If You Dare Listen...

Right now, I'm listening to the last track from Utada Hikaru's "Single Collection Volume 2"; Show Me Love (Not A Dream), which her usual flurry of J-Pop with an unsual set of distorted guitars, which is sort of a throw back to Uso Mitai Na (I Love You) etc. Needless to say I grew up listening to Japanese music (Since 1998...), obviously being "Sansei" (third generation) and all. Proudly I state that being a fact that I may as well be all for Katana's and Kimono's I actually claim my ancestry through the women (choosing to leave my grandfather (Nikei), and my father (African-American) out of this one), tracing it through the west African "Mende" tribe called the "KPELLE" people who reside in Eastern Liberia and Western Guinea. "Say It Loud, and Black and Proud"; but race has never really played a part in my choice of music, let alone my choice to make music. I'd have to admit that right away I was drawn into "Folkish-Pop" music to begin with at the tender of four, when I took an immense liking to Enya's "Sail Away"; which is actually "New Age", but if you catch my drift you start to understand how that paved a path towards artists like Natalie Merchant, the second coming of Alanis Morissette, Dido, etc. Thanks to my mom's choice of "Light Rock"; Long story short puberty came along, and my undying love for Alanis' angsty voice plus a new addition of Nu Metal choices such as David Draiman of "Disturbed", "Slip Knot", and one of my favorite voices ever, Chino Moreno, of Deftones, not to mention a nostaglic throwback to the 90's with Grunge acts such as Nirvana, Pearl Jam and their post-grunge followers such as Creed in my opinion provided for a valid inspiration to record an album of my own. 

The question goes back to; "Can You Sing?" A question my parents have asked me since the dawn of time as if they knew I where planning this. I was eleven years old, it was the y2k. I felt I could somewhere in there but I really wasn't too sure where to start. On my way to and from school Dido's "No Angel"(1999) usually played it's way from the Roswell theme to the uplifting heavenly bonus dance track daily. Thus came the talent show at the local elementary school. What was a thinking? My turn came a little bit too quickly, and on the stage I went. "I didn't hear you leave..." I sung, a few snickers followed. I recognized those snickers as a couple of childhood friends who couldn't believe I was doing this, I was only an eleven year old untrained singer. "I don't wanna call my friends..." I cannot see into the crowd due to a trick of the light, it is black. My shoes are a very appealing view. "And I wont go..."  Was that a chest note C#? "Until Your Resting Here With Me...." Nice Falsetto I think? What's that sound? They're clapping? A Whistle? But the song isn't even done yet.

"Oh, I Am What I Am..."

"Until You're Resting Here With Me,.."

I snap out of it when I get home, I won first place.

My parents who weren't present wear the song out with the neighbors, extended family member's etc. Only i return to school the following semester and I am herded off into "Singing Lessons" with a lovely instructor named "Mrs. Anderson. They're sure I'm to be a tenor. Puberty comes. I'm a Baritone, a Verdi Baritone. If I decided to study Opera 9.9/10 times I'd be a murderous villain of some sort. But I don't study Opera, I went to study classical Instruments (Contra Bass and Cello) and classical voice, and three fantasy novels. Shortly there after, I start writing, lyrics this time. In my Journal two years before that. I know nothing of "songwriting" other then what I've herd and what I've listened to. So I reproduce my version of such. For everyone who has ever teased me came the tale of "Nothing Sweeter", for every-time a parent wrongly scolded a child came "things", I wrote for six months straight, before I went into the studio and worked as my own producer. Thus creating Nothing Sweeter, it doesn't get very many spins. As I was very inexperienced at the time. Regrets? I have absolutely no regrets of it. Although it takes a vast understanding of music theory to be understood, the album did spit out a minor-indie hit, the title track; "Nothing Sweeter", slowly inched it's way up to #24 on Indie-Brit Pop Charts on indie-music.com and is still around number #45 since last year. It maintains spins on their daily podcasts. A low budget music video was short for "Nothing Sweeter" as with a favorite of mine from the album called "Fright Or Panic". I've tried to submit other tracks from the 14 track album but none of them charted significantly. Personally I do maintain a few performance favorites from that album (that sound better live) such as "Apart" and "Social Life Pt:2". The album itself on indie-charts didn't climb above #185. Is this some sort of horrible mistake? Me; choosing to play most of the instruments, write the songs, and nonetheless sing all of my vocals? Not at all, I prize "Nothing Sweeter" as one of my best accomplishments although musically it is alien alongside other competing artists and possibly anything you've ever heard. Strangely enough, I didn't find a vendor, label, etc to release the album which had been finished in 2007-2008 until 2010 when it was released. Determined to have a higher level of reciprocity, I wrote all of 2009 in between starting a new college, and doing a couple of temp in-between jobs and playing a couple of shows and a hundred voice lessons, and the death of my mother from metastatic breast cancer. I wrote on the surface. Being a theater major and all, you have to learn to loose your inhibitions. Meaning, at the time I wasn't ready, and I knew I wasn't ready to share that I absolutely felt like shit, I wrote around the elephant in the room. All of my friends and family where asking questions like; "Aren't you gonna write a song about what happened?" 

Not just yet.

I needed the escape, I needed to know if I can assume a character and leave all of my dirty laundry outside of the door. Growing up upper middle class, I did get to hob-nob and learn about Socialiting etc, and usually when asked about it usually I'd summon the fifth amendment. Until now, I think the track listing speaks for itself; "Socialite Party, 21st Century Vampire, After The Party, The Wondrous Toil, The Streets Of Monaco, Mercedes Benz" And yes, that is my version of Janis Joplin's "Mercedes Benz" The album is due later on next month, and the two leading singles "Socialite Party" and "21st Century Vampire" (available on i-tunes, and napster) cater to the Industrial-Goth crowd . Although I choose to write on the surface, par-say the inner pain still shows through. In my opinion, the vocals sound "gritty" as Baritone are known for their "rough" sounding voices. I'll tell you a secret of mine, most of the tracks when recorded the main vocal was not set until 1-4 a.m.; so do I sound tired, no? Maybe a little drunk and pissed off. Slightly, you be the judge of that. I was aiming for this record "Socialite" for a more "Pop" sound which turned out very "Industrial/Goth/Experimental" as my brother refers to as "demon-music". They're all first take songs, with no do-overs. I wanted to capture the emotion regardless of how erroneously the note resonates and add it to my collection. So in an attempt to leave my dirty laundry outside, I put it on sale cloaked behind the lyrics of a "Socialite Party". Personally, it's my dirty laundry, not a Pop product. As for the following album, I've met a pretty awesome producer who has worked with Beyonce, Madonna, and the Foo Fighters. We're talking something that maybe this time people can dance to. As for "Socialite"

If you dare listen, it wont be a disappointment.