Self-hate, beauty standards: how do we stop the madness?

Hey guys, although many don't go as far as South African artist Mshoza (pictured below), a lot of people still hurt themselves emotionally when they let unhealthy beauty standards (hair, skin color, etc.) become their own.
Just wanted to get the conversation going. Everyone is somehow affected. How do we make sure that women, men, boys and girls get out of this vicious circle? - Lou C-D

Tags: Black, Bleach, Bleaching, Color, Hair, Of, People, Perm, Skin, Straightening, More…Weave

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Comment by Honey Williams on December 21, 2012 at 10:31pm: I think Black women will be more encouraged to be proud of their skintones and hair textures when...
*most black women have a constant stable father or male role model in their lives to tell them that theyre their short thick afro hair is beautiful and dark black skin is perfect and gorgeous.
*when some young black kids stop bullying black girls about how dark their skintones are, or how nappy or ugly her is.
*when we start seeing sucesssful black men (and other races) wanting to date/marry/have kids with black women and black women who are darker than them, black women with natural hair too.

* when the western world stops brainwashing us all via the media and education since birth that the western ideal of female beauty is white or light/ long straight hair/ slim thin body (and the further you are away from this ideal the less desirable you are)
*when people stop ignoring how racism effects Black women uniquely, throughout the African diaspora.

If you grow up witnessing almost every black guy you know only wanting to have a non-black girl on his arm
all of this speaks volumes as a young black girl it can be very damaging.... is it any wonder that a black woman may not like herself? her afro textured natural hair and her dark skin tone?
when you see a Black woman who does love herself despite all of this its an amazing feat.
Eve said it well in the song 'Black Girl Pain' by Talib Kweli
'.....For surviving thru every lie they put into us now
The world is yours and I swear I will stand focused
Black girls, raise up your hands; the world should clap for us'

Comment by BK_Malik on December 21, 2012 at 6:00pm: When are we going to learn to be proud of our own skin and not want to look like someone else? This is 2012 not slavery days...

Comment by Indiana on December 21, 2012 at 2:18pm: Yes, she does look quite insecure and uncomfortable with herself in the photo to the left. Her smile isn't as wide, her head his lowered and turned slightly nad her shoulders are uneven. The photo of her to the right she looks more american just in general not really "white" she looks like a typical light-skinned american black girl. In a general sense the photo to the left is less attractive because of the lack of presence and confidence. Her skin and surgeries really didn't make much of a difference in her attractiveness as it just did alter her physical appearance. She probably should seek some counseling for her insecurity issues, usually making physical changes doesn't too much help becasue most issues people have are psychological. A psychosis doesn't dissipate with an extreme exchange in physical appearance. If it's based solely on her outward appearance all looks decay, (change) birth given and human reconstructed, so either way she's doomed to be "not so pretty" by society's terms.

Comment by AJ on December 21, 2012 at 2:04pm: It's obvious in the before photo that she doesn't feel beautiful. She might have been the victim of body/beauty shaming in her life and that's why she decided to do something about it. It could have also been cultural or societal pressure that led her to it. If she only did it for her man, then yes she totally needs a shrink!

Comment by SKATEXEDGE on December 21, 2012 at 1:26pm: Also, this woman was not even ugly before! If her man loves her more because of all the procedures she got, then he never did love her in the first place.

Comment by SKATEXEDGE on December 21, 2012 at 1:23pm: Wow. Some people will hate on me for this but the Michael Jackson legacy lives on. Skin bleaching, excessive plastic surgery to make you look more "white" is just sad. Actually seeing a good shrink would be much more beneficial.