Celebrate Originality, Give The Bird To Bullying

Gravity defying hair, a quirky taste in clothing, and not-so-conventional interests are unique characteristics to be celebrated. It’s not every day you come across someone that stands above the crowd like an ink spot on crisp, white paper. Those very things that make me special however brought me grief. Rather than commemoration I became a victim of what millions of Americans suffer through daily – bullying.

Words by Amber Alexander

Bullying, though often disregarded as simple grade school conflict affects people of all ages, races, creed, and social class. It can happen anywhere from the workplace to even at home where we are supposed to feel most safe. Bullies have a way of using intimidation to manipulate situations, turn allies into enemies, and try to make you feel inferior. Why? Because they are insecure themselves or jealous of something you have that they lack and need someone to pick on to feel powerful. As a result of their selfish behavior, the target then begins to believe maybe they are the problem creating feelings of self-doubt. In a worst case scenario, the target may retaliate in a way that will only cause more harm to themselves.

Since my teenage years I’ve always been the odd man (well in this case woman) out. My timid personality and loud outfits stirred up strange reactions from peers and I hated it. Naïve old I, actually believed I would escape the madness in adulthood but boy was I wrong. Years later in my early twenties I find myself still battling mean-spirited colleagues who spend their valuable time criticizing others. I’m the butt of jokes, nasty rumors, demeaning tasks, and overall treated unfairly due to people’s personal grudges against me stemmed from ignorant misconceptions. Whatever happened to getting to know a person?

I say take a stand, speak up, and stay true. No one deserves to feel isolated. Most of all, fuck the naysayers because all they do is yap and unfortunately these types of people are going absolutely nowhere. You have to have a back bone and realize you are better than petty drama. Once you are happy with who you are, everyone else’s opinions and sucky attitude towards you will no longer matter. In the words of Eleanor Roosevelt “No one can make your feel inferior without your consent.” The choice is yours.

Amber Alexander's website: beautyandthestreet.net

Image from 25mag.com

Please share your thoughts in the comments below. Have you ever been bullied / been a bully?

Tags: Bully, Bullying

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Comment by X-D-D-M*9 on September 30, 2011 at 10:54am: I work the universal ground zero of bullying, junior high school. I address this nonsense as much as I can daily without losing mind or my voice, telling children to 'chill', 'break it up', 'mind your business', 'do you want top be written up?', etc. all day. It has become such a daliy part of the youth to adult experience that we often don't think about how psychologicly damaging it can be.

My school is the same one I went to 3 decades ago and the impact of the bullying I edured there still left emotional scars. I recall the specific individuals and truly have a hard time forgiving them for the casual (to them) taunting I went through even though I have not seen or heard of them for 2 and half decades. What's worse is I didn't get it nearly as bad as other students who were harassed about their clothing, hair, clique, family, voice, awkwardness, neighborhood, grades, physique, music tastes, etc.

A student who was cool with our class last year decided that he was too cool for our 'special needs' class and was teasing a few in the hallway. One of our staff saw him and brought him to our class. I can't lie, I gave him a hard time and made him stand in front of the class apologize a few times for that. He was trembling when he left. Maybe I was bullying the bully, I don't know.

Did that come from my past? Possibly so but more likely because special needs students have less defenses in this environment. Yes we do have to stand up against this and for ourselves.

Comment by taryn m on August 30, 2011 at 2:02pm: thanks i needed this. nothing disturbs me more than when people rally together like a pack of wolves against someone who they perceive to be weak. its groupthink and it really pisses me off. think for yourselves! stop following the herd! dont pick on people who choose not to! its none of people's business what you wear. if it offends them they shouldnt look.

Comment by Chris Asrk-pa El on August 30, 2011 at 6:08am: That quote is true..for that time period, but with all of these cell towers around....

Comment by RebeKah on August 30, 2011 at 3:41am: it only takes one person to speak up. i learned how to be that person after realizing i was wrong for NOT doing anything but watching, and because it hurts to my core to see anyone bullied, mistreated. i can't help- it never could. i'm teaching my kids the same. if more ppl did it, the bully's "power" is taken away. i'm 5'0 (my first thoughts aren't to fight, but i will ) but i knew how to use my humor & wit, which can be severe, by giving the bully a verbal pounding. it works too.

Comment by miss_scarlett on August 30, 2011 at 12:00am: I've always been an individual that people attempted to pick on (chubby, glasses, braces, nerdy, etc.) but they didn't bet on the other factor, I was athletic strong and mean as shit :0) i pretty much became a bully-beater. You made anyone feel bad about themselves... i one-up'd em. one obnoxious, rich girl who talked to everyone like slaves, was shamed into submission by wonderful one-hit wonders such as 'im dreaming of a dancing poodle' (for her poofy du) written and performed by, yours truly. i found out a few years ago, a little girl was named after me because i beat up the bullies who taunted her very intelligent mom from my physics class. yaaaay meeee! lmaoooo whuppassin to the bullies!!!!

Comment by Albert Frankenstein on August 29, 2011 at 11:23pm: Amber, check out this article I found some years back. It explains A LOT!: http://www.paulgraham.com/nerds.html

Comment by Lunakiss on August 29, 2011 at 6:44pm: Yes I have been bullied. Some of those bullers ended up in jail or dead. Some of my family members have been bullied too. Their lives did not go in a positive direction. It's all about how you rise above it. Ignore them like they don't exist.