... the other Black experience

Would you ever date someone heavier than you (guy or girl)? The other night I was just searching around the web like I usually do when I can't sleep, and stumbled upon some message boards where females asked men "Is 5'5 180lbs too big?" "Do men consider 5'7 190lbs too fat?" "I'm 160lbs, am I thick... do guys like thick girls?". I'm not going to lie, I'm not skinny by ANY means. I'm thick, but I don't consider myself fat. A lot of guys on these boards were so... so... shallow! I was so angry I had to shut off my laptop.

Words by Kia Jay

A. People distribute their weight differently. You can be 5'5 and 160lb and not even look it and then there are some who look unhealthy.
B. The average American woman is 5'8 I believe and like 150-160, about a size 12-14. How is that big?!?
C. Short and thick does NOT equal fat...

Why do we idealize thinness? Is being average size/weight really a turn off? I have a theory... the guys who are the shallowest probably have nothing to offer themselves. I understand that sexual attraction is what draws two people to each other in the first place but there is a fine line between sexual attraction and just wanting a "trophy" girlfriend on your arm. In that case I want a Reggie Bush on my arm (-__-) I have had insecure moments where I dated guys my weight or a little smaller but it was not that big of a deal, and those who found me "fat" were just shallow, douche bags who dated girls that wore makeup 24/7 and got made up for classes like they were going to the club! lol I was just too down to Earth I suppose =P.. I could go on and on all day lol.

I would like to hear others opinions... Is weight/size really THAT BIG of a deal when it comes to dating someone? Is it all about arm candy? How much is too much?

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Comment by Ethan Alvin Hill on July 14, 2011 at 4:11pm

For a fact, African-American women Amaze me if they are size 12 - 14 . The two women I might had married well were somewhere between size 16 and size20 when I knew each.

Contemporary consumer culture has made a fetish of "skinny" women. I have many intellectual insights on this question, but my only heart-based response is I've preferred the "plump" female my entire life. Within that subset of females, I have rigid likes, but skinny women, unless they are tall, don't even register in my imagination.

Comment by Bosanova Bill on July 14, 2011 at 1:05pm
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Comment by mia monroe on July 13, 2011 at 9:39pm
Naw not really just don't be like well over 200 lbs u know because u may crush me when its time to get down word
Comment by Mäkkonen on July 13, 2011 at 5:29am
I don't think i could date a skinny woman. Just for fear of being stabbed with a sharp elbow or something of the sort. But who know? :/
Comment by Carly Zuniga on July 12, 2011 at 11:15pm
We live in a society that has taught and showed us that SIZE does matter and it's sad. Plus,some people have preference. For example, I love to eat healthy and exercise so when I date someone I want to date someone who has the same lifestyle like I do. Don't get me wrong I dated guys from different sizes but we all have a preference of what type of guys or girls we want date. It is true some guys can be asshole and douch bags about women weight but we can't lie that women have done the same.
Comment by Mamadoc on July 12, 2011 at 9:30am
I've been a big girl since I was a girl and have always dated men thinner than myself. I am pretty active though and work out 4-5 times a week so if I am approached by a bigger guy, I do usually immediately wonder if he'd be willing to work out with me. I wonder whether he'll want to walk the city with me when we travel and I wonder if that special time will always be brief.
Comment by Lone Buddha on July 12, 2011 at 8:51am
I've always had an affinity for men with a bit of weight or build. Don't get me wrong, there's some beautiful slim brothers out here and I've dated some (even being a thick & curvy size 14/16 girl myself) but attraction wise I just prefer a man with a little meat on his bones. I want something to hold on to..more in line with myself. I tell my boyfriend all the time I thank God for his parent's Mississippi roots cuz he's built perfectly for me.  I don't knock slender men but for me it feels weird holding a skinny I want some thick legs and thighs and broad shoulders and whatnot. We all have our preferences but no need to rip folks up for not meeting our expectations, just move on to the rest of the buffet. One man's hamburger is another man's filet mignon, sweetheart.
Comment by D.JMeasel on July 12, 2011 at 1:28am
Im 230 Black bearded and bearly and the ladies LOVES it..............................
Comment by Kodachi on July 11, 2011 at 10:22pm
I don't care for weight so long the guy is decent. My ex was a big boy, my crush before him had weight, etc etc. It doesn't matter to me
Comment by paul pelt on July 11, 2011 at 10:18pm
Like many things in life it depends on how you carry it I guess. Carry yourself w/ pride (the good kind) and positivity and the right person will see your beauty.


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