analytical williams: open letter to my exes

Heartbreak. Aint it grand. We love and lose for different reasons, but we’ll never be able to keep it until we can accept ourselves. Analytical Williams shares an open letter to her exes. *sniff*

By: Analytical Williams

Dear Ex-Girlfriends,

I’m sorry for keeping you a secret when we were together.  I wasn’t open to being bisexual at the time, so it was hard to tell people who and [what] you really were to me. 

I hadn’t come out to my family yet and I truly didn’t want to be judged.  My selfishness caused me not to think about our relationship and mainly your feelings, and caused me to lose out on a good girl… no once but three times. 

That’s incredibly bad luck for a person who’s selfish, but it was something I deserved for treating you the way I did.  We had a really good relationship, but I couldn’t come to terms with telling my family that I was bisexual in fear of what they would think or even say. 

Each of you were equally beautiful:

The feisty Puerto Rican who kept me on my toes constantly.  She cooked and cleaned for me as well as made sure I got whatever I needed.  She treated me like her wife and made sure I met her whole family.  She often wondered when and why I didn’t come out to my family, and when She realized I wasn’t going to she left without a word.

The Brazilian beauty that kept me in awe.  I loved to watch everything she did.  She used to love trying on clothes for me when I took her shopping, not to mention she bought

And last (but certainly not least) the tomboy-ish Russian with an accent to die for.  Every new hat she bought I’d try to swap with my own, only because I was jealous that she had that hat.  Her body was so fit and beautiful that I had a had time keeping her clothes on when we were alone.  And those skateboarding skills left the guys at the skate park jealous and in awe.

Half the men I dated didn’t measure a candle to any of them.  These women were willing to do anything for me, and yet I couldn’t come to accept them or myself.  I felt as though revealing that I was attracted to men and women was something that I would be judged for most of my life, so I decided to keep men the visible subject.  

Bad part about that: I took each of you for granted and I shouldn’t have.  I’m very sorry for that, and I hope you can forgive me.  If you can’t, I truly can understand.  I wouldn’t want to be taken for granted either.

I’m very sorry,

~Ann