans sister friends is more accurate.

After all our white friends and colleagues also spend hours in hair salons, nail shops, getting waxed, primmed and perfected to look like whatever Elle, Vogue or Cosmo has convinced them they should aspire to.

Even within the African-American loc community there are weird standards of idealism. I cant count the number of times I have been told "Oh I like your locs... they are clean.. not like SOME Peoples". WTF?? In those moments if I can resist punching them in the throat I try to educate them by saying that how some one chooses to rock their locs is a totally personal sometimes cultural or political choice. A Rasta with massive loced hair can be just as "clean" as my neatly parted with a rat tail comb locs. And Frankly there are days when my parts can't be seen or when I just dont give a flying squirrel whether or not my locs fit your neo soul nubian princess ideal. My parted locs only show up for my performances, special events, batmitzvah's and barely for my birthday. Yes I write poetry but not because I have locs. Yes I am beautiful but not because my locs are cleaner than some one else's.

Yes I am sexy but not because I have locs it is because I know enough not to take just one's beauty concept and apply it to day to day existence. My momma once told he she doesnt birth ugly children so for now I am sticking to my momma's promise while feeling good in my skin because I dont have time to wear any one else's.

Comment by Nikki Lynette on April 24, 2010 at 7:51am: I don't know...I've had dreadlocks for the past 14 years of my life, and I feel sexy as shit. And guys love it. I don't know why. Maybe it because they never have to spend $300 on a honey blond silky-yaki sew in that he'll never be able to touch.

i'm not anti weave or anti blond hair or any of that shit. if your bone straight waist length chestnut brown weave makes u feel like a million bucks, go for it. and if your perm makes u feel like u're trying to live up to an idealized standard of beauty that lends itself to the prolongation of your mental oppression, then cut that shit off and go grab an afro pick.

Comment by Rosenda on April 23, 2010 at 7:20pm: This is my new inspiration and my new fave website is Le Coil for this reason. The naturals and the styles.
I don't know if natural black hair in all its forms and tightness is just a fad, but I think it's permanently PERMANENTLY opened up our options as Black Women. Seriously. :) And I so happy for that. !!

Comment by Rosenda on April 23, 2010 at 7:18pm: Absolutely Beautiful. GREAT blog post.

Comment by Fashionfreak on April 23, 2010 at 3:28pm: thanks for the feedback everyone.

to Nit i appreciate your constructive criticism we are all entitled to opinions.