Mackenzi bell's Comments

Hey Mackenzi,

I just read your last blog post... wow... despite the depths, glad you're still enjoying life! Thanks for sharing.

Rock Hard! Rock Sexy!

† The Deacon †

HEY !! THANKS FE DI ADD!!!!!!!

Hey babes! I'm doing a video on the girls, guys, queens, and etc. of afropunk.The video will be pictures of the afropunk people to show off their styles, personality,and all around BADASSINESS (if thats a word) attitude! So if you want to be in my my video contact me at:

brownkitsune@ymail.com

   I'm glad to hear that things go well with you. Met a 75 year old guy yesterday that looked healthier than me. He survived Sing Sing prison in NY and prostate cancer.

     Will that gorilla still want you when you turn 75?

   Just thinking about you. How are you doing?

   I read your comment about all hell breaking loose when you turned 20. Wait until you hit 30 little girl and you will see what hell breaking loose really looks like!

   How are you doing?

   I am interested in something you told me, that you have faith in the world's belief system. Thank Goddess that you know that there are other beliefs in the world than just the Bible! The bible is okay, but it's just one religion among many. Most people born and raised here don't seem to have a clue. I think Eastern philosophy has a better understanding of spirituality than we do in the West but a person has to find what works for them. Tell me, what have you found in particular that works for you? I think this is the only way anyone can stay on top of things in life, you have to have something larger than yourself_ and any problems you may face_ in order to stand strong. That is easy to do when things are going well but one needs one's faith the most when one isn't feeling it at all. This is what separates the weak from the strong. But, again I say it: IT CAN'T RAIN ALL THE TIME.

   Also, I think death is the biggest joke there is. I think the worse part of death is us fearing it while we are alive. I bet you in reality we have nothing to fear from it. We have aways been alive and always will. One way or another we all will be okay.

   Once again with the double post!

   What would be the "meaning" of the way the sentence turned out?

   I consider Satan to be a female warrior. Of course She would want to say hello to you.

  Hey. Just taking a second look at the first sentence of my previous post. I really don't know how that happened, I checked back because I wanted to see if it was still there.

   I have had a lot of synchronistic experiences in my time, my faith in my religion is built up from them_ it is one of the ways the side of Being we can't see, speaks to those who learn how to listen. Not everything is the universe talking to you, of course, sometimes a coincidence is a coincidence, but at other times the meaning of the event is so strong and to the point, that it can't be anything else but Divine Being (however you see it).

   I hope I didn't scare you. Probably the last thing you want to hear is that it is possible to have to struggle with something damn near all your life. When I was young and in the worse of things, this thought was a nightmare to me that I didn't want to hear. At that time I was hoping for a early defeat of my problems so I could get on with the business of living my life. I took a way longer detour than I had anticipated.

   I've learned to say, however, that Goddess knows best. I think I'll be okay. I know too much not to.

•  Hey  Mackenzi love your name, has a nice ring to it.

   What I want to know is, how do you do it, stay positive when most in your shoes would be depressed? People talk about being positive but let something bad happen and 9 times out of10 all that positive talk goes right out the window. I know a thing or two about battling serious demons myself and have learned the hard way, that you really have to keep an eye on your thinking if you expect not to be defeated. A lot of the time a positive attitude is the only thing standing between me and complete grief.

   I use to be agoraphobic_ which is basically a fear of people. I was like that for 15 years. It's a long story but the worst part about those years were the times when I felt that I'd be condemned to live the rest of my life in-doors, hiding away from people. Those were always my darkest moments, just some very black shit. A day hardly went by where I didn't think of suicide and I had to deal with this phobia on my own_ my parents were no help and had issues of their own.

   Well, by the grace of Queen Lucifer I survived. but there's a lot of residual stuff I deal with now, so keeping the spirits up is still something I have to do. Does it ever get easy? I feel like that maybe it's a mistake to even think about the pain when you're feeling it, It's like on the surface I'm saying "think positive" but my second-thoughts go merely on their way saying how rotton I feel.

   It's a battle but_thank Goddess_it's not a constant one. I tell myself, like in the Crow movie, that it can't rain all the time and surely it doesn't. Some times the rain showers can be hell but what else can a person do if he or she wants to live and still has dreams of things to do?

   There is so much I would like to talk to you about...I could use an encouraging word from some one else every now and then. It's a lonely struggle, not the kind of thing you tell just any and everybody..