stop blaming single mothers for the toxic actions of men

By Asher Primus, AFROPUNK contributor

After learning of the horrible crimes of the Cleveland shooter, Steve Stephens, I was eager to learn what men had to say via YouTube and Facebook, yet small vloggers and small podcasters proved too much of a disappoint as they do not talk about the elephant in the room—the fact that many men need mental health evaluations and that that’s nothing to be ashamed of. Especially given the fact that male problems often end up being unfairly blamed on black women.

There is a widely-accepted assumption that Stephens was raised by a single mother (without the basis of research), which became the illogical reasoning for his killings. Whether he was or was not raised by a single mother has little to do with his actions.

For years, single mothers have been stereotyped as the ill of the world and to blame for the mistakes made by black boys. When black men are in the wrong or become abusive, single motherhood highlights the Men’s Rights theory women are raising the very men that they hate or hurt them.

The accountability of the situation should fall only on Stephens and not his mother or girlfriend. No one is erasing the importance of fatherhood in the black community the issue is that there is no accountability and it falls solely based from conservative rhetoric.

If a man is deemed weak, emotional, or too attached to women, then he is assumed to have been raised by a single mother, meanwhile the image of a two parent (heterosexual) household is perfect and beyond critic. There is a myth within the black community that our women are to blame for poverty, their own abuse and failure within men. There women are doing the best that they can, at least offer support and love.

Men raised by other men are not always angels. The credit is not automatically given just because he is a male. There are fathers who teach sexism to their children as their daughters’ sexuality is under surveillance, the sons have the greenlight to date on their terms. They are thought girls are just a number, yet consent is rarely discussed. At times boys are on the receiving end in parental sexism as their vulnerability or lack of aggressiveness becomes a sign of questioning their sons’ sexuality and manhood.

*My name is Asher Primus, I am a graduate of Augusta University majoring in Communication with a minor in Women’s and Gender Studies. While in Augusta University, I was a part of Black Student Union, The Initiative, Thinktools Inc., Cru and Women’s and Gender Studies Association. My hobbies are video gaming and practicing my skills in blogging. Blogging is a stress relief because I am often surprised that my perspectives are shared by hundreds of people. In the future, I plan to volunteer in safe house and shelters.

By Asher Primus, AFROPUNK contributor