restated

so i realized. and i probably said this before. but as i go on in life that things become more clear than they were before. interracial relationships are easy if the male is black. but if the female is. then there will be problems. well in my case that is. i've come to realize that the dating part is not a problem, its just the part where the guy does not want u to be his girfriend if ur black. thats just what has been my history and i have just recently come to accept it. so i'm just reminding myself before that moments of hope keep flickering back where i think i could expect something. i just have to keep a level head and remember that its not real. dont believe it. and so i just have to keep moving. just like with everything else.

its not like i dont get guys approaching me. but when i mention something there's always this excuse "i'm not ready for a relationship" or some other bullshit. but then a week later he's got a girlfriend or something. but she's of the same race. and thats really what it was about. sigh. so long. and thanks for all the sex is basically whats the deal. its a shitty hand, but its what i've been dealt. i've been told that i am white woman, but i've got the darkest tan apparently. and my nose is kinda apparently black so its an off-joke. i dunno. FML