Dear AfroPunk,

So listen, I know we had a really good thing going last year.
I know I've been gone for a while, and although I might not say anything when I pass you in the street, I do miss the hell out of you as I watch you walk by. So please, don't doubt my sincerity when I say that I love you. But see, one day I couldn't get here anymore and I met this new chick standing on the corner. I know you can guess what's coming; after all, you stole me from MySpace so you know I get distracted super easily. So anyway, this new chick, FaceBook, she enticed me and wooed me, and I tried to be strong, but I looked up one day and I hadn't been back to check on you for months. And that was wrong of me. After all, you were the first place I really got gully with my emotions for all too see, and you'll always be special for that. So now this Facebook bitch, she's putting all my business out in the streets. I got people walking up on me and shit when I'm downtown thinking they know me because they "like" my status updates. It's not cool. So I'm trying to cut her off. I swear to God I am. See I want...no, I NEED to work on us. You complete me.

I love you, AfroPunk.
It's always been you.
I was just too stupid to see it then, but I see it now.

And listen, I know you're going to wonder, so I'll just tell you flat out. NO, I didn't fuck her.
I just let her eat me out.


So Baby, unlock the door. I'm coming home.

-Sugar Tits