AFROPUNK

... the other Black experience

Working nights definitely has it’s advantages; not having to fight rush-hour traffic, no-stress 3 AM shopping, and the ability to watch afternoon talk shows without being unemployed.
Perhaps it is because I am not an unemployed welfare-mother that I take a special interest in the names that Maury Povich show guests saddle their young’uns with. It’s not enough, I guess, that your mother can’t figure out which one of 15 men she slept with in a 2-day period is your father, or that she has no problem with comparing their penises with your tiny baby penis, or even that all the potential fathers are so happy to not be your father after the paternity test, that they do a touchdown dance complete with back-flips, profanity, and hand slaps all around. No, to top it all off, your mother had to extra-ruin your life by naming you something like Snoog.
I’m not a perfect person, but watching these shows help me to realize that at least I’m a good enough person not to name my daughter “Honey”.
What follows is a list of names, given to children, by their Maury show guest parents.
Male;
(*)Connotes white trash name
(**) parent(s) should be beaten
Aiden*
Arik
Armani
Brealand
Breeze**
Bubba*
Cemerious
Chaunce (chawn-say)
Colione (like Corleone)
Cordarlyl
Coz
Cyntonio (sin-tone-ee-o)
Cyntrell **
Dahaan
Da'mari
Dariyon
Davonne
De antre
De shyland
De'antree (d-entrée)
Debo ** (dee-boe)
Del mase
Delite (delight)
Delmontre
De'marlow
Deville
Diondre
Domenick *
Donte (Dante)
Donyae (don-yay)
Earnell
Elante (ee-lahn-tay)
Gaige*
Hakee (ha-key)
Hazzar
Ja mean
Jalen
Jamar
Jameer
Ja'quai
Javion-Raytrell **
Jaylan
Jaylon
Juwan
Ke mauri
Kemo
Kemonte
Keyman
Kidd
K'veon
La Quinton **
Lakendrie
Latrell
LeBaron
Levron
Markettice
Markevair (mar-kay-vee-air)
Markice (mar-keece)
Namanuel
Nazijhir ** (Nazhir)
Nuri
Puba
Quadrai (Kwahd-Ray)
Qualan (quay-lahn)
Quintum
Raffe * (raife)
Rhaquann (ra-kwahn)
Rashard
Ravann
Scooby
Snoog
Timboo **
Traveon (tray-vee-ahn)
Trayvon (tray-vahn)
Trevion (tray-vee-ahn)
Tyron
Tywas
Tywrell
Xzavion (zay-vee-ahn)
Zayvion (zay-vee-ahn)
Female;
(*) Connotes white trash name
(**)Connotes future stripper
(***)Connotes materialism)
Ahriyel (ah-ree-el)
Alahnie (ah-lah-knee)
Alexzia (ah-lecks-see-uh)
Almarita (al-ma-ree-tah)
Ameera (ah-me-rah)
Anannie (ah-nah-knee)
Anaya (ah-nye-uh)
Anitra
Anniesha (ah-knee-sha)
Atouria (ah-tore-ee-uh)
Attoria
Avian ***
Azziria (ah-zee-ree-uh)
Breasia (bray-shuh)
Brooklyn*
Ca mya (kuh-my-uh)
Caydencee* (cay-dence)
Chade (shah-day)
Charnika (shar-knee-kuh)
Chekevia (sha-kay-vee-uh)
Chrystal (crystal)
Chynecia-chantell (chy-knee-cee-uh-shan-tell)
Cortnie
Darchae (dar-shay)
Datiana (dah-tee-ah-nuh)
Da'vonne (dah-von)
Destiney **
Deuangela (dew-angela)
Doncrita (dawn-cree-tuh)
Djuanique (Dee-wahn-neek)
Dreeka
Dymond ** (***) (diamond)
Ebonee **
Edcota
Esmeralda
Eternity **
Fantasia
Fayth* (**)
Forever **
Harley*
Heaven **
Honeem **
Inasence ** (Innocence)
Jaclyn
Jaila (jail-uh)
Jamirah (jah-mee-ruh)
Janiya (jah-nye-uh)
Jazellene (jah-zuh-leen)
Jazmilly (jaz-milly)
Jewells ***
Jontia (parents Jon and Tia)
Jonajah (ja-nay-shuh)
Kamacia (kuh-may-cee-uh)
Kehonia (key-own-ee-uh)
Kenyetta
Khanesia (ka-knee-see-ah)
Kinnettia (kin-net-shuh)
Kyesha (kye-ee-sha)
La jetia (la-gee-sha)
La shawn
Lakesha (la-key-sha)
Lashawn
Lashunda
Leha (lee-uh)
Leiara (lee-ah-ruh)
Letitia (luh-tee-sha)
Mariyah (Mariah)
Mckenna *
Mechelle *
Mioshea (me-oh-shay)
Montanna*
Moteisha (mo-tee-sha)
Moyiesha (moy-ee-sha)
Moyisha (moy-ee-sha)
Nakia (nuh-kee-uh)
Nashya (nuh-shy-uh)
Na'tae (nuh-tay)
Nataleigh* (Natalie)
Nevaeh *(heaven backwards) **(Bubba's Daughter)
Nyasia (Nye-asia)
Nyeasia (nye-asia)
Nyeesha (nye-ee-shuh)
Nykayla (na-kay-luh)
Otisteen (o-tis-teen)
Princess-Chakaya
Qyaira (o-yi-ruh)
Rayshawn
Ricktoria
Samara (suh-mih-ruh)
Samya (sa-my-yuh)
Saniyyah (suh-nye-uh)
Sanquenetta (san-quin-et-uh)
Schic (sheik)
Sha diamond ***
Sha'hollinie (shah-ha-leh-nay)
Shamella (shah-meh-lah)
Shamonique (sha-mo-neek)
Shanay (shah-nay)
Shante
Shardae (shar-day)
Sharnita (shar-knee-tuh)
Shawmika (shaw-mee-kuh)
Shawnalee
Shawnteona (shawn-tee-own-uh)
Shemica (shuh-mee-kuh)
Sherlitra
Shevetta
Sholonda
Shray
Sinquita (sin-quit-uh)
Spirit **
Spiritual **
Stefany (*) ** (Stephanie)
Tabethur (tab-ith-ur)
Taisha (tye-ee-shuh)
Tamika
Taneekua (ta-knee-kwuh)
Ta'neisseya (tuh-knee-see-yuh)
Tatiana-Ontavia (tah-tee-ah-nuh –ahn-tay-vee-uh)
Ta'tianna (tah-tee-ah-nuh)
Teaunyia (tee-ahn-ee-yuh)
Te'johnne
Tennessee*
Tesha
Tia Wanna **
Tiannuh (tee-ah-nuh)
Tiny
Tiwanna (Tiajuana)
Tkara (tuh-ka-ruh)
Torica
Treasure ** (***)
Tywanda
Uniqua (yew-knee-kwuh)
Unique **
Vichele (vih-chel)
Virgen **
Vondelere (von-duh-leer)
Yazmin
Zakeela
Zarriah (zuh-rye-uh)
Zieyanna
Zoesha (zoe-ee-shuh)
Honorable mention (names heard on other daytime shows)
Dijnae (Female pronounced Dijon-ay)
Yahauntas (female pronounced yah-ha-han-tus)

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Comment by LesYpersound on August 7, 2011 at 6:53pm
Tia Wanna is the best.


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