OLD SKOOL PUNK SHARES HIS RANDOM THOUGHTS...

You guys are lucky, being in this time and place...I am in my 40's, and as a young mohawked (both 'frohawk and dread 'hawk) punk in the early 80's growing up in the most northern section of South Central Los Angeles, a lot of my time was spent being harassed by the police (this actually occurred everywhere I went, in OR out of the 'hood), harassed by gangstas (I was lucky enough to discourage local thugs with beatings when they fucked with me and also getting a rep around my local 'hood by talking shit to one while he had a pistol stuck in my face), and enduring the stares of hatred from other blacks and hispanics and even whites as I walked down the street. Even at gigs I spent a lot of time dealing with racist whites, even before the skinhead phenomenon got legs. The only blacks I generally saw at shows besides myself were the guys from Fishbone, and as not a one of them or their friends and crew were under six feet no one really fucked with them, they rolled at least ten to fifteen deep and looked gangsterish still!

I got my first tattoo in 1984, and it was supposed to represent rebellion at its finest...back then you were considered a real degenerate and anti-societal type if you had tats...if I knew that all these damn rappers and athletes would be getting them to be cool and trendy, I don't know that I ever would have gotten a single one (although I think it is VERY cool that a whole defiant tat/body mod culture exists beyond all that b.s.; again, back in the day it was so REEEALLY underground I never thought it would have the day in the sun it's enjoying now!).

A lot of these trendy types that get tats now were the same ones (or have the same personalities) as the ones who were trying to kick my ass and calling me "white boy" and "freak" back in the day! Useless, weak-willed followers who mindlessly go in whatever direction the wind blows instead of heading into the eye of the hurricane!

I am in awe and shocked when I see a beautiful black sista with tats and/or other body modifications. The sad thing is that if I am wearing a long sleeved shirt or the tats on my head are covered with a smudge of hair, a lot of them think I am looking at them in disdain or lack of approval when in truth it is with admiration, respect and even desire at times! They look like the most beautiful women in the world to me and I want to tell them what a SEVERE minority they were in the scene when I was coming up! And those few that were in the scene usually wanted to date white dudes, which often left me shit out of luck and dating white chicks ironically more by default than desire!

Same with the young fellers...I want to just stop and talk to them and find out what their experience growing up outside of what the expectation was for them culturally as black men. I have yet to do this, as I don't want to look like some weirdo old freak who might scare them, but one day I will brave the storm to do it! Although I am learning a lot meeting the young people who have come to my band's shows and reading the message boards here!

I even appreciate the friend adds and love being shown to me through like-minded brothas and sistas I see both here and and on urb alt and myspace. Seeing all this--along with a black president (although I am reeeeeeeeeeeally hoping now that he is in he will truly make a difference, the hype is over and it's time to get to work!!)--has given me some kind of hope for the future, 'cause it is certain nothing I ever expected to see in my lifetime! I remember as a black punk feeling alone and isolated, because so few of us networked back in the day. It seemed more important for most black punks to impress their white friends by proving to them that they were down and not wanting to appear to be too black or have black associates of any type. A site like this, and a lot of the younger folks I am meeting through all this, really make me want to cry....