snapped out of ratchet: au trinidad james… how i loved you.

We all have our vices and guilty pleasures– JUDGE YE NOT! For AFROPUNK contributor Henny Harmon, her hot candy (hot candy: music that is void of nutrition or value but is just delicious because our mothers never let us listen to it) goes by the name of Trinidad Jame$. Perhaps you’ve heard of the Atlanta #GOLDGANG rapper who is making quite a splash on the internet! With nods from Erykah Badu and Busta Rhymes we sent Henny to check out Jame$’ NYC show this past Tuesday. Bubbles were bust…

By: Henny X. Harmon

December 4, 2012 was marked on my calendar like it was my wedding date! Anything for Trinidad Jame$ I thought. I loved this man and the gold footprints he was leaving on the game. You couldn’t tell me SHIT about this dude. I went as far as tweeting him telling him something along the lines of “gimme that midas touch”…my mind is a lil fuzzy. Only to be RT-beaten out by Ms. Betty Butt of the Twerk team. I should have known then. BUT, a couple of days later I promised him some Andre Hommes sneakers for Christmas and when he DID reply I vowed to get the screenshot of his twitter reply tattooed on my back. 2 days later me and my fellow co workers walked down Fulton St. to go grill shopping to compare prices. Because we’re smart. It was that serious.

December 4, 2012 came and I was strapped with my suitcase full of camera equipment, 4 cameras (including my iPhone) my trusty tape recorder, along with gloves and an umbrella (because New York weather is crazy).

9pm
Rolled up to Santos Party Haus in China Town for the show, and me and an unknown guest (let’s call him Meatloaf) cut the line like Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan back in ’07. We were PUMPED! Floated past the bar and headed on stage to secure our spot before the show really started. #LEHGO

10 pm
DJ playing music…biddies dancing and drinking.

10:30 pm
DJ playing music…50% biddies dancing, 25% biddies yawning, 25% biddies rolling.

11 pm
DJ still playing music…drunk biddies are now sleeping biddies.

11:20 pm
A performance starts and the face’s in the crowd were like, Uhhh this cheetah has no gold on…who is THIS? I was honestly too hungry, physically sick and tired to really know who these people performing were, but I didn’t care how good or bad they were.. he wasn’t my Trini.

12:30 am
Many rappers and blunts later they decided to bring Mr. Jame$ out to us as a treat. WHATEVER, FINALLY! We were told that we could only take photos of the first 2 songs and I was cool with it because I was going to get an interview later on! I thought “shit, I don’t even really need my camera now, but what the hell! I’ll take advantage of this opportunity.” My mans gets on stage and only performed 4 songs, 2 of the 4 being his single All Gold Everything. 4 songs…All Gold Everything TWICE. I get it dude! that song’s THE SHIT and the reason I love you, and that’s how you got big. Cool! But people paid to come and see this guy and his opening acts (multiple) performed damn near 6 songs EACH. He did what felt like a 10 minute set which needless to say was quite the let down. I  did enjoy ASAP Ferg’s surprise performance. Hell, boogers damn near flew out of my nose when I saw that guy!

At the end of it all, I was too tired and hungry to even wait in a posse line which was like an hour wait to get an damn interview. I mean it took him 5 hours to perform, was I really gonna get my hard hitting questions (like “can I paint one of your nails?) answered from a man who was surrounded by biddies, weed and liq? NAW SON, Try again. So we left.

I got the craziest reality check when I saw Trinidad on stage. It was like I was cheated out of the performance of my dreams and he didn’t care. From being shoved by lame ass security guards who looked like all they wanted to do was smoke, to being the only girl with a camera on stage, to 7 ft males towering in front of me so I had to go between their legs to get a shot. I was physically-and metaphorically- not built for this life.

It’s a shame, but I’m officially over Trinidad Jame$, gold gang and ignorant ratchet rap music. He was honestly the only ignorant rap phase I went through and it lasted a good month, it was fun while it lasted and thank you for making my peers and coworkers think I was bonkers.

However, during my time on stage with about 50 other people, I had the chance to look around and realize that hip hop has changed and what’s left is pretty sad. That’s what hurt the most when I finally took my rose colored glasses off and looked at all the people who were posing for me with pre-rolled weed in their hands “like hey! snap me.”

Since he didn’t answer my questions for the interview that was going to blow Ms. Walters out of the water, I’ll answer them myself. 

What kind of iPhone do you have?
4s, but I have a Boost Mobile Chirp too…old school.

What phone did you have before?
A flip. Next queshin.

What did you do after @fatbabybella tweeted about your hit song, All Gold Everything?
I felt like I was on top of the world! Like Brandy and Ma$e! That was my shit back in da day

How would you feel if I told you I was the person on twitter who promised you the Andre Hommes Sneakers for Christmas?
I mean wassup doh, where my sneakers at woadeh?

What’s your next music video?
Females Welcomed

Can I be in it?
Didn’t I just say females welcomed? You a female aintchu?

May I paint one of your nails?
If was tested on animals no, and I only use Chanel’s Gold Fiction from fall 2008. Dat shit is pure 24 karat bars for ya nails brah. I only have 2 bottles so I only paint my pinky nail.

If you weren’t rapping what would you be doing?
I would probably be a Gold Miner.

As an artist what do you feel your roll is within the music industry and how much power do you think that you hold at this point?
I feel mah roll is to open people’s minds to music and get my people off silver! I want everybody to switch their Periodic Table of Elements symbol from AG to AU babeh! #augang.

Where do you get your GOLD pieces from?
That my dear, is classified information…

Favorite 5 music videos of the songs?
That’s like asking me to pick my favorite Beatles song. Next queshin.

In the words of ASAP Rocky, would you fuck a toothless bitch?
How old is she and what’s her pant size.