Fashion
intolerance in the natural hair community
Intolerance in the natural hair community
By G G, Contributing Writer for BGLHonline
When I discovered the natural hair community online, I felt as if I’d been living under a rock. Where had I been?? With all of the resources and testimonials available online, I probably would have gone natural long ago had I discovered all of this information sooner. With that said, I’m glad that I didn’t tune in until I was at the end of my transition. My decision was completely self-involved and uninfluenced. That is important to me because my journey was very personal and linked to a significant change in my outlook on life.
Once I came out of my cave and tapped into the network of natural hair resources online, I saw that I wasn’t the only one experiencing this liberating change in perspective. I read stories about women like me who were becoming more self-aware and confident as they transitioned or big chopped. To my dismay, I also saw many women using the relaxed vs. natural debate as a way to cast judgment and label each other. At one extreme, some natural hair advocates believe that black women who relax their hair are unevolved and don’t love themselves. At the other extreme, you have relaxed black women who view natural hair and the women who rock it as unsophisticated and unkempt.
School Daze, anyone?
I don’t intend to play down the significant impact of the hair debate on women in the black community. I am aware of the implications and deep rooted emotions. I know there’s a need for discussion about the self-esteem issues, cultural stereotypes and pigeon holes. But we should all check ourselves for any degree of intolerance that may be influencing our attitudes in these discussions. Diversity of opinion benefits everyone and is necessary to avoid group thinking. As women of color, we are all shades, textures and sizes of beautiful and our capacity to be open-minded with each other will only make us a stronger force in the world.
So, while I want my two daughters to feel beautiful with their hair in its natural state, I also want them to know that they have choices. They can wear their hair however they want and still be authentic and beautiful. I don’t want them to define themselves by anything but character. All tangible things like hair, clothes, skin, shape – the things that define beauty for many people – are guaranteed to pass away. We should enjoy what we’ve been blessed with and have fun with it while we have it. Our preoccupation with the physical will only result in egotistical thinking which is counter intuitive to inner beauty and sisterhood.
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