... the other Black experience
Is loneliness a part of the afro-punk experience? Or is being an afro-punk a part of the lonely experience? These are two of the many questions that come to mind on a day to day basis. I've become so used to being the oddball in most situations that I tend to shy away from highly social environments.
Lonely Afropunk
Words by Amber Alexander
Sure, it is difficult meeting people who share mutual interests on a general scale. But try being a timid young black woman sandwiched between clashing worlds that equally influence her existence yet none of them are accepting. Someone who is constantly criticized and judged for everything by everyone from her taste in music to personal beliefs. Someone who can't simply be herself without being scrutinized. Someone who can't walk into a record store with a skull scarf wrapped around her neck without being stared down by some goth kids, wear her hair freely in an afro at work, be nice without being jerked around, or find a cute black guy who appreciates her dorkiness. 
Eventually one gets so tired of it all that giving up seems like the best option. However we are all going to die someday, and who wants to spend their time here wallowing in misery while 'I'm Broken' by Pantera blasts in the background? The harsh reality is America isn't quite ready for afro-punks and as a result many of us are left with feelings of rejection, isolation, and overall frustration which can leave pretty lasting affects. I even once pondered what my life would be like if I simply got a perm, put on 'regular' clothes, and hung out with fools who care about nothing more than themselves. What the hell was I thinking? In true corny sincerity I say embrace your differences even if no one else does. Being alone is pretty boring at times but it's not all bad I guess. You don't have to share your oreo cookies or worry about getting your band tee shirts back.
Comment
Comment by DeAndre Woods on May 6, 2011 at 5:50am thats a good way to see it you dont have to worry about loaning nobody your shit or them breaking anything a word of advice if you actually care to take stay confident they see your different an confident they''ll jus gravitate to you and might even try to copy your style how do you thinks trendz were set they stare because they think your an art in livin flesh
Loneliness. This is a demon I know well. Sometimes being alone is a rich pleasure, at other times it just hurts like hell. One does what one can and hopes for the best.
Not the best answer but the best I can do.
Comment by Darkness Unlimited* on April 14, 2011 at 4:34pm @ Markwright,
Sure, it's fucking Paradise here if you're a hipster who just happens to LOOOVE that bullshit "Indie" rock, which is really the new "Alternative" which is basically the latest in commercial rock, which is pretty-much to say, if you're just like everyone else then you listen to the same bullshit as everyone else, at which point why would i be here in the first place?
@ Fashionfreak,
Word.
Comment by Fashionfreak on April 14, 2011 at 12:04am 
Comment by Mark Wright on April 13, 2011 at 4:48pm Comment by Darkness Unlimited* on April 13, 2011 at 1:09pm
Yeah yeah, story ov my life too. Whatever. Regarding the entire content ov this blog, how many times have i narrated my own relating story inside my head - just today? Countless times, overall. I'm just... a little over it by now. I've come to accept certain realities & i'm pretty much fine with that. I know who the fuck i am & i'm definitely fine with that. No self-hate here. People are [for the most part] worthless, anyways. Yall have to realize that. Afew folks are cool, but most (i'm talkin' around 90%) are fucking worthless. I suggest those ov us here stick to what tiny circle ov friends we've got. And if you don't have any at all... that ain't so bad either.
A little 'alone time' never hurt anyone. And happiness - whatever the fuck that is - is waaay overrated anyways. People take these things like 'happiness' & 'love' & put them on a pedestal made ov fucking gold & they become, like, this ultimate shit that EVERYONE must obtain or else they'll die in misery & go to a very sad place where they'll be alone for eternity. Pffft, whatever. Do what you can to make YOURSELF happy. Be selfish. BE SELFISH. And handle your own shit the way you need to. And there's nothing wrong with using other people in order to get what you want/need either - that's what they're there for. Yall take care ov all that, you'll do just fine. What more do you want?
I would like to say though, it kinda sucks that apparently NONE ov you stay here in Portland, OR. It seems like most ov US here stay in LA, Chicago, Atlanta, Philly, Detroit, NYC, Seattle, Huston, the Coasts & the filthy awful nasty South.
Comment by Kaminelana Cheatem on April 12, 2011 at 8:18pm @Deacon -- Outdoorsy is good. I hope he's found some relief and a renewed presence in life with a shift in environments. Seattle is a bit on the gray and rainy side, but it does have some cool stuff and social services connections around town.
@MarkWright -- Thank you for your kind words, and I want to reflect them right back to you and everyone else here who took the time to respond and share their stories and supportive, constructive words. Who knows how many people are soaking up the energy in this thread and really, really needed to hear something positive and hopeful about dealing with loneliness -- especially the kids and others living in really closed/homogeneous communities like Isaac's. This is a great example of what a helpful tool the net and social networks can be in connecting like minds from all corners of this crazy nation/world. There is hope.
Comment by Kurojira Uzumaki on April 12, 2011 at 7:11pm 
Comment by The Deacon on April 12, 2011 at 5:45pm @bowerybetty, the kid I mentioned moved away. Can't remember what state he moved to, but I think he mentioned Seattle. Basically he was looking for an outdoorsy sort of state.
@FashionFreak, don't sweat it. You're not ugly, far from it. That's just kids being mean spirited. I think Andrew said it best, "Take a cue from your situation and realize you were meant to LEAD". How many geniuses in music and fashion that broke new ground but didn't fit in as kids. Being normal and fitting in is boring.
Comment by Mark Wright on April 12, 2011 at 5:40pm while loneliness is a hallmark of the human experience in general, it definitely seems to be a package deal in the afropunk community - pretty much every afropunk i've met/become friends w/seems to be of the extremely intelligent adorably nerdy girl variety that doesn't fit comfortably into any of the sterotypes that other peoples use to try and define her...with me, i guess it was easier - somewhat - back in the day...i grew up in new mexico, so the general majority of my friends were brown/latino - i can count on both hands all the bruthas + sistas i went to school with on both hands, but i also grew up in a small farming/railroad town south of albuquerque...but, the one bond almost all of us had was that we were all skaters, listened to a lot of the same music, and we were all just a general bunch of fuck ups stuck in a small town for the time being...not to sound cliche, but it does get better...
@ bowerybetty - you are about amazing + the world needs more people like you...
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