Why Don’t Afro-Punks Hook-up??

This particular topic strikes a nerve, because it makes no sense at all. After my rant I hope you all have some answers because I am simply confused. Afro-punk’s (the documentary) main purpose was to expose issues that minorities face within a white washed scene and show each one of us within these scenes that we are not alone. A few years later the film has grown into an awesome community of die hard rock fans of color from all corners of the Earth, mission accomplished. However I notice a disturbing pattern amongst AP men and women that I can’t ignore. Allow me to explain.

Why Don’t Afro-Punks Hook-up?
Words Amber Alexander

Amber and her boyfriend, Mike, who met on Afropunk.com

At the AP fest 2010 in Brooklyn, lots of gorgeous people came out to support their favorite bands and have a great time. There were punks galore with sick ink, piercings, cool outfits and shit. Yet barely anyone seemed to mingle. Call me delusional if you want, but I witnessed it first hand with my own two eyes. I did notice hell of a lot of interracial couples though, which is fine diversity is beautiful but the afro-punk guys and gals appeared to completely ignore each other. I leaned back against a tall gate under the blazing sun and observed non-black girls by the skating ramp getting lustful stares while fellow AP females received nothing but two second glances. Oh don’t think you ladies are exempt, I saw y’all drooling over Dave Navarro look-a-likes meanwhile Lajon Witherspoon’s long lost twin brother was being overlooked. What gives?

More recently I ran into a black metal head dude on the bus in my neighborhood and he was so eager to chat with me. Quite frankly I was shocked because I’m so used to getting the boot from guys like him plus we were in the middle of Canarsie, Brooklyn. We spent half our ride discussing music, his badass d.i.y. jacket, and my love for bad brains. Needless to say, it got pretty loud in there. He also mentioned that he had a hard time dating black girls in the scene because they only like white guys. I told him my boyfriend is just like him; a black guy into metal and he was surprised.

Speaking of my boyfriend, outsiders assume we both date outside of our race. Then piss their pants when they see us together as if to say we are an abnormal couple. Rare? Yes. Strange? Not even. It just so happens that we are sexually attracted to both black people AND rock music. There’s more where that came from.

Too often black folks within the rock scene who are fully aware of other blacks just like them completely dismiss each other. They refuse to date, hang out, or even be associated. It is very ironic that we complain about finding fellow blacks with mutual interests to date yet when we do we run back to blondie. Maybe it’s fear of being tossed to the side or maybe most of us truly aren’t attracted to our own kind who knows. Whatever the case I do know one thing, we have a ways to go.

Tags: Afro-punk, afropunk.com, dating, hook-up

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Comment by Kya Simone on September 4, 2011 at 11:24am: Hey there ladies and gents, great thread.

I love black people. I grew up in the Bahamas so I'm used to seeing strong black people. Doctors, lawyers, teachers, everyone in the media. That could be one of the reasons I have dated only blacks (with the exception of one spanish/greek guy) but I don't believe so. There are very very very few AP's where I am from, esp when I was a kid....I felt really isolated. The fact that I am from a tri-racial background of course made me "WHITE" to my peers. The fact that i listened to music other than rap/hip-hop/reggae made me a "WEIRDO" to everyone!

Which of course only made me rebel more. I really did yearn to be around people like me....but never once did I say "I wanna be around white people...they are like me". I do not get the fascination with this european beauty. The thin lips, the lack of hips, the boring, thin hair.

My gf in a beautiful black woman. I am so happy I found her. She was raised in NY (Harlem), and is such a strong, vibrant, INTELLIGENT individual. She has taught me about many black figures, and I in turn share my knowledge on ital living, and the simplicity of the Caribbean (there is no App for that!). She has been growing her locs for 14 years, and is helping me on my journey (3 months in!!) We can spend spend all day listening to the teachings of Marcus Garvey and all night head banging.

I really fell in love with her when she threw a house party a few months back and I realized how diverse her friends were....black, white, indian, asian...it blew me away. a lot of people can preach about having friends from all walks of life, few can prove it.

So basically to sum up this rant, it would be nice to see more AP's together. I think we just don't give each other a chance. I love being able to talk openly about oppression and moving forward with my partner and not have it be deemed as some old "racist" jive. To be able to scream "nigga, nigga, nigga, turn down the volume" and then burst into giggles cuz no one is offended.

But most importantly I think if AP's were to get together it would really show everyone that black punks are not trying to conform to what is still viewed as a "white" lifestyle. Black is beautiful.

Obviously, if you love a white person I am not hatin' on you. Just make sure you are happy and love the person...not the color.

Comment by Albert Frankenstein on August 4, 2011 at 8:45pm: Man, I don't know why. I'm open to attractive afro-punk girls. In fact I would prefer them, but they are always with white dudes, which leaves me with crazy (mostly) white women.

Comment by Ms. Dynasty on July 10, 2011 at 8:33pm: ive dated an afro punk guy before n i hang with ALL sorts of ppl! black white asian,green..dont matter..people should be looking at personalities too..there are some cuties out there ;)

Comment by TDez on June 25, 2011 at 12:37am: Interesting thread. I'm mixed (AA/Native Am/English/Irish/Dutch and except for a few rare exceptions, have dated AA, Latino and mixed guys. Living in NYC, I guess I've had more options than a sister living in, I dunno, Toadsuck Arkansas, and the guys who turned me on to Fishbone, Red Hot Chili Peppers, the Doors, Pink Floyd, Bad Brains, Suicidal Tendencies and Slayer were brothers. White guys are cool to look at and chill with but when it comes to forming a relationship, I prefer and am simply more comfortable with men of color. Guess I take after my Mom :)

I think Artsynerd hit it on the head: most of us APs have been on the receiving end of funny stares and rude comments from other black people simply because we don't fit into that stereotypical box of what black is...and lets just keep it real, on the dating tip its the white people who want to show you any type of romantic interest. after awhile, you get conditioned to that.

Fortunately, I haven't had to fit in that box or become conditioned to only expecting to catch rhythm from White cats 'cause NYC has plenty of brothers who dig rock and other alt shit (and yours truly). I plan to be at AP'11 and although I'll be with my man, it'll do my heart good to see all you fine AP brothers congregated in one place.

Comment by Mākasu on June 15, 2011 at 3:09am: I love black woman, the darker the better, and if you like rock and comic books I'm fucking yours lol. I dated a black goth even though she does the goth style her own way by not taking that life style to serious like she doesn't have to be uber dark and depressing everyday and that is what I like about her or any woman regardless of color is that they have an open mind while follower their own path without being a zombie slave about it and mindlessly following some kind of trend or scene and dissing those people who don't share their views. Even though it didn't work out between me and my black goth x, we're still friends and talk on a regular basis. However, as a black man who is in to Rock, Animation, Comic Books, and other things not typical of black people I do find it difficult to talk to black women and other women of color. They're expectations of a guys seem very limited in that they think you'll be dog or in my case a perverted nerd when they see you wearing a starwars t-shirt, something like that. If you can't give a man the time of day to talk to you why even try to define him, you didn't get know him. Not all of us have our minds in the gutter and it's not as if all of women minds are so pure.

Comment by Kia Jay on June 15, 2011 at 12:07am: I'm African American and Irish, my granny and great granny are both white and have red hair, so my mom is mixed and my sister actually came out looking mixed w/ red hair and freckles. Anyways, I have an attraction to European-Americans, I like true Irishmen and such. I haven't had a white guy interested in me since middle school because I come off "too intimidating" apparently and I'm not a skinny girl lol I have hips and boobs. Recently I was attempting to date a German-American but I intimidated him sexually because he had never been with a black female and I told him I've never done anything with a white guy... long story short, we don't speak now (nothing more than a kiss happened). I'm 20 and I've only been in 4 relationships, 3 Hispanic and 1 black. I do find it hard to date black guys because I don't share any real interests with the ones I meet. I've had a few make fun of me and actually say I'm not black enough and I've been stepped on because since I didn't portray the stereotypical loud, ignorant, demanding sista they treat me basically like a door mat. I've never met an Afro Punk before here in Michigan, it would be interesting. If I can make it out to the festival this year I will be more than happy to meet an African American man with my same interests. As to why Afro Punk males seem to lean more towards white woman, I have no clue..why wouldn't they be excited to meet a rock/punk black woman they can connect with?? Maybe white women fit their "idea" of what a punk girl is suppose to look like since the media portrays anything rock as "a white person thing". I would love to date a white man with piercings, tattoos, green eyes and the whole works BUT I would also love to date a strong black man, with a sense of self who loves rock and gore as much as I do and who isn't "intimidated" by me. I just feel its ironic that an Afro Punk probably won't give me a second look because I'm black and a white man probably won't give me a second look because I'm black...O_o lol idk man, idk but to all the MEN reading this, don't pass us up with out even giving a chance..and WOMEN don't pass them up without even giving a chance.. skin color shouldn't be on your check list (-__-)

Comment by Brown Kitsune on May 30, 2011 at 5:23pm: I'M glade you guys found each other^.^ You both are hot! hahaha! I think you just do what you wanna do and not put too much on love. If ur love is white then go for it, black go for it too we all have our own attractions and to say that someone "needs" to be attracted to someone they r not is unrealistic. as time move on we all will have different views on beauty, romance and stuff like that. Itll be different as we get older or it may stay the same... depends. For once lets stop with the race thing. if your into white ppl go for it. if you in to black or both go for it. I think it starts becoming a problem when you start dising ( as in comparing white men to black men or black women to white women) I think that when it starts becoming an issue bc your bascily talking about ur mom and dad and sisters and brothers. This prob have nothing to do with this forum but this is my opion lol)

Comment by NorvisJr on April 19, 2011 at 4:44am: FYI AP 2011 im comin for you all. Im actually exited for the festival for no other reason then a miles worth of fantasies come true. Maybe we can swap numbers and talk bands over a bowl.

Comment by NorvisJr on April 19, 2011 at 4:40am: I dont like white girls and to me i think that black girls should be way more on alert than black guys in general. I always figured myself ugly till not too long ago and even then i would get play from white girls. Honestly I can't stand them I had an intimate encounter once with a white girl and I thought her nose stuck out too far. I recently met the first other male AP in my parts and He's STRICTLY into white chicks. I dont get it...THey have a funny smell, they walk clumsy, there hair is heavy, there lips are thin and yet it seems all my non white friends are all about white girls. I've tried to date every AP chick ive come across since i started to listen to Jimi and my world flipped. that has been 3 in the entirety of 3 years each of them has in one way or another told me that they dont like black guys cause black guys dont like them. thing is white guys dont like most of them either so now 2 of them are queer apparently and the other is in love with someone who pays her no attention as in he ignores her not some sort of twisted relationship. I search for AP chicks but they really dont exist in my parts. im not bitter about it nor do i think much about it either. I think we put too much time into this romantic thing anyway in my opinion. Am i wrong....Yes. Relationships make things better but when you cant find them and most of them have been trained (please take no offense to that word womens) to find you as the object of their frustration its hard for those strong romantic foundations to flourish. Whatever.
BTW i know this has nothing to do with this but i hope this guy travis is grabbing his socks at the moment. maybe if your reading this your E.S.P. can will it to happen. THANKS.